Reviews for To Live in the Shadow
Guest chapter 2 . 11/6/2012
PLEASE update
Guest chapter 2 . 11/1/2012
PLEASSSSSSSEE update. I LOVE this story so much and I check to see if you update like every other day. Oh I'm asking u to update To Live in the shadow.
Guest chapter 2 . 6/29/2012
its really good keep going
christa chapter 2 . 10/4/2008
love love love you're story so far. i always get so freakin happy when i manage to stumble upon really well written outsiders fics, most specifically shepard fics. please please please post more soon! i really like how you have portrayed curly's respect and admiration for tim. although both tim and curly are somewhat minor characters, i love reading fics about them (especially tim) as it allows for more character growth. i cant wait to see where this story's going cause its already looking really good! more please )
Mars on Fire chapter 2 . 7/3/2008
Your writing skills have improved SO much! I am really proud of you! It's great to see the improvement in your writing over the last little while.

This was a great chapter. I think you've got Curly's personality down so wonderfully - a little cocky, but covering up being unsure of things. His conversation with Angela was great - I always imagine him having a totally back and forth brother/sister relationship with her, where they don't ever listen to each other and fight all the time, but he tries to rule her because Tim does, and she totally won't let him lol.

I loved the ending - I can totally see Curly not admitting he had no idea what Connie was talking about until he caves and asks Tim lol. That was so brilliant. Curly's got this total woobie vibe, I love him. He needs a hug lol.

Great job with this chapter, and good work with your writing!
dreamer 3097 chapter 2 . 7/3/2008
this is good
xocrazililkelox chapter 2 . 7/2/2008
I really enjoyed this chapter, I like Connie she’s a seems like a likeable character and a non Mary-Sue which is always good . I think she’s gonna be a good match for Curly(If that’s the direction your going in .) . I hope you update soon , Pretty please?
SisterCat144 chapter 2 . 7/2/2008
i'm glad you finally updated!

plz coutinue it's really good!

D

~Alisha~
cool chapter 1 . 3/1/2008
ilike it must read more UPDATE SOON!
xocrazililkelox chapter 1 . 2/14/2008
This was really good and very enjoyable. If this is your first fic I'm very impressed and I can't what to see the rest and see where you the story
zevie chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
Nice start. I love how much attention the Shepards are getting!

I very much like the characterization of the Shepards – Tim with his silence, all mysterious lol, Angela the complete opposite, and Curly somehow receiving the same bad treatment from them both lol. Poor Curly. You write Curly very well.

I like how blunt and definitive Curly’s feelings are. It’s very much how I imagine him: not necessarily dumb, but careless and dismissive, and very black and white

A couple things:

“The south side, with it’s big houses …”

“It’s should be “its”.

“He thought about turning around and going somewhere else, anywhere else, but he had no where to go.”

“No where” should be “nowhere”.

“And he loved being apart of the Shepard gang.”

“Apart” should be “a part”.

““Thank to you I don’t got no plans for the night.”

“Thank” should be “thanks”.

“Tim was going to be busy with the boys tonight, that took most of the guys he hung around with out of the running for tonight.”

Careful, you have a tendency to use run-ons. Like here, there should be a semi-colon or a period between “tonight” and “that” instead of a comma. Personally, I think it’s alright to do that a couple of times, imitating speech, but it is technically breaking the grammar rules, and should be a device used sparingly.

Nice job though – looks like the start of a very nice Curly fic!
dreamer 3097 chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
this is good
SisterCat144 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
this sounds good

plz update soon

D
Fosterchild chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
I hope you take this further. Good start! I'm starting to see Curly as a bigger piece of the puzzle lately, now that he's getting some luv. :)
Mars on Fire chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
Nice start. I like that you have established that Curly is pretty down on himself. I like the idea that he feels like he doesn't measure up to Tim, and it gets reinforced by the way Tim treats him.

I love how you totally identify with Curly in this - I kind of wanted to wring Tim's neck for not explaining things to Curly. I get the feeling Curly just wants someone to let him know what's going on so he feels included.

I really like this, especially in light of the fact that Curly is the middle child - that whole "invisible middle kid" thing is great.

I'm curious about the girl - I'd watch the "tight t-shirt" though - they weren't cut like the tight t-shirts of today are. A little looser - the Sears catalogues used to call them "boy tops" lol. Maybe have Curly notice it was "form-fitting" or something. A "form-fitted shirt" is free enough for it to sound like it could be any era.

I love all the Shepard fics being posted today!