|Reviews for Castaways the sequel to Halo3|
| Spacefan chapter 7 . 5/1/2008
I thought there was nothing worse than ME when I'm bored, but the Chief surpasses me...only he's grumpier.
| en extase chapter 4 . 4/23/2008
The Chief owns his own private planet? Not a yacht, but a freaking _planet_? Well, I suppose I knew from the get-go, but that it was stated was pure gold.
| en extase chapter 3 . 4/23/2008
I'd recommend this all over the place, lol. The Unggai and the ramification of the Halo ring being detonated is a stroke of genius. Most would dump Chief into his next adventure, but your fic operates on a higher level of sophistication.
A very minor note: "He blew a puff of air through his nose and clouded the inside of his faceplate" I've always thought that "interior" instead of "inside" sounds better in regards to a structure or accesory.
| en extase chapter 2 . 4/23/2008
Enjoying this deeply thus far. A minor point is that you could easily avoid the use of the passive voice at "A thin waterfall was pattering down from the plateau above like a flickering silver chain from the sky." by replacing "was pattering" with "pattered".
You look like you know what you're doing. Keep going!
| machinman chapter 1 . 4/15/2008
Its good. I like the "non-violent" take to Halo. I'm glad someone see"s that a story in the Halo universe can be good even without violence. Also it seems you researched the game quite well and to that i salute you. Please make that next chapter soon.
| Big D on a Diet chapter 5 . 3/16/2008
Very enjoyable so far. I'm tempted to ask for longer chapters, but the way you pace them makes them feel longer than they are. I'm enjoying the Chief/Cortana interaction a great deal, in particular how you're establishing that she's a creature of words, while he's someone who communicates through his actions.
| HolyDragoon chapter 5 . 3/15/2008
Well, the Chief has his house now. Chez Chief?
| Tynex chapter 4 . 3/4/2008
I was thinking up a 'sequel' to the Halo 3 game as well, but this is actually well planned and thought out.
Very curious on how this is going to play out!
| Chris000 chapter 4 . 3/4/2008
Its a very good concept. I think its very interesting to write a story on ehat happened right after the game. Watch the grammer a little bit and you'll be fine. Good work and keep it up
| HolyDragoon chapter 3 . 3/2/2008
Hmm. Interesting. Waiting to see more.
| Sith Lord Darth Revan chapter 3 . 2/29/2008
An interesting start. I look forward to seeing where it goes as there are few post Halo 3 fics that... actually follow-up the game well. No complains of this one so far and you seem to have a background knowledge of the books so I look forward to more.
| La Aardvark chapter 3 . 2/28/2008
Very Nice. Your spelling is good, so is your grammar, and the story idea is apparently well thought out.
| Spacefan chapter 3 . 2/28/2008
Fascinating story so far-I like it. Too bad the planet's inhabitants were obliterated by Halo because, from your description, they sound like they would have been interesting. Please hurry with an update...
| Tremble Wolf chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
It seems like a good start, though some of your grammar and sentence structure need a little work. In your second paragraph you used the word "she" to start three sentences in a row, and I found myself looking down the page to see if it would last forever.
Don't get me wrong, this is good, but my advice is don't publish six chapters at once; wait until you've had some reviews and input so you can learn more.
Just keep a variety for starting words, sentence length, and descriptive words and you'll have a huge difference, even though the changes are very small.