|Reviews for The Birds And The Bees|
| hauntedpumpkin56 chapter 1 . 7/14/2009
this was a very funny story. loved it. one-shot
| ratherfeelpain93 chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
that was great! it's going directly to my favs.
| xxMystii chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
"it's like the tango"
"So the baby isn't brought by the stork?"
and the part about Sylvia being too heavy,
I have to laugh at that.
Maybe it's her big boobs!
Keep writing, you're really good.
| Twlight-Midnight chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
Say what! Angela's pregnant, Yikes! Tim will kill the guy and then her, lol. Update soon!
| GoldenMerlin chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
I'm very mad at you. When you wrote, "Will my boobs be as big as Sylvia's?" and "I * hope not" I found it so funny that I said it out loud and could have been in trouble. Plus I'm not supposed to be on the computer, and almost woke my parents up with my giggles. :)
Hilarious story! Awesome ending, too.
| Hahukum Konn chapter 1 . 2/17/2008
Heh, this was corny :)
Tim making up stuff out of half fact and half fiction to make sure Angela doesn't go getting ideas is funny, but also kind of nice. :)
| SamanthaMae chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
That was SO hilarious! I was laughing my head off the entire time!
Besides the grammar mistakes here and there, it was perfect! I love how Tim just kept lying to her, trying to keep her away from boys. I also loved that he didn't really know everything about sex, as him being 14 or so.
I also love the minor details, like Curly knowing he wasn't school smart but he was street smart, and basically the relationship between Curly and Angela. I also love how Tim was telling her about sex and not her own mother.
"Tim, you should call the cops, it sounded like she was killing you." She told him hugging her teddy bear closer to her.
"Trust me kid she wasn't killing me."
"Will my boobs be as big as Sylvia's?" She asked him.
"I fucking hope not."
were definitely my favourite lines. Loved it! Really kept me laughing!
| alexa rosey chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
I really, really liked this :)
I love the way the conversation is very awkward, and Angela is staring at Tim's boots and finding them more interesting, lol.
And the relationship between Tim and his sister is funny, some parts made me seriously laugh out loud.
I really liked the end, with the teddy bear and everything. It wraps everything up in such a nice ending :)
Great work, love to see more from you soon!
| AceCade chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
Even with a couple of typos and stuff it was awesome!
I love the ending.
This made me laugh :D
| zevie chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
Whoa! You have a knack for relating all the cute, past stories to the present more serious situation with the greasers. Your last paragraphs always bring things home to the novel, and are usually quite the surprise. Nicely done!
Aside from the very end, this was a very cute story. I like that Tim’s not too good at handling the situation – he would only be 13 or 14 here, after all, so he wouldn’t be nearly as good at dealing with raising his siblings as 18-year-old Tim would be.
""Will my boobs be as big as Sylvia's?" She asked him.
"I fucking hope not""
Hahahaha! That’s awesome.
“Tim sighed and stood up and ran his hand through his thick, curly hair.
Angela had picked up the habit herself and usually used it when she was aggravated, stressed, or nervous. But her brother was never nervous; he was always so sure of himself.”
That’s cool – I like how you show us that Tim *is* nervous by Angela thinking he’s not lol. Your characterization of the Shepards is very good – I’m especially impressed with your Tim in this one-shot.
A few suggestions:
“Angela looked down and found Tim's boot's more interesting then the impending conversation …”
“Then” should be “than”.
“… her long, black hair flying with each behind her.”
Should there be a “step” after “with”?
"Tim, it was bad enough the first time, don't let me think about it again"
Watch out for dialogue formatting. You tend to forget periods at the ends of suspended lines of dialogue – like here, you need a period after “again”, before the closing quote marks. Also, be careful of capitalization after the quotes. Remember to use a comma at the end of the quote, and not to capitalize the dialogue tag (for example: “OMG, Tim, you’re nekkid,” she said.).
This was a nice one-shot though; your writing continues to improve! Keep it up! I enjoyed this a lot.
| NittanyLizard chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
This was so good! It was so funny the way Tim was trying to explain things to her. I laughed out loud at a few things; but at the same time, it wasn't over-the-top or campy. And then, the ending - really nice way to wrap it up. It had a good nostalgic feel to it, and gave real purpose to that memory.
| HippieHebe chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
I loved the ending! I like how you made Curly smart is this, I don't like seeing him potrayed as a dumbass. Even though, he was ony it for a little bit, it's ok, because you got him down right, lol.
""Okay, Angela. When a mommy and daddy love" Tim drifted off. Oh who was he kidding? He knew his mother didn't love Frank, and he sure as hell didn't love Sylvia. He sounded like an after school special." I loved that line, lol. It was so funny but it sounds just like Tim.
I loved the whole are cooties real, thing. It should you how young and niave she is, also shows how much she changed. Makes you feels sorry for her. Poor Angela.
| Big Town Avenue chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
I really loved this. It was uncomfortable to read, which is exactly how it should have been. Tim is too funny trying to be a parent to his brother and sister. The twist at the end was great- unexpected and sad! I always picture Angela as tough as nails, but I can see her being really upset, thinking she's pregnant. Great job.
| Maxiekat chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
Really funny in a realistically awkward and uncomfortable way. Poor Tim, lol. But I loved that he told Angela, knowing that their mother won't bother with it. That gives a nice dimension to their relationship (even if Tim's information is a bit, um, incorrect). And I loved the ending.
| byebyebirdie58 chapter 1 . 2/6/2008
Hey! Look who reviewed! :D Well, you know how much I like this already, but damn this is funny. I love Angela in this.
"Will my boobs be as big as Sylvia's?" She asked him.
"I fucking hope not"
Hahaha! I loved that. And the end was great. Really nice twist. Great job, Lox!