|Reviews for Reverse Rebirth|
| machievelli chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
Posted 18 May 2013, at the Starwarsknights web site and the Lucasforums Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but my computer went down for the second time in six months with a virus in June of 2012. Then in November kotorfanmedia went down for reasons unknown, so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. I had waited for it to revive, but you on fanfiction deserve your reviews.
Some of the work I read is what I consider worthy of a professional. These are marked as Picks of the Week. While they are posted on Starwarsknights I am adding the best of the week where applicable.
Pre-KOTOR: The newly emerged Darth Revan takes up the reins of command
Remember to sight edit. You used weary (Tired) rather than wary (alert), boarders (People boarding) instead of border (Frontier). It's a minor problem that would get passed a spellcheck, so it's not biggie. You also used in tact instead of intact. However you used solstice at one point that made no sense, and chastis instead of chassis, which would not have. Also 'numbered by the hundreds daily, if not thousands daily' could be edited by removing either daily.
That being said, I watched the new Darth literally chastising herself as she became who she would be. There is no remorse for what has happened, or will, merely a person telling herself over and over why it must be.
Pick of the Week
| skywalker05 chapter 1 . 3/1/2008
"...the newly christened Dark Lord peeled off the armor of superiority, and almost attached the humility of the Jedi." That is a fantastic phrase.
I like your Revan introspection, and that this is a sort of 'origins of HK-47' fic. You have some trouble with commas; for example "Darth Revan stared at the obvious reply of disobedience from the Echani senator, Yusanis [comma goes here as well]without a smile"..." Decoratively of course,[apostraphe instead of comma here] after all, Darth Revan wasn’t a barbarian.", but the writing flows well generally, especially, as I said, in the introspection sections, such as when she finishes HK and when she turns her lightsaber description of places and rooms, very solid.
Sometimes you have word confusion or lack of quotation marks which are probably typos.
lol, nice HK dialogue! It's much fun to write.
I'm a bit confused about the end; wasn't HK sent to eliminate Yusanis? But Yusanis is coming to see Revan at the end. Huh?
Needs a little work, but twas an enjoyable fic. I really like how you characterize Revan.