|Reviews for Endgame|
| Sandshrew777 chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
There are some minor grammar/spelling glitches that I'll get out of the way first: fourth years should be capitalized; 'to close' needs another 'o'; "she should have having" is missing a word; and there are spots that are single-spaced. I'm not sure if that last one was intentional for stylistic effect, but it somewhat threw me off.
Otherwise, I like the repeated idea of Timbuktu throughout this and the constant commentary on both character's parts veiled by simple, somewhat inane, conversation. I don't know if I completely buy that these characters would be juggling their perception of each other so completely, and with such intelligence, but the more I read, the more I bought into it. It seems a little odd to me, but I liked the deep level you brought into this here.
I don't know if the overly sensual hair touch or chocolate licking (well, almost) would be appropriate for James. I think Lily would fight back, but she doesn't, and you don't really address that idea for her, I don't think. It's an interesting and vital one for her characterization and I didn't fully get that.
Otherwise, I see amazing imagery and symmetry drawn between objects and ideas. Your creativity astounds me, again, and I would have liked more of those parallel examples. Especially interesting was the bit about James' craving for the endgame, which came up once and then petered (ha, ha) away.
Your must subtle nudge, the line from Sirius near the middle regarding James, showcases a whole other scene we never fully receive in the books. I loved that reference. Excellent.
The dialogue really works here. It's natural, it's poignant, and it's crisp. Not a major proponent of the story, but it serves its purpose with dignity.
| lyin chapter 1 . 2/13/2008
james' annual valentine's day trip to the hospital!... ohh, so wonderful. (random thing i noticed- 'too', not 'to' in your wild animal comparison up top which btb, i liked) loved this whole piece- so sweet, so fun, so perfectly valentine-y, wonderful chocolate description, and of course he'd follow her to timbuktu :)- fantastic lily/james piece, as usual
| respitechristopher chapter 1 . 2/12/2008
My goodness. In about ten minutes of plot between the two scenes in your story, you've managed to create an absolutely profound depth of emotion between your characters, and an equally deep empathy between characters and reader. This was simply remarkable. Thank you for sharing it.
| LauraWalden chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
Awe. The part about the annual trip to the Hospital Wing made me giggle. Nice work.
| dancingcarrot21 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
I like this line a lot:
He bit back a smile, a rush of affection flooding his body. Everything was right with the world if Lily was in denial. It just proved what he’d always suspected: some people never change.
Very true about Lily, and how James would feel. I like that tidbit of honesty you worked in.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
interesting, but in my opinion OOC
| Cherlemagne chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
| fauves chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
I thought this was very cute Lexie. Very good job! Thanks for the review.
Pinky x XD o.O
| Eve1980 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
| Nirselen chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
This one was... interesting. The style was different from your other fics. I think the characters even feel different. I think I prefer the others more, but this one was still good!
| Cuban Sombrero Gal chapter 1 . 2/5/2008
Nice work, as always, Lexie.
I think my favourite thing would be the balance between romance, drama and humour. D It's the traditional crack-up we associate with Lily and James, but you've managed to go deeper and make them more three-dimensional and rounded at the same time, especially James.
I think the chess theme, the endgame, that was worked incredibly well throughout, and thanks for inspiring me to do some more work on my LJ oneshot. :)
| James'sSnitchBoxersLover chapter 1 . 2/5/2008
Aw! If only life could really be like that! I lovd your stories, I always get so excited when i read them, like it's happening to me :-)
| Lola-LessThanThree chapter 1 . 2/5/2008
That was adroable. I absolutely love your Lily and your James, and together they are one big couple of awesomeness.
Happy Valentine's Day. )
| mustardgirl1128 chapter 1 . 2/5/2008
aww! So adorable! I really, really loved this. It was sweet-and funny, with the rest of the Maurauders expecting James to get hurt-and I loved that! Lily was perfect: over-anylizing, etc. Great job! Loved this, its now on my favorite's list!
| redredreglasses chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
Very cute oneshot.
Loved how you could see both Lily and James's view.
Adding this to my c2!