|Reviews for Equal|
| Shirakawa Myself chapter 2 . 5/11/2008
I really can't think how this will turn out, so I guess that means you are doing a good job keeping us clueless! I love this story btw ]
| Shirakawa Myself chapter 1 . 5/11/2008
This is a really original story, at least it seems to me, and well-written so I can follow the plot! Hooray!
| Kuma-cchi chapter 3 . 5/6/2008
Oh wow oh wow, lovely chapter. I can't believe I put off reading this just cuz of work. Damn :P This made my day.
At the end, when Tamaki talks to Kyouya through his phone, that was a brilliant idea. Good thing you put it in, and I was really impressed with the mastery with which u handled Kyouya and Tamaki's friendship.. which seems to be hanging by a very thin thread.
But the recorded phone call at the end was marvellous, really. It also shows just how well Tamaki knows Kyouya, just how much, how deeply he cares about his friend. I'd really love for you to not make this into a yaoi, because somehow, Tamaki and Kyouya are just.. i dunno.. "better off" as friends. Their bond is stronger than romance.
“But Tamaki almost always sounded the same.”
This line was really good. A perfect sketch of Tamaki for who he is.
Errm, this may sound weird, but, at the end of the chapter, did Tamaki mean that he would go on competing against Kyouya? And that he trusted Kyouya to fight for it too? Or..?
| Adi88 chapter 3 . 5/1/2008
“Can I reduce my time in the Club after school.”
- Because we all know what it’s for - obviously he’s not avoiding Kyouya; wouldn’t have to if he wanted to because Kyouya is doing it for him by not being there even when they’re in the same room. So it’s because he wants to study, because neither of them are giving on this, and just ack. Having to ask Kyouya. The power dynamics between those two with the Club are interesting enough to begin with, but that is such a thing to have to run through the metal detector, as it were.
And with Kyouya sitting there all paperwork loaded… god, this is truly exquisite. Because it has to feel bad, but also… if Kyouya’s on overload, it gives Tamaki a fighting chance, and that just can’t not enter his mind at all, even though he’s doubtless far more conscious of just plain feeling bad because he’s about the most lovely human being ever.
Ah, Tamaki’s agonies… so horrible. Rather like he’s afraid Kyouya WILL think he’s avoiding him.
“Their matching grins implied many, many things.”
- Partially because the Twins arriving always mean good - or at least interesting - things, and partially because that is an awesome sentence.
“…developed for dealing with former-business-owners.”
- He is so incredibly wonderful. And horrid.
“We’ve had this discussion.”
- Win. So much of it.
“Lost us our bet.”
- Oh god. Because you just know then. I mean, yeah, you’ve read this to me, so I know they tied, but this gives you the sick oh-shit-he-lost feeling, mixed in with oh-good-Tamaki-won, and is just in general mean.
“No, Hikaru. Remember? I entered us in other pools, too.”
- But that kind of helps the wound.
“We’re exploring the tactic of outflanking people.”
- And that is terrifying, in an Ogg kind of way - you depend on them being focused inward, because Jesus, when they start pointing outways… they could RULE THE WORLD.
“Like maybe you and Tamaki are collaborating to get the kind of scores you did?”
- And those two are so beautiful and adorable in that moment, I could crush them. And then… “Or maybe not.” …possibly smack Kyouya. Because I HOPED, damnit.
“Because he was listening for it, Kyouya noted that Hikaru entered a fraction later than Kaoru.”
- Ah, our boys…
“I read the same results. Considerably earlier than first period today.”
- Because he has L33T hacker skillz. It is awesome.
“Stop it. Leave him alone.”
- If anything makes me cry today despite it being a very good day, it will be this. Because the Twins are being, in their way, sweet - I mean, they’re only concerned inasmuch as it affects them, but it’s still twistedly sweet that it does affect them at all - but it’s still picking at a sucking chest wound, and Tamaki is so damn noble it’s not even funny. Also the King, so they have to obey him, at least to his face.
Then the ending of that scene. Darn. Never mind. That is… tearworthy in a large way, and I’d have to drag the whole thing, but crap, Kyouya is so frecking evil. I mean, I get it, I do, but… evil. No. Tamaki. NOT ON.
And I fall in love all over again at the fact that Kyouya’s set his Da’s ring to a “dying bleat”.
“He wasn’t only agreeing because it was required, but because anything that Father thought would interest him was either good or bad, but seldom anywhere in between.”
- Something about that logic appeals to me.
“You’re dismissed. Study.”
