Reviews for The Lost Sister
MiniCinnamon99 chapter 7 . 9/5/2013
I found it! I found it! Whether it was intentional or not I found a quote from PotC and I luv it! it's one of my favourites!

"I tell the truth a lot, actually." Jonathan replied, indignant, "Yet people are always surprised."

LUV IT!
LillyoftheNile chapter 10 . 4/25/2013
I can't wait to read your next installment. Keep up the good work!
Fangirl-Karla chapter 10 . 9/30/2012
I am completely un love with this story! It deserves to be adapted on screen! I really mean it :)
Lyrical Ballads chapter 10 . 9/15/2012
Wow, I can't believe it's over! This was a great chapter, full of wonderful character dynamics and brilliant dialogue, as always.

As far as finales go, I think you did a spectacular job. Starting the chapter with Christmas was fun and it provided a nice, satisfying resolution to all the various family issues you've raised throughout the story. I love the fact that Kit isn't the only one who belongs to the O'Connell family; Katrina belongs as well, and I adore her relationship with Jonathan. Kit and Ardeth's relationship is sweet, but Jonathan getting the girl is definitely the best.

I also love all the fun details you included in this chapter, like Jonathan and the orange peels. And Izzy getting a parrot! That is hilarious. I kinda hoped Izzy would show up in the end, but oh well.

The backstory scene with Amunet and Nefertiri was really interesting. I like how Amunet tried to stop Imhotep (and it makes sense, because I like to think that there was SOMEBODY out there who was like, "Imhotep, this is a stupid plan! Don't do it!") and it's fascinating how Amunet ultimately sold out her father. It's sad because Amunet was just trying to do the right thing and had NO idea that Imhotep would fall victim to the Hom-dai curse.

Oh, and it was great that you included another casino scene! Because Jonathan as a casino owner is the best thing ever. I would gladly read a story consisting entirely of Jonathan's casino antics. (Hmm, a spin-off, perhaps?) Anyway, I'm really sad that this story is over, but I really enjoyed reading it and look forward to the sequel! :)
guest chapter 10 . 9/15/2012
Such a lovely story! I really liked the plot you came up with, and Kit's reasons for accepting the deal. It all unfolded so very nicely and I liked how you referred to bits and pieces of the movies here and there. Plus, Kit is a very sweet person - and most of all very believable and human. Many sister-fics tend to give Rick a rather exceptional relative. Strong, smart, better than him in a few ways; yet your Kit is nothing but a lovely young woman who fits perfectly into this family.
And I liked Katrina and Aamir, too. Haha, such fun to read him complaining about that he doesn't get paid enough for such adventure.
Really, a very entertaining story that stayed true to the characters and could pretty well have served as a new part of the films. Well done.
ActingLovingAardvark chapter 10 . 9/14/2012
Oh wow, I loved this story so much! I cannot wait for the sequel :) I'll be putting you on Author Alert ;) Great job!
ActingLovingAardvark chapter 9 . 9/11/2012
I'm liking the relationship between Kit and Ardeth ;) Update soon!
Lyrical Ballads chapter 9 . 9/11/2012
Aamir is fantastic in this chapter. He's fantastic in every chapter, but he really made me smile in this particular update. I love his passion for camels.

And Jonathan and chest hair! That never gets old.

I'm really glad that Kit had a major talk with Rick and Evy, because even though they've been through a lot together on their trip to the desert, Rick and Kit don't really know each other at all, and it's great that Rick is finally learning some more about Kit. Kit's withdrawn behavior and awkwardness with the family makes the situation more realistic too.

Another nice realistic touch (and kind of a relief, to be honest) is the fact that Kit doesn't really know Latin. It makes her more human and sets her apart from all the cliches that come with so many OCs out there.

I love Kit's backstory, by the way. And I'm more curious than ever about Amunet!
ActingLovingAardvark chapter 8 . 9/5/2012
Wow, this story is FANTASTIC! I love it! It doesn't even seem like FanFiction, it's that good. I kinda wished this story could have been a movie or something - I would have paid to see it! :) This story flows well, and it is accurate in terms of following The Mummy Returns. Can't WAIT for you to update!
Lyrical Ballads chapter 8 . 9/4/2012
Whoa, what an intense chapter! I definitely did not see any of this coming.

Kit and Shafek's relationship is an interesting one and it's fun learning more about Kit, since I've been so curious about her the whole time. Though there's still so much about her that I'm STILL curious about, so I'm hoping for more backstory!

I thought the Legionnaire skeletons were a nice touch. It's interesting how Rick was fighting the bodies of men he probably served with back in 1923, and it's also pretty clever how the skeletons are similar to the mummies that pop up in Hamunaptra in the first film. Definitely a clever idea!

