Bro great job by takkng things for example you give deatail in saying how hinta never kissed a guy and there first great tounge kiss great job!

Hmm, last 6 chapters that are up. I will admit, i was a bit dissapointed in how this book started with it starting up with naruto having completed his kurodenkogan training with very little insight into his failures and succeses in them (just a personal preference really). The thing with Ume being Prime i understood but, well having them as split personalities and being resolved so quickly just seemed kind of dissapointing. Sorry, i realise this review is a bit flamey but my only real problem was with the start, oh and hana being a double agent for tsunade. I dunno, the way you brought up her charecter and her reasons for wanting and then later not to kill naruto just made it seem like she was acting independantly to me. Anyway, i was surprised that you didn't have naruto do a demonstration of his kurodenkogan for the council after the instance with the kyuubi and the i assume root anbu. The solution they came up with to circumnavigate the CRA was certainly interesting and honestly if it weren't for the summary saying partial hanabi i never would have guessed it. I like that you had the use of an age of consent as the way to divert it for a while. I do wonder what naruto's friends really thought of it, i daresay if sakura were there even if she changed she'd probably still sock him one for being a cradle robber in her eyes. I like that you had lee in the state he is. I mean, i don't like seeing him completely destroyed, he's one of my favorite charecters after all, but it certainly shows just how dangerous hunting a sannin can be. I hope gai is alright. The same goes for sakura, i feel something baaaaaaad is going to happen to her after orochimaru saying he would play the terror game with tsunade, i dunno i just have the suspicion that either gai or sakura is going to be involved in some way in that. Anyway, i've gotten ahead of myself. The fact that hanabi might love naruto was certainly interesting, especially the plans cumo gave her to try to not have the marriage abollished at her birthday. Everyone seems to love scheming in this story. I feel we are going to see a LOT more naruto being screwed over by a active hanabi and a hormonal hinata. Especially since she gave him a handjob in the living room! That was very daring and i am surprised hinata didn't ask more about it seeing as how naruto thought she had done it and tried bondage play as a result. The terror tactics tsunade had naruto and his qives employ were certainly graphic, but hey thats war for ya. I realise this story hasn't been updated in 3 years and i hope it isn't because of the health problems you spoke of. I hope i get to read more in the future and that you are healthy

