Reviews for A New Beginning
St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 2/3/2010
Interesting opening, you seem to be good at description. We're off to a good start.

However, grammar is an important part of any story, so I'll tell you when you make grammar mistakes. For example, you wouldn't capitalize words like thief or human, so you shouldn't capitalize words like rogue or elf. I know the game does, but video games tend to have wonky grammar and capitalize random things. Class and species names are not proper nouns.

Also, dialog is written with a comma at the end when you're making a statement, since "He/She said" is not a complete sentence, for example. So it should be "'Shh, Lyssana,' an older elf, her mother, warned." The only time you end dialog with periods is when the speaking verb comes first, like "He said, 'Hello.'"

Titles aren't proper nouns either. Don't capitalize "Queen".

Other than that, interesting. Your description skills are good, and the story seems intriguing so far. (And the elven girl is acting in-character from what we know of elves from the game, since they all just want to relax and have fun) I'll continue reading later. I'm sorry if this review sounded harsh, I wasn't trying to flame or mock your story, I'm honestly trying to help.