Reviews for Excel Saga: The Fanfic You've all Been Waiting For
Pen-Versus-Sword chapter 1 . 1/16/2009
I have some constructive criticism for you.

-Every time one character finishes dialogue, and before another character begins dialogue, you must start a new paragraph. Text blocks are poor format choices. Most of the time, if you block together text/dialogue, your reader will give up trying to figure out who is saying what. It also hurts the eyes.

-Don't change tense. You've changed tense often, sometimes in the same paragraph. Stick to one tense. Past tense is generally used most often.

-After a character finishes dialogue, but before the end quotaion marks, you use a comma, not a period.

For example: “We’re the only members of ACROSS.” Hyatt stated.


“We’re the only members of ACROSS,” Hyatt stated.

-The idea behind your story was all right, but the story itself was a bit jumbled. You might want to do a re-write, and make things a little clearer. I know this is an Excel Saga fic (and the very nature of ES is jumbled and crazy) but you don't want to lose readers because they don't want to be bothered trying to decipher your story. See if you can get yourself a good beta.

Good luck.
Saiyan Angie chapter 1 . 2/5/2008
A good base, but it lacks organization. Even a few more indents would help.