okay, last set of 20 here (for now) and i must say, i am not dissapointed. lets see, i think i left off last time just before fana and naruto's "essence" was seperated from him to ease the transformation process from the kurodenkogan. i am glad how you did that. the way it was worded i thought you meant you were going to rip fana and naruto apart, rather than seperate their essence from their bodies. i just read that sentence and i am amazed that makes more sense to me than the prior. no matter. the introduction of the secret societies surrounding naruto was certainly interesting and it finally answered the question i bet many were asking; what the hell was up with iruka? iruka's sacrifice was very touching, but it kinda glosses over the fact of how the hell did he know how to put naruto and fana back in? meh, i actually just went with the device simply stopped the essence from returning while he was going through the changes and the power ending simply let it go back. never mind, it was a minor plot point in my mind anyway. i like how you dealt with hinata's group encountering "uncle mina", you certainly showed that he was a bit loony very well. i also like that he was never the first to attack and his zombies only retaliated to protect him. his powers using the borrowed kurodenkogan seemed very "force like" to me, especially with naruto shooting out that black lightning looking stuff to cut up zombies. i like that uncle mina was only looking forward to seeing his brother again and beat up the guys who were mean to him, very protective older brother of him. i thoroughly like uncle mina especially since he and naruto seem to get all childlike when with each other. oh yeah, you are incredibly evil, keeping on making us think hinata was dead then throwing the curve ball. i kept having to look at the number of chapters i had left to read and thinking okay, he wouldn't kill off the main heroine this soon before the end, maybe something will happen. your evil, but i like it. the little scen with hinata refusing to kill neji was a nice touch. kakashi seemed to be a bit trigger happy at the start of the fight against uncle mina, just an observation. anyway that's all i wanted to say on the events in the darkness except, it was never really explained why the darkness was needed. was it an aftereffect of creating zombies, could they not "survive" outside of it? as is said before, minor things but still brain ticklers. oh yeah, forgot to say, cool entrance from naruto riding on fana. i like how you resolved uncle mina not to destroy the hyuugas by revealing fana as having memories of him as a brother. okay NOW i'm done with the darkness, sorry about that i usually just write these things as they pop into my head. i like your re-explanation of the powers of the kurodenkogan, this lot of explanations i understood better. hinatas decision to become a jinchuriki to live a long life with naruto was very touching, especially her crying in naruto's arms beforehand. i also like that it was Auri (i remembered how to spell her name this time, yay) who agreed to be sealed in hinata, its nice to see the demon mates sealed in the human mates. i was a bit surprised it wasn't Cumo that was sealed but i guess its better this way, especially seeing as how hanabi has bonded with her and become more child like as a result. the addition of hinata and later naruto's seals transmitting feeling between the myobu and the humans was certainly interesting, especially its uses sexually and how it made hinata a nymphomaniac, or at least more so than usual, or maybe that was her pregnancy. sasuke being experimented on by kabuto was a little unnerving to read, yet neccesary for his fight. i like the different things that naruto and hinata came up with like the light style vastly improving hinatas scorpion stance and naruto's berserker jutsu. the fact that sasuke could not only regenerate extremely quickly and that he could reattach severed limbs was certainly surprising, it was like a combination of puppetry and medical ninjutsu, very nice. i wonder what that black stuff was that was coming from him, is it related to his curse mark? i am a little confused how uncle mina was able to interupt comunication between sasuke and orochimaru and kabuto, but hopefully that will be explained in naruto's training in his kekkai genkai. i like that you showed the effect sasuke's return had on sakura, it would be too much to expect she would feel nothing, hell naruto felt something and he had a chidori shoved through his heart! i like that you had sasuke incarcerated and at ibiki's tender mercy, i had a certain sense of satisfaction from reading about that. i thought you were just going to lop off his head. wishfull thinking i guess. finding out about naruto's kurodenkogan powers rising to dfangerous levels was certainly unexpected and it definately gave reason to having naruto go to the uzumaki's in the underworld all the quicker. i am seriously interested in what kushina was like when she was just learning how to control her powers. you keep alluding to it being scary but never showing it, its frustrating yet intriguing at the same time. ooh, forgot about the riot didn't i, whoops. i like that you had the riot, seeing naruto not only fighting at that speed, but like a berserker would DEFINATELY have given credence to those who think that the kyuubi is taking over him, seeing him fight like an animal. mob mentality was done very well in that case. i like that you had naruto have uncle mina take hinat and tsunade away for protection. it was a bit misogynistic but also understandable since he is the one who can't be hurt using his tortoise stance, not those two. i like that you had hana and naruto talk when the people were gone. it helped to understand why hana was trying to kill him. the fact that you had her be arroused by naruto was a nice touch, dogs like the alpha and he is definately one of those, in my opinion anyway. i hope that she decides against killing naruto now that she knows he had nothing to do with her brothers death. i like that you had akamaru be "adopted" by kina(?), he didn't deserve punishment for his previous masters faults. i hope she is adopted into the inuzuka clan, that would be nice. i like that you showed discension in the ranks of the secret orginisation trying to kill naruto after tsunades lie about him leaving to gain control over the kyuubi, and after finding out what Ume had been using their funding for. the assault on the anbu headquarters was definately interesting. i didn't like it, not meaning it wasn't written well, but more dobby dies in harry potter i didn't like it. i have a soft spot for anko and while the way she died was fitting, well no one likes seeing their favorites die. what happened with sakura was deplorable. i thought you wrote earlier that you wouldn't write rape scenes on acount of your friend, but it fit in a sick way, the ultimate form of betrayal. i was a bit shocked that he would do that, i got from the sasuke you created that he really regretted leaving the leaf and his "friends" so his decision to do such was very reprehensible since he wasn't forced to do it, hell he disobeyed orochimaru in FAVOR of raping her. the destruction of her reproductive organs was a twisted yet nice touch. i feel sorry for her but i hope lee's righteous fury will make up for it. LET THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN THROUGH SUCH UNYOUTHFULL SOULS! I can't really say all that much about the trip to the uzumaki clan considering how short it was. i can say i am impressed on how you came up with how uncle mina was able to "borrow" the kurodenkogan and the dangers of both emptying and overfilling the rods in him. the talk with kami was a little strange, i will admit i don't think i got most of it, though considering it was spoken by a divine being i think thats a good thing, they are SUPPOSED to be outside our understanding. i like that you showed not only another weakness of the tortoise stance but also that naruto wasn't horribly overpowered in his battle against the fake orochimaru. the fact that hinata and naruto are having 6-8 babies that may or may not be hanyou, as well as neji trying the same with tenten, i am left wondering was all his scheming just so there would be little hanyou babies running around? because that just seems very, anticlimactic. oh yeah, tsunade said that the council would enforce the CRA on naruto. honestly, i can't see how that will end well. he loves hinata and i can't see her sharing him, nor naruto wanting to seeing by his reaction to hana kissing him on the cheek. lastly i will just say, jiraiya having a split personallity was certainly surprising, and a little unnerving. i wonder what the hell a melding of the two would create. i hope to read more into that later. good story as always and whilst you answered some questions, you raised more which in my mind is the sign of a good writer. i look forward to the next 6 chapters, i hope the last isn't saying you stopped writing it.

