|Reviews for A Dangerous Adventure|
| Guest chapter 6 . 8/9/2012
Ohmigod! PLeASE update soon I am hooked on this story and have been waiting for ages! :-) :-) it's really good so far
| Kierza chapter 6 . 3/16/2008
Lovely chapter. You are doing great.
| Plot Bunnies Rule chapter 5 . 3/15/2008
A! More more more soon! Love it!
| TophToph chapter 6 . 3/15/2008
i dunno. i like the story so far, and i think you should stick with the 1st version of ch.5
| i-embrace-OCD chapter 5 . 3/15/2008
Your chapters continue to improve. Honestly, I think this one was written very well; the dialogue, the characters themselves and the action scene were really good. There's always room for improvement, of course (more imagery, perhaps), but as it is, I'm impressed.
The fighting was a bit short for my taste - but everyone has their own opinions on fight scenes, and that's just mine. A lengthier battle and more description (like, with the other characters, or feelings during battle, etc) would have suited the situation because I figure a fight with Azula would have been one of the more climactic scenes, but Toph's injury does a lot for the "climactic" part of it... ah, hope that made sense. The fight scene was pretty good overall, though, and I thought Toph's part of it was given adequate description. Wow, I really hope all of that made sense...
Anyway, the characters really shined through in this chapter and I'm hoping to see more from you soon.
An *Embracing Review
| Demonking101 chapter 6 . 3/15/2008
dude y so short I mean really short I cant wait to c what happens next hurry up plz
| Solembum13 chapter 5 . 3/14/2008
GAH! You MUST continue!
| Melting Crayons chapter 5 . 3/14/2008
Yes, I do hate you, but I won't when you update! It's a great story so puh-lease update soon! :)
| Cra-z4Avatar chapter 5 . 3/14/2008
Again, pretty good, but also that believability issue. Wouldn't it have been easier for Toph to have pushed him out of harms way or creating a shield in front of him with earthbending rather than her body? You've got to take in account of the bending, these guys aren't limited by the abilities of people in the real world. Toph can stomp and send someone yards away into the ground or flying in the air. Just a thought. Good work, I can't wait to read more! :}
| Cra-z4Avatar chapter 4 . 3/14/2008
Overall a pretty good chapter! I found Daichi's knowledge of Toph's thoughts a little unbelievable, b/c he barely knows her. What if she were quiet by nature? He doesn't know for sure. That was the only thing. Other than that, i'd say you've got a pretty good story going here!
| Cra-z4Avatar chapter 1 . 3/14/2008
I liked it. If u spice up the descriptions and add in more sensual imagery it will greatly add believability and make the action scenes more interesting. Keep at it, it's really good!
| flavumetrubrum chapter 4 . 3/10/2008
I liked this chapter. I can't wait to find out what happens with Sokka and Shinya. Keep up the good work.
| Plot Bunnies Rule chapter 4 . 3/10/2008
Ooh, suspense! I love suspense. :) and I also love Tokka, YAY TOKKA! great job! (gives virtual high five) Loved it! MORE MORE MORE!
| i-embrace-OCD chapter 4 . 3/9/2008
Oh, of COURSE you end it that way. I thought this was a good chapter. Your original characters are finding their places in the fic, and that's good.
I thought both Sokka and Toph came clean a little too easily to people they just met, but now that I think about it, if they were going to confess to SOMEONE it seems to me that they would be strangers. They felt like they gave in pretty easily, though. That said, I really liked Toph's confession - THAT was really good. I thought Sokka's was a bit short and didn't hold as much as it should have (he really cared for Yue and Suki, so I thought they might get more attention that one or two sentences).
What he did say was done well, though.
Hope all that made sense. ;) I'd also like to comment on how much I like the fact that Shinya can relate to Sokka. For me, that added a lot to the overall chapter. Also, that was a really good ending (Sokka and Shinya executed? no...!). :D
| Demonking101 chapter 4 . 3/9/2008
ha ha not bad. It's a good story u just need to go a little more in depth I think but still good