|Reviews for Blue Moon Over Manka's|
| Ashley Prescott chapter 10 . 9/3
I do not like the chapters that circles around s song or several songs. It so exhausting hearing so much inner monologs and conversations that take place focused around a song.
if this is how your other stories are than I don't think I can bare to suffer through them.
If you had done it only 1 time, that would lf been enough. because you spent so long talking about it.
But I'm really not a fan of reading song lyrics and long droned out inner conversations Bella and Edward have by themselves or with others when really all this worrying is silly and it could be easily confronted and dealt with if they would stop beating around the bush and just be mature and open and honest with one another.
And it sounds like they too often are more willing to be more open with others about their fears or doubts rather than talk to one another.
now I for one cannot see bella is the pure faithful loyal soul Edward claims Bella too be.
I mean she did allow her self to lobe Jacob as more than a friend. And she also allowed him to manipulate her into kissing him by claiming to kill himself if she didn't ask him to kiss her. Talk about chikdish!
Jacob was terrible to Bella many times. Even sexually assaulted her by forcing a kiss on her.
But Bella should of not gone hanging around him when Edward returned, She knew Jacob had feelings for her as more than just a friend and she should have put an end to their friendship and give Jacon time to grow up and get over her and find a new love. Instead of keeping him close by but at arms length which hurt him and she hurt herself and Edward as well.
Infact I felt so sorry for Edward due to Bella being to stubborn. immature and selfish.
I also found my true love at 16 years old and we got married when I was 19 and now I'm 36 and we are still very much inlove and have always been faithful to one another.
But I always took his feelings into account and always respected him and if I had a guy friend that made him feel threatened or uncomfortable. I would talk to him about it and if it came down to it and it was making him seriously unhappy. I would no longer hang around that guy.
But I've never before put myself in that position because I never wanted to husband to doubt me or feel threatened.
And it means alot that he keeps my feelings in mind as well.
We really do desire to be with one another anyway and share our free time together.
But your Edward and Bella have some major flaws they need to work on. And to get past theor insecurities and learn to trust one another 100%.
Edward needs to be open and honest with her about everything he is keeping from her on several. different subjects. Especially about Jacob and her change and his insecurities and doubts and worries that she might have doubts as well or if she has deep feelings for Jacob still. Or was she ever truly inlove with Jacob or did she only love him as a friend and sought him out like a safe harbor like she had to when Edward was gone.
I think your story has alot of potential and I do like so of the inner monologs of Edward and Bella but it was too drown out and it was starting to get on my nerves and I fear this is how the entire story is going to be. It's becoming excruciating slow placed. And tell me if I'm wrong but it sounded in Chapter 1 that Edward and Bella were already on their way to a 3 day trip only to be taken back to a flashback of Bell and Edward and Alice watching movies and the flash back never ended. It just lasted for several very long chapters when I think you could of gotten your point across in far less time.
You are also dragging out the unneeded drama and fears Edward and Bella are tormenting themselves over when you could literally just so yourself and us some long drawn out monologs and just have Edward and Bella talk and work it out and truly enjoy this trip together.
But Bell and Edward do need help with their communication.
And I cannot blame Edward for having doubts about Bellas commitment to him.
Let's not forget that she actually willingly cheated on Edward by willing kissing Jacob after accepting Edward's proposal 2 nights before.
She should lf known that kissing Jacob was not the answer and it would only hurt all 3 of them for different reasons in the long run. And if I were Bella. I'm afraid Jacob would of been out of luck because zi would refused ro kiss and let him do whatever he chose to do.
I would wish him to die but I would not let somebody take advantage of me like Jacob often did try to take advantage of Bellas big loving heart and she was sometimes ignorant and naive and gullible and lived in denial.
Out of all of them. I'm most disappointed in Bellas choices and behavior.
I'm not sure how you intend to justify her actions and how you intend to have Bella convince Edward of her love. Because for all the love she claims to feel for Edward, she did cheat on him. And even allowed herself to invision and contemplate what a future with Jacob could be like.
Gad she been so sure of Edward
| debs2crazy chapter 39 . 6/25/2022
Great story. I didn't realize it wasn't finished.
| psKatnissrocks chapter 39 . 12/22/2021
Hey your story is great but reusing the same describing words tends to make it a little cringe after a while and the word silly doesn't really fit in with your general writing style. While your creativity worth the scenarios is really great, the sheet is dragging on a little bit.
| ShiverBunny chapter 39 . 8/14/2021
I really love this extended look into Bella and Edward pre-wedding. We really missed out on a lot of moments in the actual books. Although I do wish that you'd continue this, I know it's been 13 years since you've updated so it it's pretty unlikely. Thank you for sharing this much with us, it truly is incredible! Hope you're staying safe and healthy :)
| Anon chapter 21 . 3/20/2021
I love the descriptions of the food! Absolutely makes my mouth water. Manka’s sounds like a delightful place to visit, brought to life by your words. While the writing itself is quite good, the saccharine prose is a bit too much. I find it hard not to roll my eyes every time Bella is being described as ‘a sweet girl’. The adjectives get opd very quickly. As per canon, Bella is an insipid, spineless worm and Edward is a controlling bastard who does his best to dictate every aspect of her life to the point that he is unhappy about her watching movies that make her cry. Those two do not understand the concept of healthy communication. Bella is way too emotionally immature and unworldly to be allowed to decide her future as a vampire.
| RaquelnJake chapter 1 . 11/19/2020
Excited to start this fan fiction
| Joanna chapter 39 . 7/25/2019
Please please please finish this story. I want more! You've already given so much and I know I'm being greedy... but please. I realise you probably won't read this and even less likely do as I hope considering it's 11 years since you put this last chapter up but I really hope all the same. Sending thanks from the U.K. From Joanna
| Guest chapter 21 . 7/25/2019
Hello just to let you know I'll comment properly once I've read all your chapters it won't be long
| Guest chapter 39 . 4/4/2019
Are you going to continue this story or no? I would really like it if you did though. It's amazing!
| umrmet chapter 36 . 9/25/2017
Best chapter ever!
| umrmet chapter 21 . 9/22/2017
Amazing how hot it can get and still NOT have sex. That's an amazing skill. Sometimes I think we lose something once we've "grown up" and experienced "the real thing." Not sure you can ever recapture that feeling. Loved the chapter. And no wonder Bella had to say what she ended with.
| umrmet chapter 9 . 9/19/2017
So Edward...every time you start to think he gets it he goes right back into that dark hole. You just want to have Emmett whack him upside the head with an I-beam. Great story!
| Guest chapter 21 . 9/10/2017
I love this story! Is the cabin backstory true?
| Anon chapter 39 . 5/26/2017
I love that you've researched this so well and absolutely adore your descriptions of the food!
Unfortunately, it gets old by the third chapter or so thanks to your your overuse of adjectives. Lovely, delicate, fragile, angelic, sweet. It gets nauseating after a while.
Bella is still a spineless, insecure little girl and Edward is still a chauvinistic asshole who treats Bella like a child. Not that I'm blaming you for that. You have accurately portrayed the characters from the books. That is quite admirable.
| Guest chapter 39 . 4/15/2017
omg i've been a silent reader and even though you wrote this in like 2009.. i just really wanted to see if you would ever update this story and add more chapters !