|Reviews for How to tell him|
| TheLastWildflowerGirl chapter 8 . 4/2/2008
The story is awesome! I think, though, that you should work on transitionsa in your dialauge. I got a headache reading this. Or maybe its just that cold I have. Also, there are too many run on sentences. Run on sentences annoy me.
NEEDS MORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!
| wierdkid13 chapter 8 . 3/23/2008
what happened to chapter 7?
| Alice Thimpleton chapter 8 . 3/19/2008
It was an interesting story, not bad.
you started off good, even though I was like "WOAH!" but then it got... Hm... well it seemed kinda rushed at the middle to end. At the beginning you were in character making them act like the characters(Besides the "thing" between Artemis and holly) did in the original series. It's hard picking up on someone else's story (A rather famous person actually) but you did a "not bad" job.
Good for you for trying! It takes guts ( that I'm not sure I have)
Anyways I hope this helps!
| catsrule chapter 8 . 3/17/2008
i like it
| kyokoaurora chapter 8 . 3/17/2008
Aw...sweet chapter, and a little cliffy too. You know how to keep me interested :)
| thewrongvine chapter 8 . 3/17/2008
Another great and emotional chapter! But one thing I would suggest doing is to have the correct spacing and indents and adding the speaker such as (also, you kinda repeated yourself in the first 2 lines of the 2nd paragraph:
Holly and Artemis were discussing amongst themselves about the baby when Holly suddenly brough up an interesting topic, "Arty, what do you want to name the baby?"
Artemis stopped for a moment and thought to himself, finally coming up with an answer, "I want to name the baby Artemis."
"What if it's a girl?"
"I was thinking of Artemis or Hunter for a boy," said Holly, "and Diana or Kamiara for a girl."
Unsure of the name, Artemis inquire, "Diana?"
Holly nodded, "After Princess Diana."
Artemis's eyes widened, "Princess Diana!"
and so on. Besides that, great job. It'll be cool to see how this unfolds.
| erm can i remain anon pls chapter 8 . 3/17/2008
dude i love ur stroy it was da BEST thing bout artemis fowl i've ever read. sweet man
| Lune chapter 7 . 3/11/2008
have you ever heard of something called grammar? or paragraphs?
| aretiredfowl chapter 7 . 3/10/2008
Good so far! :):):):) (P.S. I communicate best in smiley faces. :)
| WingedSilhouette chapter 7 . 3/10/2008
it wasn't bad at all! It was really good!
| kyokoaurora chapter 7 . 3/10/2008
Aw it wasnt that bad! It was cute!
| Hunter 716 chapter 6 . 3/8/2008
LUV IT! Sequel! Sequel! Sequel! Chant it with me! Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!
| kyokoaurora chapter 6 . 3/7/2008
I wasnt being sarcastic, I thought that was really cute!
| catsrule chapter 6 . 3/7/2008
I got all worked up for nothing! NOTHING!
| crazedreader chapter 6 . 3/7/2008
You're story is very good. It seems to get better with every chapter. Something, is though you might think about getting a beta. I myself have one(amberdream7)
Just a friendly suggestion