|Reviews for An Important Date|
| 2angelgoats chapter 3 . 5/29/2016
This was a nice chapter, very clever, but it didn't give me closure. It made me want to read more! It feels to me like this fic deserves a Chapter 4.
The title was lovely. Sid, Tony, and Maxxie were all very in character.
Why is Sid's hand already outstretched?
| 2angelgoats chapter 2 . 5/29/2016
Hmm, smut isn't really me strong point, but this was well-written. I wonder why it's called 'The Better Offer'? A reference to Michelle, perhaps? That's given me something to speculate over, anyway.
I was going to say that pointing out somehow that this is in Maxxie's point of view could have helped, but no, on further consideration, I think it's easy enough to figure out who's narrating. Maxxie was very in character - if I was going to imagine this, I think it would be easy too. But I'm not going to because I'm an innocent! And even if people couldn't figure it out, I think the mystery would add to the appeal of the fic.
Maybe 'Tony hitched his breath' would work better? Also, the speech tags didn't really work for me. Personally, I think something like:
'"Oh, fuck me... !" His words escaped on a sigh.
"That was the plan," was Tony's sarcastic reply.'
That's probably just a personal thing, though. Good job anyway!
| 2angelgoats chapter 1 . 5/29/2016
I approve of the short chapters here. They suit the fic well. Not enough people utilise short chapters as a technique, and I don't understand that. Readers on average overwhelmingly prefer little bites of a story. It stops your audience's attention from wandering - and it's also quicker for you to write!
Tony and Sid, very in character. I liked the way Sid spoke up about the chips, but still did it in a very Sid way. It's hard to write Sid with a backbone! And Tony, of course, was perfect.
I'm interested to find out what this 'determined expression' is about.
Since you're using dialogue, I understand why the lines are very split up, but I think it could be done to a lesser extent. For instance, I think you could put 'Sid's face contorted into a scowl' at the end of line two, and maybe put the last two lines in the same paragraph. It would just give a little more variance.
Very nice. Will read the next chapter now.
| Loner Kid chapter 3 . 5/11/2014
uhh...too short? but interesting story...or shall i say...scenario..
| 5SecsOfLARRYcat chapter 3 . 12/28/2010
Loved It! :D
| Velvetbabe chapter 3 . 8/19/2010
Ahhhh, I love your stories! You have that rare ability (that I certainly don't have) to say much with little. Wonderful. Love the titles of the chapters, too. Dang, love the whole thing.
| hdjhdfghgaroiahatrdkjgfsmalade chapter 3 . 6/8/2010
n'aw haha :D
| windscarbabe68 chapter 3 . 3/30/2010
I waited til the last chapter because they were all so short but I wanna know why it's complete!
This story has a lot more potential
| Alien Altered chapter 3 . 5/21/2008
Gotta love Maxxie/Tony stories. Can't wait for more!
| RemedyForLove chapter 3 . 4/22/2008
I like how you only get very small snatches of encounters and such.
It gives you a lot of information fast, but lets you come up with a lot on your own too.
| carriesagun chapter 3 . 3/4/2008
BRILLIANT! I love how you write these two, and the fact that you are writing something longer is great! please keep going!