|Reviews for Hidden Within|
| aguy.reviewsgmail.com chapter 14 . 11/23/2013
Super glad you're continuing the story. I'm interested to see what the difference is with Anakin, and whether Alec's "use limited dark healthily" philosophy will help prevent his falling to the dark side.
| darkplayer35 chapter 14 . 11/16/2013
Interesting story crossover. It has potential and I look forward to seeing how it develops further. Keep up the great work and please update soon.
| Talon5Krrde chapter 14 . 10/23/2013
I don't get it though. Alex still killed most of them...
But Anakin still thinks that he has that capacity in him...
I guess that he still has an anchor point though.
| Talon5Krrde chapter 13 . 10/12/2013
Lets stick it to them and not let Anakin go dark...
| RngrThorne chapter 13 . 3/24/2013
It would be different if Shmi lived. Or if it was Alec who snuck in and got her out alive. Maybe with Anakin providing a distraction. Anyway, hope to read more of this soon, since it's been a while since it was updated.
| Regin chapter 13 . 3/11/2013
I Love, I Like, I Lust!Please Update Soon!
| Guest chapter 13 . 11/25/2012
| Innogen chapter 13 . 8/22/2011
Whatever you decide to do with your story is good! Do what you think is correct as a storyteller, what plot-points you choose should remain your decision. I believe the fact that Alec is already shadowing Anakin, in addition to leaving earlier than in the original time-line, shows an organic foreshadowing leading to Shmi's survival.
So, don't worry about asking readers to vote for what to do next, because although it's nice to know what your audience thinks what would happen if they chose something you weren't working for?
The premise to the story is interesting, and I am interested in finding out how and how long Earth has been kept separated from the Galactic Federation (or whatever the official name for it is).
Hopefully all the characters will get their answers once immediate tragedies are averted, or the consequences and fallout of those tragedies are dealt with.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| GLCW2 chapter 13 . 8/21/2011
First of all, I just want to say that I'm glad to see a new chapter. Now on to some remarks. Firstly, I think you accidentally left out some segments. The last moments with Alec, Anakin, and Padme there's a cut off sentence. I don't know what you meant to have there but it looks and sounds like something is missing. Also, with the Familiars discussing the plans, there seems to be a part missing when the second person is talking about Dooku. The sentence is "You will with Dooku." I'm guessing that there is something between will and with. Also, you're missing a capitalization in the next paragraph. "Of" should be capitalized.
The choice on whether or not to kill off Shmi largely depends on whether you want Anakin to turn into Vader or not. If you want him to become Vader, the loss of his mother is one of the first and one of the strongest points of his descent into darkness. Without that, he would never feel as if the Jedi had abandoned or betrayed him. It is the beginning of the divide between Anakin and the Jedi, which turns him towards the only other mentor he has: Sidious.
I'm not too sure about the introduction of the Familiars in your story. How did they get there? How did they get involved in the Sith's plans? How will they be able to develop the Death Star? Or are they just planning on taking it over with their "modifications"? In my opinion, you didn't really need to have more aspects of the Dark Angel realm in this story. Just the idea of two people from one setting being dropped into another with nothing to turn to for the comfort of familiarity is a good idea. Granted, you are the author and it is your right to do as you want. Maybe you have some awesome idea planned out that will string it all together.
On another note, I was troubled by your earlier notion of Alec going into heat. In cats, only the female goes into heats. The males all fight for the right to mate with that female. I don't know if you had a specific reason to have Alec go through that but there's no real reference in the Dark Angel realm that points to males having that issue. Granted, there really isn't a mention besides Max having any issue and only then in season one.
I just wanted to give you some constructive criticism and also to tell you that your story is pretty cool. If any of this helps, awesome. If not, it won't bother me. Keep up the good work. I love your portrayal of Max.
| AkashaWinters chapter 12 . 1/5/2011
Great fic. Love the characterisation, and plot line really works. Would love to see Max whip Windu's ass. Also i'm interested in how you're going to resolve 'the one' issue with there being two of them. Would love to see a bit more of Max and Alec exploring their surroundings or getting a feel for the force. I just have this image of them refusing to be well behaved jedi learners and sneaking off to some down town bars for a few poker matches and prehaps dragging Ani with them and Obi-Wan having to help get them out of trouble.
Also Lydecker has mysteriously disappeared for a while now, presumed dead (but they never could find the body...), prehaps he's going to make an apprearance just to prove he is in fact the most annoying person in the world, or is that a stretch too far?
Great work, please update soon!
| Pheoxy chapter 12 . 12/25/2010
Awesome. No you don't want to add to much or you'll get bogged down in side story, try to keep the main story line of starwars and dark angel as close as possible or entwine them. Add to much and changing to much gets confusing and on most occasions doesn't fit right.
| deathgeonous chapter 11 . 12/22/2010
Very nice fic here. I really hope for more soon. Well, thanks for writing this, bye for now.
| Pheoxy chapter 11 . 12/18/2010
Great work, I like the crossover and that the characters remain the same. The crossover even fits better.
| throwerpro chapter 11 . 9/30/2010
Yep still interested. i really enjoy this crossover. i don't know that if max would stay calm at all when she saw the clones, she would probably burn the place down and set everyone free.
but i like your interpretation to
| Burnstreet chapter 10 . 4/27/2010
Very nice story, I really like it. And that's not just caused by Max and SW being in it...
You have a nice style of writing.
I am curious in whih direction you are going with having two "the one"s next to each other. Probably would be very interesting to see Max fight Vader. Ok, that surely won't happen soon, but still.
This story has grat potential, now it just has to be continued :)