|Reviews for Dreamscape|
| ANGELofMUSICval chapter 1 . 7/6/2008
Terrific story! Very poignant and true. Great writing!
| Starfire201 chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
A rather poignant story you have here. It truly makes you think in regards to the choices you make in life. I was reminded too, of a line from a song I heard, "Though I was there, he died alone". That certainly fit the character in this story, just changed the pronoun. Well written.
| LasseLanta01 chapter 1 . 3/20/2008
Very nice job with this, Swifty. What irony you infused with the last line. Raphael did not know her and yet his parting words sum up her own final thoughts about a sad life, and a sad event.
| piewacket chapter 1 . 3/15/2008
This was amazing. I have to say that I was dubious about a Ninja Turtle fic. ;)
But, you did a frikkin awesome job with your OC and her thoughts as she died. All of it was great, but some standouts:
/Like dreams, certain memories seemed to evaporate with time./
/Maybe sobriety frightened her or maybe it was the sight of a lone, hollow bottle that she hated./
Your choice of last line for the story was perfection.
| AC2 chapter 1 . 3/12/2008
My goodness, what a bleak tale! The self-inflicted loneliness is painful to read because it is true to life - you reap what you sow. The contrast between the thing that could have saved her before she lost her parents and joined the Foot - compassion, and the selfish callousness that cost her everything is stark and well-presented.
Even though no specific violent acts were mentioned, the references to them make this all the more compelling to read, because it makes your imagination fill in the blanks. Nice work. :D
Heads up: watch out for those annoying it's (contraction of it is) and its (that which belongs to it). An ally is a friend, an alley is a short, narrow thoroughfare between buildings.
Paramedic's shouts - one paramedic was shouting. Paramedics' shouts - two or more paramedics were shouting.
I nitpick. ;P
| Vividus chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
It's angsty... I like angst?
The girl, Joan, seemed a bit emo at first.
Good luck with the Challenge!
| Zippie chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
You already know I love this, but I thought it deserved a review! :) This is so sad and poignant... very touching. I really felt for Joan. Even though this is all we know about her, she comes across as a real person, not just a character. :)
Great job, swifty. :)
| G4M3R chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
Absolutely beautiful! This oneshot is excellent! I can't believe no one else reviewed it! Brilliant. :) It made me cry.