- Congratulations. The Dadinator has just joined the ranks of only about five people in fiction to ever make me truly angry specifically at them. Usually I get sad or don’t like the way it’s written, or something, but I tend to focus on - say in this instance - the Kyouya of the piece, with a little side-thought for ‘okay, well, the Dad is only doing X because of Y.’ Or just become horribly conflicted. But really. NO. I mean, even Tamaki’s grandmother, even later - what she’s doing is worse, and more deliberate, so I don’t know how to explain it. But this really makes me want to hit someone. The arrogance and insensitivity and… just ASSUMING… damnit.
“Something hot and dangerous flared in Kyouya’s chest…Then he went to finish his math homework and study, because Father had ordered it.”
- And that just compounds it.
“Their consent was right in article 13, section 3, of the cursory contract each of them signed to become members.”
- This heals a lot of wounds, though, because he is a Magnificent Bastard.
“But Tamaki almost always sounded the same.”
- Because he is that awesome and deliberate.
“The best. Not one of the best.”
- Although that comes damn close before being derailed by an intense desire to hug Tamaki. This is just not his… god. How is he handling this?
“Then, he said, ‘Kyouya,’ ”
- Utter squealing fangirl moment. They are so evenly matched in such different ways.
“But Tamaki spoke again, and Kyouya remembered that Tamaki put very little store by statistical probability.”
- Just… yes.
“I can’t… won’t… I can’t keep asking.”
- Nonnono why does everything always get so screwed UP.
“He tapped the touchpad, and the entire conversation never happened.”
- Mn. Kyouya. Wishful thinking.
“I trust you.
- And he has to. Therein lies our problem.
| Maskelle chapter 3 . 4/20/2008
Oh this is so sad. Poor Tamaki and Kyouya. I do love how the twins try to do something about it. Loved it and cant wait for the next chapter!
| Paon chapter 3 . 4/15/2008
some of this chapter didnt make total sense to me but it was a good update. i feel sorry for Tamaki
| Paon chapter 2 . 3/26/2008
great story! i love it so far. i cant wait for another update.
| Maskelle chapter 2 . 3/24/2008
This is a nasty situation to get them both out. I like this story and I cant wait for the next chapter!
| twilightpath chapter 2 . 3/19/2008
I like how you write the siblings' conversation, it seems plausible. I will be stalking you down for updates...
| twilightpath chapter 1 . 3/19/2008
Ooh~ Evil grandma. This is a very good first chapter. Mhmm. *nods head*
| Adi88 chapter 2 . 3/16/2008
The triumphant return! Possibly. A return, anyway. Maybe I’ll save adjectives for later. Reviewing now.
Oh, Tamaki. Not fair. There he’s already not talking to Kyouya - or rather Kyouya’s not talking to him - and then… well. I mean, he already has to do all the work in the Host-ish conversations, and now here he is with the normal ones too. And it’s not like he can just skip out on conversations, because he is Tamaki, and would probably curl up in a corner and wither away if he wasn’t getting attention.
“But all good things must come to an end.”
- And I don’t know if that’s more upsetting because it’s NOT GOOD DAMNIT or because it possibly means that it’s better than what’s coming.
Oh, I like that. Tamaki’s mask-switching. Got Kyouya’s attention and then… back behind the curtain. Pay no attention! Although he mayn’t have calculated it out like that. Being Tamaki. No, now with the whispering, maybe he did.
I adore how they’re girls and then when Tamaki bows to them they’re “princesses”, because vaguely-Kyouya POV aside, he knows that’s what Tamaki’s thinking… and this is chapter two, so there’s just no chance anything good or resolving-like is going to come of this so I kind of want to make them stop…
As much as I know it’s killing Kyouya in a glacial kind of way, the blocking and screening… Tamaki is going to be so deeply crushed by every time, it’s just not… damnit. You are so many different kinds of evil.
“Tamaki opened the door and stepped back to let Kyouya go in first, treating him like a client.”
- Because Tamaki in pacifist, getting-his-way mode equals using some standard tricks… and it makes me think of something else you wrote, when they were in the car, I think, and… just something about Kyouya not liking it when Tamaki does that.
“…watching his friend with a downward twist to his mouth that wasn’t nearly on-purpose enough to be a pout.”
- Because that’s just pretty and well-described.
“We can’t do this. We can’t. It’s not going to work.”
- Yes! Thank you! “I mean, I rather think he’s got the ability. He could indeed be the greatest. But he never will be… He doesn’t want to do it. The truth is, he wants to go home.” Merlin is sometimes just appropriate for all occasions. Read ‘home’ as ‘back to the way things were’ and stuff.
