|Reviews for The Cold|
| Serinidia chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
I usually don't like first person stories, but hey...
... I said usually1
I liked this story alot and I noticed that we both reviewed for one of Denise V's stories at-almost-the same time today! Keep up the great work!
| morgan5318 chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
This is an interesting premise; I'm glad to see you chose this episode to expand. You've got a good grasp of the character, and the story follows the episode very well. Thing is, we don't see much beyond what happened in the episode, or of Jake's internal thoughts. It's a great start on that, but it feels like you pulled back at the last moment. The story just screams for more!
I'd really like to see you delve just a bit deeper into what happened in Iraq. I got the impression you wanted to, but might've been just a bit afraid to go beyond canon. Go deeper and tap Jake's untold story. You've got a good grasp on his character, and a good command of language, and I have a feeling you'd tell a good story. Go for it.