|Reviews for Flawed Perfection|
| CodyElvis chapter 11 . 11/25/2011
Your characters have a profound sense of integrity. I had hoped you would stay in character (or at least what I perceived as character from canon), but didn't expect you to be able to through the experiences Eragon and Arya shared. Going into this last chapter, I was half-expecting to find that Arya would give up her duty for her heart, while at the same time praying that she didn't - for I don't believe it is in her character to do so - and you did not disappoint. I think you commented at some point that Arya's character is unapproachable even for the writer. If I may, I believe that you have come as close as possible to portraying the Arya that CP had in mind, and that you have given those of us who are intrigued with her character much more than CP did to work with.
Beyond your spectacular character development in the present of the story, I also relish Arya's childhood stories you tell at the beginnings of many chapters. I believe there's nothing quite like story to captivate both the mind and heart, especially stories of children. There's a reason memorable Disney stories capture their heroes in their youth. We see the characters at their most vulnerable and impressionable, and they endear themselves to us time and again.
The swan story that preludes Flying is a marvelous example of bringing a moment alive to us. Your lush, descriptive language ("on the playful chase of a butterfly in brilliant colours of dark blue and gold, her green eyes sparkling, wide with delight") gives us, as readers, an amazing opportunity to experience the same moment Arya does, letting us draw our own conclusions about her character instead of directly telling us your interpretation. This, I contend, may be the key to captivating characters. A character which the reader sees from many different perspectives, but one that is never told about; we only get to see her, interact with her, even feel her - but we are not told, and must use our imaginations to construct her for ourselves based on what you've shown us. It's so beautiful when you can evoke so much raw emotion in a reader - I noticed that the swan's death affected her in the same capacity as her father's death; this is the quintessential representation of something small, even irrelevant, that still means the entire world to someone because of the intimacy that someone shares with it in its last moments before passing nto the void.
Your narration partially makes me think to Hemingway's tight, precise prose. At times though, there's also a very welcoming stream of consciousness that you pass along to us, pointing out something that perhaps should have intuitively obvious. For example, in Chapter 4, Insight, the young Arya is talking to Oromis, the last two lines go as such, "'Yes, I cold have.' His tone ... insert consciousness here ... 'But would you have accepted my help?'" Hemingway would have jumped straight from the first statement to the second, perhaps a slight pause in between, letting us interpret what we would of the white space. I think I would have come to the very same conclusion you point out in Arya's consciousness, had it not been there - a testament to your ability to bring me to the scene and truly understand her.
I noticed somewhere (I think) that English is not your native language? If so, I am doubly impressed at what you've done here - although I am acutely aware of the disturbing discrepancy between the Europeans' skills at English and Americans' skills at any language but English, having a first-hand experience with an exchange student program. There's a few semantic and grammar mistakes throughout the piece, but they were easily passed over and did not detract from the overall effect one slight bit. Did you know that "all right' is the only correct way of saying whatever we mean to say when we say "alright"? Haha, just something I noticed pop up quite a few times.
This has been an amazing read and I do hope that you will finish it sometime.
| Guest chapter 11 . 9/10/2011
great i think that the idea of looking at arya then eragon was smart love th concept
| Someone chapter 11 . 8/28/2011
Damn, this is a depressing story. Well, time to go slit my wrists again. D
| A Changing Persona chapter 11 . 7/27/2011
Oh, huzzah! The Dark Tide! Woot!
Obiviosly, I love Tides that are Dark[I faintly remember some other story that had Drak Tides in it...weird.
| chris chapter 11 . 6/9/2011
yo PLEASE update again soon!
| 0.0 chapter 2 . 6/3/2011
Wie ghet es Ihnen, muthafucka? Schreiben!
Or whatever it is. I forgot most of my Deutsch.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
Yo. You writing or not?
| chris chapter 11 . 4/24/2011
CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE IS THERE A POSSIBLE DATE YET?
| chris chapter 10 . 4/24/2011
the last poart was awesome! now hey im no perv. i mean it wasent overdone or underdone like the other storys iv read
| chris chapter 9 . 4/24/2011
love them all
| just-me-the-lonely-reader chapter 11 . 3/31/2011
Keep up the great work, can't wait for the next update.
only problem I have see so far is king Orrins explosion(I think it was a little OOC), but I guess we can't always be spot on. Keep writing it's been great so far.
-just me the lonely
| coolkitty154 chapter 11 . 3/28/2011
AH! i cant believe you just left us hanging there! beautifully written story, i honestly loved it. please update soon! (:
| peach-kitten chapter 11 . 3/21/2011
You haven't updated in a while and i was wondering if you're still continueing the story...?
| RJ chapter 1 . 3/20/2011
it was awesome well done i enjoyed it :) :) :) :)
| The Meepsta chapter 11 . 2/1/2011
Brilliant! I loved the way you made Arya