|Reviews for St Valentine Was On Something|
| Killer Moth chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
Compared to the past two stories of this lovely saga, it's quite nice to have a breather like this. Honestly, your narration, dialogue and flow speak for themselves, so I'll simply address some minor issues.
1. You're definitely improving on your body language. With a few more attempts under your belt, you'll have a strong grasp on the concept. It's a vast improvement from where you started with the schoolgirl piece.
2. Nice job on the additional little details/descriptions within the narration. Well done, there. Admittedly, it was curious to see the lack thereof regarding Jack's meal, but it's not always the detail - it's the effort. Of course, that's also the theme of the story. Besides, after the descriptions of the last fare (the costume party one), why be overly meticulously?
3. Your observations on both Cutter and Connie were spot on, along with Jack and Abbie's evolving characters - there was a great deal of truth within. I would have went further in a Connie/Abbie comparison, but what you spotted on Connie was perfect as is. Also, great touch on the workaholic theme, in a more realistic/constructive sense (something fanfic should spotlight more often with those two).
4. You definitely have lovely banter in your works, but it's the first time I ever seen you used the technique so overtly. You do have a knack, or the gift, or whatever compliment I can send your way. Heh.
It's a lovely Valentine's Day story, and I wish more can be like this: drama in the purest sense. Don't stop now.
| The Mind's Eye chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
very cute. Loved the banter.