“We both have the ability.”
- Ha! Same word! Also, GOD DAMN YOU. Can does not equal should, Kyouya. Elementary ethical thing, there. Especially when your best friend is… only then your dad is… DAMNIT.
“We both need this too much to surrender.”
“Kyouya, I won’t let this happen!”
- And those two lines just… do it. For both of them. The surrender one especially makes me melt all over for Kyouya. And Tamaki’s determination is so hopeless and so very much what I’m basing all of my hopes on. And then… “…because Kyouya would.” Let it happen. Because it’s wrenching and awful, but, well. Sometimes things are just that bad, and on the scale of priorities, nasty decisions get made. Plus… well. Kyouya can kind of afford to make decisions like that, because Tamaki will save him from them. Although not from having made them in the first place…
The LIGHT. I am having a love affair with the way you write about light. And also with Haruhi, because she is awesome and there are shoes involved. And the whole conversation… but oh my, especially “…though he noted with some satisfaction that her time as a host was manifesting in order to manipulate.” That’s what gets him to cave. Level ground. Manipulation. That and… well. It is Haruhi.
“Kyouya was finishing his history essay, slipping it into his backpack with too many textbooks to sneak a few study breaks during class.”
- Study breaks… during class. I think I kind of want to marry this man, or I would if I were Tamaki. Yay Fuyumi, though!
“Considerably worse than the last time you asked me that.”
- Because that’s lovely, and starkly jarring right after the way Tamaki and Haruhi both had to put on those hats with lights on and grab picks and go mining in order to get a… more honest kind of ‘do not enter’ sign. And at the same time, this entire chapter is so perfect from a literary-device perspective because, while Kyouya is being a bastard, the fact that he’s still worth the effort is made plenty clear by the fact that various smart and lovely people are all over themselves to make him get it together.
Plus, without ever saying it, it’s plain that Fuyumi has some serious clout with her li’l brother.
“I’m thinking of the wrong thing. I must have gotten confused, because I thought Tamaki was that lovely boy. The blond one, from France?”
- …I’m going to curl up in a hole somewhere and cry now.
Her eyes were the same shade as his, but she made them much warmer.
- And then earlier, Kyouya’s being calmer than Tamaki’s… I dunno. Just good. And frustrating for everyone trying to get through to him.
And with “I won’t” on the dad. I hate and adore so very much how… I mean, beyond their control, yes, but in the way that’s because they do rank other things above each other, and I love that. It’s… mature and sad and heartache-inducing.
“She sat up straight and looked towards his wide windows, trying to distance herself from the conversation because she knew that she was too empathetic for her bother’s good.”
- Just like you said! Because then she would get sad for him and he’d have to see how sad he could be letting himself be and be sad for her and it would all get messy, and she’s so wonderful at balancing this entire horrid thing.
And then being so much colder when she’s gone… lovely. Like, because she does help, but then she has to go. Not little any longer, and all that.
“Don’t we all.”
- Somehow, that just about breaks my heart for him. I mean, he is having an awful time of it to start with, and then everyone else tries to help and just mostly… dumps the fact that everyone else is having a hard time on him too. Which they are, and he should feel guilty - except… well. Fresh wounds. I don’t know. Crap.
You are magnificent.
“Considerably worse than the last time you ask me that.” -askED
“…when girls were trying to overcome the weekend withdrawal symptoms, in the form of boot heels marching angrily up. to contront the vice president.” misplaced period, and then it should be “confront”.
“Kyouya, don’t. You’re like this.”
- …Possibly. Should that be “NOT like this” or am I misinterpreting? It actually would be rather neat if the “not” doesn’t go there, but just in case, because I’m wrestling with what he means.
| Mimi chapter 2 . 3/9/2008
I'm sure I've said before (and that you've seen) that I'm not good at praising things I like or love and/or don't even know what about them it is that makes me like or love them (everything!)- I don't have your and Adi's talent in that area, but suffice it to say that your fanfiction is up there with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. :D (It's an honor... in my house, at least.) And this is one's no exception! Also, your drabbles are wonderful but it's so great to have more of it to read! Plus there's the fact that it's for ME! Which just makes me grin. :D (See?) I'm very touched. And still grinning.
So, anyway, however non-eloquent of a thank you it is, thank you!
And I hope this week is a much better one than last.
| Hillary chapter 2 . 3/9/2008
Yay a new chapter! Please update again soon. With more yaoi? XD
| loretta537 chapter 2 . 3/8/2008
this sounds good, why dont they just tie for being first?
| Adeptis chapter 2 . 3/8/2008