I also love how Katrina was the one who brought Kit back to life. Katrina is great. Though I'm wondering if the belt also cured Kit of her malaria, since Kit told Rick "I'll die of malaria if not from the knife." Is she going to end up dying from malaria or did the belt miraculously save her? I want to know so badly!

Oh, and Aamir is definitely my favorite character. Can't wait for more!
Lyrical Ballads chapter 7 . 9/3/2012
I was going to review this ages ago, but I had the busiest weekend ever, so here's my late review!

I can't get over how well you write Jonathan. This part right here is SO him: "Jonathan was keeping himself busy by offering unwanted advice to whoever would listen." And the Arabic diggers are laughing at him. I just love it.

Also I don't think I've mentioned this before, but you do a really good of writing scenes that contain multiple characters. I always struggle writing scenes containing more than two characters, but you've got scene upon scene with SEVERAL characters interacting with each other and you pull it off really well. I envy your skills!

And wow, the character of Shafek is a great addition to the story. And it looks like Kit IS Amunet, as well as Imhotep's daughter! Such a great plot twist. The whole last part of the chapter is fascinating and I look forward to more!
Lyrical Ballads chapter 6 . 8/30/2012
Another great chapter!

I normally don't care for dream sequences, but you've handled Evy's dreams really well. Plus she actually does have dreams in the movie, so it fits! I like how you've taken the basic plot of Evy's movie-dreams and added Amunet to the story, though I'm burning with curiosity about this strange character! Is Amunet actually Kit? Is Imhotep Kit's father? This is so crazy!

I wonder how Rick fits into all of this. Oh, and Jonathan! I've always wandered if Jonathan had a past life, but now I feel like I'm getting off topic. (Though the idea of Jonathan having a past life is a fun one.)

Speaking of Jonathan, I'm so curious about his relationship with Katrina. Are they friends? Something a little more? I always love seeing Jonathan get the girl, so I'm rooting for him to woo Katrina (if he hasn't done so already)!

I enjoyed the scene with Kit and Ardeth a lot more than I thought I would. Mainly because Ardeth is... well, not my favorite, but I really love the way you write him. You do such a great job of making him interesting (instead of just a handsome face for the female characters to fawn over) and his interactions with Kit are great.

And aha! I knew there was something suspicious about Kit! I can't wait to read the next chapter to find out what happens next.
Lyrical Ballads chapter 5 . 8/29/2012
Jonathan is BY FAR the best part of this chapter. Most of his lines had me laughing out loud! I always love a story with good dialogue and this particular story has fantastic dialogue, not just from Jonathan but the other characters as well.

I love how you've added Roman mythology into the mix here. It's different and unique without being far-fetched, and you've done a great job with the details, like the owls carved into the sandstone. I forgot how much I like Roman/Greek mythology until reading this story.

Once again you've succeeded in making Ardeth interesting (as opposed to boring and perfect). Having him eat scorpions is a nice touch! I also think his conversation with Kit went really well (which is saying a lot, because interaction between Ardeth and a female OC usually makes me roll my eyes) and once again I'm pleased with Kit being a believable character. She fits into the story without taking over or being obnoxious, and even though she does have a couple of talents, she's far from perfect, which is always a good thing!

I'm loving this story so far. Added it to my favorites!
Lyrical Ballads chapter 4 . 8/29/2012
I'm so glad Jonathan is going to Egypt! And Katrina as well! I like Katrina, even though she's only had a small role so far, and the idea of a lounge singer with a passion for Egypt is an interesting one.

In fact, all of your OCs are superb. Male OCs are definitely underrated and I wish there were more of them out there, so I was really pleased when Aamir showed up. This part is particularly brilliant:

"Even a mangy camel will carry more than a herd of asses." Aamir defended the beasts atop his own.

Jonathan looked to the chief digger. "Is that a quip about me?"

I was a little wary when Ardeth showed up, since he usually bores me in fanfiction, but you've made him awkward and likeable instead of perfect. I approve! And Aamir trying to prove his expertise over Ardeth's is the best! I have a feeling Aamir might be my favorite character.
Lyrical Ballads chapter 3 . 8/29/2012
I haven't mentioned this yet, but what I really love about this story is the historical accuracy. It's so hard to find a story with good grammar/punctuation, believable characterization, and an atmosphere that's appropriate for the 1920's/30's, but you've achieved all of these things! The first part of this chapter (along with the casino scene in the previous chapter) is a great demonstration of historical accuracy. It FEELS like London in the 1930's, thanks to your attention to detail, and it's fantastic.

And even though I've said this before, I'll say it yet again: I love your Rick/Evy! Their argument about going to Egypt is just perfect.

I'm still so curious about Kit though. Did she really learn Latin at a girl's school or is there something else going on? And who is the mysterious Amunet from Evy's dreams? This story gets more and more interesting!
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