Hmm, where to begin. Lets see, the quality of your lemons has simply skyrocketed so kudos for that. I like how you set up the cave hideout with essentially a library on anything and everything. Its good that you found a way to strengthen the tortoise stance and yet not make it impenetrable with the weak spot on his spine. I do think it should be relocated to somewhere else on the back like a shoulderblade or above a kidney or something. I dunno, where you placed it seems to highlight just ho dangerous it is to use such a stance but it just feels like you are saying yep, at one point in the future i am definately making naruto a cripple. Meh, it is a good weakness so nevermind. I like how you dealt with hiashi with the fugu poisoning. Fun fact in case you didn't know, fugu is the only food forbidden for the ruling family of japan to eat. I like that you had the duel between hiashi and naruto beforehand. The fear on hiashis face when he saw naruto using his fathers stance was priceless. I do wonder, were you suggesting hiashi tried to date kushina? I like how you made hinata stand up to her father when naruto was in danger. I am a little strange about that he was in that state as a result of neji's scheming but i understand its need. Oh woops i forgot to talk about kiba's punishment. Well done on that. I like how you lured him to the warehouse using tentens legs. The way you dealt with him, i'll admit it did make me a bit squemish but it does show just how bad of an idea screwing with hinata and naruto is where neji is involved. I do wonder what tsume and hana will think of kibas actions and his "assassination attempt" if at all they come into play in this story. I like how you had dissension in the hyuuga council, it would be too much to expect compliance with complete changes to their training structure as well as that of its political structure without some kind of proof of strength. I like that you had the fight against the councilors. I will admit, when you said at the start of the chapter that two would die i thought after neji and hinata won there fights that you would do something like i dunno, put kunais to neji and hinatas throats in case naruto won. I am really glad i was wrong, partly because i never like that situation and its just plain overused for my taste. I like that you gave neji the centipede stance, i was curious what that one would be like and i was not dissapointed. I especially like your explanation of it, though i do believe something like that would take a possitive shitload of control and stamina to use in prolonged battle so a double edged sword in my opinion. The same goes for the dance of the butterfly and the windmill stances, especially when you pointed out that the windmill could fight off an army provided they had no longranged fighters. The fact that you had the awakening of naruto's kekkai genkai happen right after was interresting. I have to admit, i really didn't understand a word of your explanation of its powers, it just sounded like the byakugan but the awakening can kill you. Aori(fana's mate, i haven't seen her name written enough times to be sure of spelling) her explanation of why naruto was in such a bad state made some kind of sense, though i'll admit i think the addition of naruto's indominatable spirit as a kekkai genkai was just done so you could have three powers warring. Mostly because you'd think if that power really did exist, wouldn't he have taken sasuke back to konoha after his defection, or is it considered a selfish reason? Never mind. I am worried about aori saying they needed to remove fana from naruto, especially since it was established thats kind of a death sentence for jinchuriki. Also, i thought he and naruto were fused or something along those lines, that was never really explained now was it. I mean, is he a hanyou or something now or what? Nevermind, what i really want to ask is, will it kill fana? I really REALLY hope not, he just got back his family. Oh yeah, i kinda skipped over tsunades adjustment of the seal. I understand the lost trust and i like that you did it, all humans are subject to mistakes. Hmm, i think i did everything there. I realise this one was certainly more filled with critisism than my last two, sorry about that. I hope i get my answers when i continue reading.

