|Reviews for The Wise One: Book One: Becoming|
| user51s2r chapter 19 . 4/16
Love the story so far. I do have a bit of a problem with Remus who didn't smell/identify Peter/Scabbers, but that is easily ignored. I think there is a mistake in this chapter where Peter changes into Scabbers, and leaves his clothes behind. All other animagus transformations in this story so far, have not lost their clothes. BUT, that could be explained by Peter panicking I guess. BUT(2), Scabbers was stupified minutes earlier, powerfully stupified, being knocked off his feet by it... If a powerful stupify only lasts a couple of minutes, then why cast it at all? I will just have to edit that scene in my own mind so it doesn't break the story for me.
| sinor gamer chapter 1 . 3/18
I really don't understand your format , sorry
| SortingHat chapter 4 . 10/8/2017
I thought Harry was taken by Sirius. What happened here?
| Susan M. M chapter 2 . 9/18/2017
I don't think Augusta Longbottom would say "don't get your knickers in a twist." It seems out of character for her. Otherwise, RAEBNC.
| Comrade'sRoza chapter 25 . 9/10/2017
This was absolutely amazing!
| omh666 chapter 25 . 9/10/2017
Nice work. Looking forward to the second book. Yes I know it's already written.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/2/2017
This has to be the stupidest reason to make Neville the prophecied boy.
Are you ignoring the whole marked as his equal thing?
| Calypto chapter 23 . 7/8/2017
you know harry is more retarded here and calling someone he suspects in to the house? its either that or plot convince.
| vmcclure2 chapter 25 . 6/29/2017
Well, story was good. I read it much faster than I usually read fanfic stories &at least Moody wasn't kept hostage in his own trunk all year nor was Cedric killed as a spare. Good going!
| Kaitlinaa chapter 1 . 6/22/2017
I realize this story is very old but I can't not say something. Really disappointed by the rape scene, that's what it is so that's what I'll call it. Children cannot ever consent to sex, let alone with an adult. I know you said it has a purpose in how it will affect his perspective and relationships but seriously, what the fuck? Couldn't she have at least been a child his age? Then they're two dumb kids making poor choices instead of being molested and raped by an adult. That needs a fucking warning before the chapter far beyond 'harry does sex stuff cause Sirius'. I'm having a hard time convincing myself it's worth it to finish reading this story, that I had really enjoyed prior, and continuing onto the next. It has tainted my view of your entire story and you as an author, honestly disgusted. God, at the very least can you place an actual trigger warning ahead of it? Some of us weren't lucky enough to have avoided predatory adults when we were minors. If nothing else, I hope my comment warns anyone who might find themselves in pain from that scene. Little to no detail makes no difference, the implication is there and is harmful to others.
| alessia3922 chapter 25 . 5/26/2017
| darkpheonix31 chapter 22 . 5/24/2017
I'm glad that they're back in England but don't you think you're letting Dumbledore off pretty easily? He practically destroyed Neville's life and good intentions or not, he was wrong. Incredibly wrong. He left Harry alone to be abused and neglected and never so much as checked up on him once. I can understand the relief of someone else taking over a responsibility that you feel is overwhelming you, so it doesn't entirely surprise me to see where Sirius is coming from but at the same time it rings a bit false. He saw how Harry suffered. He knows firsthand that Dumbledore was head of the wizongomot and never even held a trial for him. He's more than justified in his anger and the idea that Dumbledore is forgiven because he seems to have other answers makes me wonder why you would follow those answers when be has been so wrong in the past. Blind following does not seem like Sirius, maybe some of the other order members, probably Remus in particular because he possess no leadership of his own, but not Sirius in my opinion. Still...if nothing else it does move the plot without having that residual distrust.
| darkpheonix31 chapter 15 . 5/23/2017
I am loving your story. Sirius is one of my all time favorite characters but I have read few stories that show him on such a good light. They either show Sirius as almost completely unhinged from Azkaban, an immature teenager trapped in a grown man's body, or else a responsible adult that seemingly has no life at all outside of Harry. The scenes with Harry in whorehouses and drinking at the age of 11 seem to show the best and worst of Sirius- a man that loves Harry more than anything but is also unable, at times, see what is, shall we call it, age appropriate behavior. I also pretty much think that Remus is the most over rated character (possibly in all of literature...too far?) And i am beyond happy that you didn't stick him as some second guardian to Harry as so many other stories do, as though too grown single men living together indefinitely is every guys dream.
I also really like what you've done with Neville, he seems so in character and my heart just bleeds for him because he's in such a terrible position. I especially appreciate that you didn't just have Neville turn around and do all of the things that Harry did- I've seen that in a lot of stories and it irks me, as though any one could have done what Harry did. Neville is a very different character and you showed that well.
I've never seen Fred and George portrayed exactly like this but am thrilled that you don't have them completely literally every sentence they ever speak and flushed them out as real people.
I always liked Ron as a character and I hope to see him and Harry become friends, I think Ron is much better with Harry at his side.
No offense but I find Ginny annoying. I don't know if that's intentional or not but telling Neville straight out that she doesn't think he's as good as a boy that she's never meant is cruel not honest. Can't wait to read more!
| Ogrebear chapter 25 . 4/24/2017
Very interesting take on the Harry Potter story- I do like were you have gone with this- Ron is a less jealous person; Remus is slightly more rounded, and not exposed to the public; Sirius is mentally well; etc, though I hope Hermione is not overly hurt by what seems to have happened to her.
Looking forward to reading Book 2.
| rpeh chapter 4 . 4/4/2017
I started reading this story after I saw some nice comments about it on Reddit. I'm very glad I did.
There's an awful lot to like in here. Harry is especially well-written; he ages believable for one thing - too many stories have him sounding and behaving the same from age 11 to age 17. His relationship with Sirius is handled well too, and the affection between the two is obvious.
Your OCs are great. Each one is original and memorable and it's always a wrench to leave them behind. The brief glimpses of Wyoming and Brazil we get later on were really welcome as it brought those characters back for one last scene. I can't help but wonder how Sirius would react if he knew he had a son though.
I'm really looking forward to reading the next two books and seeing how things go at Hogwarts.
Thanks for writing.