|Reviews for The Mission|
| Calebros chapter 1 . 7/6
the story is not bad, but the characters are boring and/or totally cliché.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/28/2015
Harry seems so much like a Gary Stu in here, like he does not have any weaknesses at all. He is an ambassador, a person who must promote peace between two places, and yet he failed to show any respect at all towards Dumbledore or those who anger him a little, using his power to act arrogant and push others in doing whatever he likes. That was not mature of him. Also, I believe that you, the writer, should have added more personality to each girl to distinguish them and retain their original characteristics. They all seemed like the same person when they have dialogues, and that's not good.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/7/2015
This is my favorite action type story. QI just love it, and keep coming back again and again. Thank you!
| dhh chapter 1 . 8/3/2015
I do hate that you included that ABUSIVE,MANIPULATIVE, PINK WHORE! YUCK!
I'm glad that you INCLUDED Luna thou and REFUSED that knowitallwhore also!
| EliaEnoa chapter 1 . 6/29/2015
Fun little read, entertaining enough to force me to see what else you have done
| macdjord chapter 1 . 6/3/2015
*sigh* Decent idea, nice little feel-good power romp - but what the /heck/ were you going for with Dumbledore? What the heck is his motivation supposed to be? Or is he /supposed/ to be acting like a total bloody moron?
Okay, so Harry grows up elsewhere, powerful an independent, and Dumbledore wants to drag Harry back into his machinations, whether he likes it or not, right? So why does it seem like he's going out of his way to annoy and alienate Harry at every opportunity?
Take the name. Dumbledore wants to establish the kind of grandfatherly rapport he had with Canon!Harry, so he speaks softly and calls Harry by his given name. But why would he keep trying that after it became obvious that it was just irritating him? If he didn't want to acknowledge Harry's title, he could at least use 'Mr. Potter' (which, incidentally, is what Canon!Dumbledore uses in public anyway) - it would even be defensible; whatever Harry's titles in Konoha, he is not a member of the British peerage.
Or the thing with the lake hostage. Harry had publicly threatened to /kill/ Dumbledore if he went through with that. Even if Dumbledore didn't believe Harry could do so, he had to have known it would irredeemably mark him as an enemy in Harry's mind. What did he think he would get out of it? How did he think it would help? He could have just walked up to Naruto and /asked/ him to volunteer, saying that the tournament required it, and if it was him then the girls would be safe.
Dumbledore also manages to consistently exert his authority just enough to piss Harry off without actually going far enough to have a hope of winning - even when he's in the right. "I don't care what Konoha law says. You are not in Konoha, you are in Britain, and you do /not/ have the automatic right to challenge judges to a Death duel if you disagree with their scoring." "While your desire to defend your friend's honour is admirable, Mr. Potter, British law does not consider childish nicknames as ground for homicide. If you follow through on that threat you /will/ be turned over to the Aurors and tried for murder." "Ambassador, you say? Well, that certainly changes things - if you'll just present your diplomatic credentials, then, because I'm afraid the foreign office seems to have lost the copies they must have received."
Basically, instead of Dumbledore being a character, who has goals and flaws and acts accordingly, you've turned him into an automaton mindlessly repeating whichever canon behaviour would most piss Harry off - regardless of whether it is appropriate in any way to the situation he is actually in. And that turns what could be a descent fic into a farce.
| Deathmvp chapter 1 . 5/13/2015
Great story here. I loved it.
| gearworks of ff chapter 1 . 4/24/2015
Japanese style for speed and story
smooth flow and a good read
little overpowered but not unreasonably so
(at least compared to various games)
keep it up
| xenomorphlover4321 chapter 1 . 12/30/2014
best one shot harry potter naruto story i have read in six years
| noreenklose chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
I enjoyed it.
Thanks for writing.
| XXDD Smiles chapter 1 . 3/9/2014
wow, I really enjoyed this story! Great job! XD XD XD
| mhjhhk chapter 1 . 3/2/2014
great story, thank you
| Redtrubble chapter 1 . 1/21/2014
this story is awesome
| Unicornkatt chapter 1 . 11/11/2013
Type your review here...
| ravenousreader chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
Awesome story. Keep up the good work.