This set of 20 was definately much more enjoyable than the previous one. Especially the dark forest part. I like how you showed how hopeless it felt fighting against the zombies with their being able to put themselves back together and the dificulty hinatas standard jyuken had against them. I like that you made sure naruto's martyr scream or whatever it was called had some severe drawbacks, no one likes a TOO overpowered attack. And i like how you showed the deadly combo of the jyuken and the scorpion stance. I like how you showed fana's use of the one hour free time naruto gave him. I like the little history lesson you gave of Grin and why the myobu agreed to contract with the uzumakis. I like that you had naruto momentarily crippled for taking the hit for hinata, the whole no good deed goes unpunished thing. I am interested in this "the cripple" guy and his strange zombies, especially after it was found that other than the shell around their heart they had no bones. I keep wondering how in the hell he made them, whether they are some kind of puppet jutsu or a demon possesion. I assume he is that brother of the fourth that fana talked about, i wonder what his reaction to his nephew will be. I like how you had neji's scheming involving a wedding between naruto an hinata. I like that you had naruto talk to hinata, to tell her that her having needs isn't a bad thing at all. I like that you showed that kiba wasn't out of the picture just yet with his betrayal, i look forward to reading whatever punishment you have planned for him. I was interested in how you gave the reason for hiashi's behavior having stemmed from part of him dying with his wife, though i don't exactly believe it excuses him of his actions to his daughters, just gives an explanation. Naruto's "kidnapping" of hinata was certainly interesting especially since all narutos plans went to shit when hinata broke free from his chakra wires. The fight between them was hard to read but necessary since naruto wasn't avoiding as many hits as he should have so that he would be hurf severely and convince the doctor. I like naruto's reaction when he realised he mqy have put a little too much kyuubi chakra into his slap and dhe activelt tried to kill him thinking he was her father. I am interested to see what she will act like when she meets her father again considering what they just did behind his back. I like that you explained the time gap in the datk forest with cumo's powers rather than the dark forest itself, i felt it already had alot going for it with the extreme low visability and almost unkillable zombies. I like that you had the "six interruptions before mating" thing happen, i actually wonder if you chucked some interruptions in there like the ground floor bathroom incident just so you could get to that number. I like that you didn't have hinata go all the way with naruto when she broke her hymen, it wouldn't have fit her personality to rape her husband while he was unconcious. I like that you made hinata into a bit of a closet pervert, that was pretty funny to see. The final lemon and the introduction of the hide away in the first hokages head were very good, especially kushina and minato's reasons for putting the base there being that the first was a bit empty headed. Now off to read the next 20, i hope they are as good as these were

