Reviews for Helpless
Ichisakuraki Reiosamuka chapter 2 . 2/20/2011
Oh how badly I wish to use this one too, but alas! It doesn't have enough figurative language. T_T Great poem, though. Short, to-the-point, but great. You're fantastic. Now stop saying you suck.
Ichisakuraki Reiosamuka chapter 1 . 2/20/2011
You are a freaking genious! I'm half-asleep and it's 11 pm, yes, but you're a genious nonetheless. I have to have 10 poems that aren't mine for English for an assignment, and I chose yours as one of them. Uh... I'm sorry I am telling and not asking, but it's due in 10 hours. So yeah. Sorry~

Oh, and I'll be posting my assignment on Facebook once I get it back, so if you want your name to be changed or your poem to be taken off, let me know.

I think I covered everything... This is the 9th time I've written this so I've no idea. Well. Thank you so much~!

~Ichi Rei (Sabrina)
OstentatiousNature chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
oh, i really like this! great job. and no you don't suck! _

this is actually really really good! yay for u
Yami416 chapter 2 . 6/30/2008
You want constructive criticism? Fine, you spelled 'constructive' and 'criticism' wrong. ] you need to stop beating yourself up, those two poems were really good, especially the first one. I dont know who told you 'you suck', but envy is a vicious green-eyed monster. -Yami416 aka Tiana
starlily chapter 2 . 6/30/2008
Okay, I don't know what idiot was telling you you suck, but its definitely not true. There is room for improvement, but its much better than many other pieces I've read. Try to keep it flowing. The way its written, the amount of syllables in each line makes the flow a little choppy, so just try to work a little more parallelism or something into it. Hope it helps!
ballhog822 chapter 1 . 6/30/2008
this is good but EXTREMELY depressing. people like to read happy stuff.
alwaysandforever08 chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
Except for him, he cares and his heart's breaking

Because no matter what, he can only look from afar

Here's how I'd write those lines:

He's the only one who cares and his heart is breaking

No matter how hard he tries, he can only look from afar

Great job with this poem!
Eillac chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
Wow. It's. . .haunting is the word I'm looking for. I could almost feel the pain myself. 4 stars.
auntiem911 chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
I think its very good and it does not suck at all!
steffi32692 chapter 1 . 2/9/2008
I really think this was a good should right more...i think its worthy of being published!