|Reviews for Someone Who Cares|
| ScarsOfTime chapter 1 . 8/11/2011
This story was... in the best word I can think of to describe it, brilliant. A rather strong word for such a short story, but I was blown away by it. I never knew this pairing could work out so well until I read this. I have to say, the way you portrayed both Kent and Fiora, especially, well... I've never seen them written so spot-on before. It was as if I really was in her mind and seeing everything through her eyes.
I'm actually a bit confused on why this doesn't have more reviews than it does, but I suppose, now that I think on it, the bittersweet subject matter can seem unappealing to some. I loved it though, personally. Unrequited love can be a powerful thing, to be sure.
This will definitely be going into my favorites. So, thank you for writing it, even if this isn't exactly the kind of pairing you support. I can understand the whole thing about OTPs, believe me. Take care.
| Trevor X chapter 1 . 4/1/2008
OMG - LOVELY, lovely, lovely! I admit that having known that you dislike this pairing had me a little worried before I read it, not knowing whether you'd be able to it justice, but WOW.
*Humbly* I should never have doubted your writing prowess.
Okay, quite frankly, I can never see Lyn and Hector paired up, but that's just my opinion on the matter... You wrote it so very well, that even though I can't stand seeing that pairing, I loved the story. The little interplays are just so "THERE". I don't know any other way to describe it.
Bravo on a job well done!
| Silvara chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
Thank you for the shipping tribute! lol
| Kitsilver chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
Hey hey Manna, glad to see another piece from you. I was intrigued to see that it was about Kent and Fiora, and looked forward to seeing how you portrayed this pair considering how you feel about them. And I gotta say, I really like this piece. The Fiora you portray is so honest and good, feeling anger for Kent's sake even though it hurts her to see him looking at Lyn. I was sad for Kent too, seeing him stand at a distance while the woman he loved laughed with another. But it was Fiora that I felt for most of all. You captured her spirit very well, her straightforwardness and honesty, her desire to help a friend conflicting with her silent longing for something she knows she will not have.
Well written overall, but if there was one thing to suggest: I would trim certain things, especially in the more poignant moments, because that will often give the writing more impact. Show us certain things, but don't explain them. That's the only criticism I have. Otherwise, I gotta say that this is a very good piece. It's a scenario I can easily see, and you portrayed their feelings very well.
"He completes me, and I do not think that she would understand." - simple, straightforward, and achingly earnest.
xD "It makes me wonder why his friend - the loud, flirty one- doesn't worry about him." Haha! Oh Sain...I love that guy.
"He looks to the side and sees me." - Stab to the heart. Poor Fiora.
"His unspoken question of what to do hangs in the air like a thick raincloud promising a downpour, and I hesitate because I don’t know what I would do if I were in his predicament. What will I do?"
- I'd shorten this to make it stronger. Something like 'His unspoken question hangs in the air like an ominous cloud, and I wonder what I would do in his place.'
"It could just be me, but I seem to sense a hint of dejection in his voice." Not bad, but may be better to just say 'he says, a hint of dejection in his voice.'
"I find myself close to being angry with her for it, for having someone so completely and not even fully realizing it." But it happens in life, doesn't it? Sad...for Kent and Fiora.
"The smile on his face makes my heart ache. It seems lonely to me, and I know that it is, because I am smiling the same one back at him, only he doesn’t see it, because he’s looking at Lyndis again. I can see that the way she smiles at Hector hurts Kent, and in turn, that hurts me."
- the emotion is good, but again I wish it was shorter.
"If you need to talk..."
"I will find you," he says.
- Oh... I don't know why, but that hurts. I can just see Fiora's heart twisting a little at that, wishing that a different emotion lay behind those words. That he'd find her to be with her, not because of Lyn.
“I care about you,” I say before I can stop myself, but he doesn’t seem to hear it in quite the same way that I speak it, and a part of me is relieved… Knowing my feelings would only add to his burdens, and if anything, I do not want that. “Friends are supposed to care, to be there when you need them, to listen when you have something to say. There is no debt.”
- Again, I would just trim certain things. You don't have to explain everything, and there's can be more impact when certain things are left unsaid. Maybe: '"I care about you," I say, and my heart jumps when I realize what I've said, but falls back again when he doesn't appear to notice. I smile at him and shake my head slowly. "There is no debt."'
Wah, I didn't realize Florina was involved in this too. ;_;
| Maxmagnus20019 chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
I liked it, it's like a huge OMGWTF love triangle with ANOTHER love triangle on the side.
I liked how this was written, keep up the good work!
| Lemurian-Girl chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
I must say, you surprised me. You who cringed at every Kent/Fiora reference in my fic. All teasing aside, I'm glad. Not only did you take a pairing you dislike, you were able to craft a good story out of it. Sad and yet sweetly uplifting at the same time. Fiora seemed very real to me; you captured her essence. Kent's dialogue bothered me a bit, though I can't pinpoint what it was so I'll leave it alone. His characterization though was great. The whole story flowed, and well, you just did a great job. :)
| Edward Houshi chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
It seemed a little different from your usual writing style, but I enjoyed it. It was an intresting pairing, but I think Kent was a little ooc. Maybe that's just me though.
| themagebear chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
the magebear feels you captured the essence of not only fiora, but also kent, florina, farina, and the relationship between lyn and hector all very well. good job.
| Fan Fan Girl chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
I have to admit... I liked where this piece was going UNTIL Lyn came into the picture.
Then I was a little disappointed. Because I actually LIKED your characterization of Fiora.
I wanted to know what would happen between her and Kent! I wanted to see their interaction! He seemed to be depressed about something, and she was duly concerned, but then... Lyn? Him in love with Lyn? Again? This piece could have been different if it weren't weighted down with the love triangle. It's hinted in the game that Kent feels an abnormally strong sense of loyalty to Lyn, but does he always have to take it this far? Is he so blind to Fiora's kindness? :/ Oh, Kent.
I do like your Fiora.
The style you used in this story fit her POV well. Sturdy, formal, perceptive...
So nice job with characterization. And please don't take this as a flame...? x_X
| Aquatic-Idealist chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
I've neglected reviewing your fics for too long, simply because I have not played FE7.
However, though that might help me see the characters better, it is of little importance. You are a great writer. People are people, regardless of what their hair or eye color is, regardless of their external beauty or ugliness, and you portray their souls very distinctly in nearly all of your fics. This one was no exception. It was quite sweet, and hopeful, which easily warms one's mood. Great work.