Decided to start reviewing every 20 chaps, i once tried reviewing after 147 chaps and that just plain hurt my head to do. I like how you have shown why naruto was so interested in a relationship so he wouldn't be alone anymore with his spying on the happy couple. I like how you had neji be a schemer of sorts, and for once not of the political kind. I like how you set up naruto being sure hinata likes him, i am curious though what fana has planned for his one hour free time piloting naruto's body. The naruto you portrayed seems a bit more hot headed than i would like, but i think thats just because of the fics i have been reading lately showing him differently. I like how you showed naruto clearly falling in love with hinata and yet not being sure because of the absense of love in his life so far. I like how you set up naruto and hinata's first encounter, it was incredibly cute yet noble considering the state naruto was in at the time. I am curious as to who this other hyuuga is that was implied to have hugged him before seeing as how hinata's little mind walk in naruto's head didn't happen till after that memory was recounted. I like how you dealt with ino being a masochist at heart, certainly interesting. I am a little worried what neji has planned for naruto and hinata, i dunno i just feel like he has an ulterior motive in mind. I like how you had naruto and hinata starting off there relationship slowly, after all he only recently started admitting to himself his feelings for her. The way naruto acted embarassed whenever he had an erection was pretty funny, especially his mad dash to the pool when she was trying to get him in bed. The pool incident was pretty interesting and a good way to introduce hinata as a medic in your story considering as far as i know in canon she wasn't at this time. The hinata you have shown is interesting, in that she seems less stalkerish an more love struck. I like this,that wasn't a complaint. What you have shown in kiba is very worrying, especially considering how he acted after he had to clean up his dogs shit. I found it funny that after naruto was agreeing to make love to hinata they were continuosly interrupted. I like that you showed tht everyone has a breaking point in his raging at sakura after she hit him as he walked past her. The naruto that you showed seems to be EXTREMELY dependent on hinata at the moment, going into a near death state simply because she didn't let him kiss her. I realise now that there was more going on inside his head but when you first read it it just feels i dunno, pathetic considering what he has gone through so far. I like how you structured hinatas little mind walk, especially the multitude of staircases showing his unstable state of mind. I like that it showed hinata kind of repairing all the major wrongs in his life in different ways. I like that you had ino and sakura having a taste of what his life had been like and their reactions to it. I hope they can be trusted, even if the are the villages foremost gossipmongers. Lastly, i can't say i agree with neji's talk of sex being the way to make a guy love you, especially when it looks like he manipulated tenten into having sex with the prospect of losing him. I dunno, i just keep going from "neji's a kind cousin and good friend" to "neji's a manipulative bastard". I dunno,i hope he is better in future chapters. I'll review again in 20 chapters time

GROSS AS FUk!

hi i have a story I would like you to review and comment on its called whats this hinata by me

I've reread this twice now and personaly i relly love your work and i dicided to right som famfiction my self thanks your a big inspration

A good pairing could have been hanabi/konahamaru and it could be like a opasit hinata naruto thing konahamaru could like hanabi but hanabi doesnt notice ps im not the best speller

It was kinda sad in a way but sweet

I have just read these 86 chapters of this story in a 2 day time span and I have to say you are the best writer of fan fiction I have found. Every thing I have read have been good stories that no one has bothered to finish and it has disappointed me greatly. I am so glad to finally try to finish.I look forward to reading the end of this story and praising you on your accomplishments and leaving critique on anything I find lacking although I have not been disappointed yet! Thank you for the wonderful story and keep up the good work

Your profile picture is so fuckin ugly bro

personally I really like the whole Book although I did skip a part or two ! Your a really good wrighter u should keep going and make a story on one of the other characters like kakashi sorry I can't spell. But ya so keep going this is really good

OK so I really like all the work UV done although I skip the hinti it was really cool! I reely like the whole thing but my fav part when Naruto and uncle fight its reminds me of when I was young. Keep going your really good at this u should pe a pro any way can't wait for next chapter