|Reviews for Rising Star|
| dragon slayer of death 98 chapter 45 . 12/25/2015
great chapter and the 666th reviewer, ive got lucifers number oh yeah
| Swaggerboy chapter 3 . 12/22/2015
Thanks for the history lesson.. Dissapointed me man
| Ducks-Go-Aflack chapter 35 . 11/17/2015
Um, yeah... No. No freaking way.
Why? Because chemistry.
Haku would need to apply massive amounts of pressure to force steam to change into water, and then ice. Then, to make so much of it... You would need energy equivalent to that procured by a fission reactor to maintain that level of output.
Also, piloting the dragon like some kind of mechazoid,... Slightly more believable, but still pretty hilarious. Like, I don't think I've works that way, moving fluidly like a bird. Last I checked, ice was pretty rigid and brittle. Not exactly prime construction materials.
| AnonOne chapter 8 . 5/28/2015
Squick, squick, squick. Err... I need some brain bleach. I'll be be back later.
Okay. Sorry about that. I figured it was way too soon for anything that intimate to be happening between Naruto and Hinata, most preferred pairing be damned. Ah, well, so you've introduced Minato now? It's a bit generic how Naruto reacts. Astounded, touched, upset and gets a large inheritance? Kind of predictable, but you seem to have a knack for not making certain fandom clichés over the top. You also seem to be able to make the Sanseirei's growth fairly realistic, though I need to read further chapters to see where they truly stand.
| AnonOne chapter 7 . 5/26/2015
Alright chapter. You're really not afraid to reprimand your characters, which is good, since it does help give some character development to them. However, I do get a bit nervous looking at the sheer amount of ressources put into the Sanseirei's training, since it seems to be so centered on them, regardless of how hellish the training is.
| AnonOne chapter 6 . 5/21/2015
I... hit a brick wall. Twelve year old romance jumpstarted in one day... *Shudder*. Seriously, you should've developped their relationship from normal acquaintances to more than friends. After all, it's the journey that matters, not the destination, or something like that.
| AnonOne chapter 5 . 5/19/2015
I think the Diabolus (or Deus?) Ex Machina you used last chapter was rather unnecessary. You didn't need to shove all that drama (Iruka and Youichi's death) combined with the total disaster the Kyuubi nearly caused through sheer stupidity all with Mizuki being on the verge of death. Now I have no idea how too feel about the events. I'm too gobsmacked to feel sad about the deaths, which isn't really good considering a good story has a reader feel all its highs and lows. Not that your story isn't good, but you shift between the mood so fast that the reader can't have the shock settle into them. Or you can visualize our minds going at top speed before smacking into a brick wall.
I'm not feeling the vibe of the dead characters very well in this chapter either, since a) your narrative hardly commits to delving into much of the thoughts of the characters on Iruka and Youichi's death (it's mostly dialogue, which doesn't set a whole tone for such a tragedy) and b) you dumped a plateful of exposition all at once into the reader. Describing backstory is fine, but you should really give in simple mouthfuls and not everything at once, since it helps the reader crave for the details and work through future chapters. It's also extremely awkward having to work through exposition on rather sensitive and emotional situations, which is why I didn't really bother mentioning the long description of the backstory of the Bijuu.
Otherwise, a fair read. You balance Naruto out well before, but I have no idea how this new jutsu changes anything. Well, I guess we'll have to see.
| AnonOne chapter 3 . 5/19/2015
Aww man. I liked Youichi for the short time we knew him. Well, that means you've written him well.
I just want to note that you touch the familiar aspects of most Naruto fanfiction, but it's not unbearable, so I'll see how this goes.
| AnonOne chapter 2 . 5/19/2015
Not bad so far. Excellent fight scene by the way. Really puts a nice spin of tactics and skill needed to fight someone tough like that.
| Cryptorex chapter 3 . 1/14/2015
Maybe it is too early to say, but I am geting a ex machina much? Feeling. You write well.
| brutusjr chapter 44 . 12/29/2014
Worse chapter so far... Overall good story though
| nantekotta chapter 45 . 3/11/2014
Please continue this series. I do enjoy it. If you have to end it, end it on a happy note.
| Drifting Roses chapter 45 . 2/11/2014
First off, let me begin by saying thank you for putting so much time and effort into this work. It is truly a piece of art, and for the many hours of pleasure it has brought me I can only give my heartfelt gratitude. As a first time author myself these are the kind of stories that I aspire to, and I hope that one day I will have the same mastery of storytelling, plot weaving, and characterization as you do. This is by far one of the best stories I have ever read on this sight, and I really do hope that you find your muse again and keep writing.
Secondly, the things I enjoyed the most. I really like the way that everything has a story and an explanation, even if it is often convoluted or murky as all hell. In fact, that is what makes it so engaging. The suspense of wondering just what is going to happen next is what kept me reading, as well as that feeling of wonderment when everything finally comes together.
I love your characterization of mainstream canon characters like the Sandaime and Fu, and even those who where OOC like Hinata had a very good reason for being so. None of that I wanted it to be that way so deal with it stuff like so many other others do, you actually reasoned through the realistic reactions people in your story would have to certain events. For example when Naruto actually got pissed at the Sandaime when he learned that the man had been manipulating him. So many other works I've seen have just had him adopt a forgive and forget kind of policy, and it is truly refreshing when you come across a Naruto who walks the fine line between his canon personality and angsty as all hell. You were able to portray him as just dark enough while maintaining his cheerful and optimistic outlook.
Thirdly, I really enjoyed the way you managed to dodge so many common pitfalls that could have turned this story sour. The Arsenal hasn't turned into some kind of Chekhov's Armory, Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke haven't been turned into deities in all but name, and their actions actually have realistic consequences.
Finally my favorite part about reading Rising Star was the political maneuvering. The Black Files, the Sandaime's manipulations, the Council of Nine, all of it was extremely well thought out and practically sucked me in. Overall, I would give an 11/10 and wish you good luck with writing, and life in general!
P.S. Any tips for a first time writer, like how you keep all your behind the scenes action organized? My brain is going berserk and, even though I know where I want to go with my story I keep trying to add details that end up snowballing into one giant pile of tangled connections and confusing plot points. Any time you can take to give a fellow writer a hand would be much appreciated!
| Dragon Man 180 chapter 45 . 12/25/2013
Oh hell, how many times will Naruto die in this fic? the shade was kind of disapointing, it seems just like a fairly simple video game boss since it didn't use different tactics and went down fairly easily once Naruto got the pattern down.
| zeeanon chapter 45 . 12/24/2013
Hope the story doesn't end like this, but if you got important things to handle to get your gear back in the pack then that's far more important. And if it is the end, it's been one hell of a ride Witch.