|Reviews for The feel of Irken claws|
| NeverNight chapter 1 . 1/30/2009
Now this is ZADR I could get behind.
Or sidestep, or stand well away from, if absolutely necessary.
For my own safety, of course.
| Amarthame chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
I can't believe I haven't reviewed this yet. xD It's been a good long time since I read this, and I haven't reviewed it yet! Wow. So I took the opportunity to read it again, and along with that took the opportunity to re-watch the episode "Vindicated!" so that I could comment better on your characterization of Dwicky.
First of all, I quite like the storyline. It's really great, I gotta say, though I do have to doubt the likeliness of a bunch of the plotpoints. I dunno, Dib just never really struck me as the sort to go and sleep with his school counselor. He really struck me as the sort to sooner avoid that situation, I'll be honest. Even if he is a cynical bastard, I dunno if he'd really whore himself out like that for the sake of revenge. But, besides that, I really love the way this fic centers around Dwicky, but is actually more so about Dib getting his revenge for all that Dwicky did by not returning the camera. You set the story up in a good way and you carry it along and end it eloquently. Not much more I can say about that. I just quite liked it. )
Dib's characterization strikes me as a little odd. From the beginning, it certainly fits him. From punching Dwicky in the face, the way that he talks and all of that, it's definitely Dib. It struck me as a little iffy that he smokes in this piece, but that could easily just be my own concern for his health. I dunno what it really says about the character. As I've said, it strikes me as *really* iffy that he slept with Dwicky. It just doesn't seem like something that Dib would do. Well, it doesn't seem absolutely unthinkable, but it's just one of those things; it's not exactly OOC, but it seems like something the character might ultimately decide against. After all, Dib ultimately shows nothing but hatred towards Dwicky from the start of the fic, with a few choice exceptions that didn't seem all two significant in the long run. Dib's actions towards the end of the fic return to being complete IC, however. He's always been a bit of a cynical bastard at heart, after all. Though I gotta tell you, it's a pet peeve of mine to see Dib portrayed as "a kinky bastard who gets turned on by pain." It just is. I rather hate it. But, it's not significant enough in this fic to really get me to rage at it, and as such it's not all too big a problem.
Dwicky, on the other hand, sort of dove in and out of being recognizably Dwicky. But there's really very little I can say about that, since all we really saw of Dwicky during the series is the face of a mildly clever and overly joyful school counselor who was putting up an act of sorts to get Dib to open up to him. He always seemed to me like a bit of an average Joe, just happier and slightly more intelligent. Slightly. He carries this same air throughout a good portion of this fic, from the beginning and towards the end. I dunno if I would've pegged him as the sort to have numerous kinky sexual ventures with all species of the galaxy, but as I've said, there's not much I can say about that. It's one take on the character, and there's really not enough canon info about said character for me to argue it one way or the other.
Zim, from the little bit we see of him, seems perfectly IC to me. More or less everything about him. I gotta tell you, I generally dislike Zim being cliche'd-ly portrayed as being the Tallest, but you pull it off quite tastefully here, so I approve. After all, *somebody's* gotta do it right, and you did, so good for you. However, I also generally dislike Zim having inexplicably having "become too tall on his stay on Earth." I admit, I'm guilty of the same type of thing in my own ZADR fanfic, but I provided an (overused, I'm sure, but still more-or-less fitting) explanation in my fic, and there is none here. I understand, there's no real room for an explanation, and this point really only bothers me because it's become a pet peeve of mine after having read numerous considerably worse fanfics that use the same plotpoint. As such, it's really nothing that I can or shall complain further about, but it's just a slight pet peeve that couldn't help but go off here.
Your writing is definitely an improvement from other pieces I've read by you. However, I still spot a fair quantity of odd-sounding turns of phrase and little confusing things that disrupt the flow. Work on trying to catch those, maybe get a beta to point them out more specifically. I can hardly point out all the little flow-hiccups and instances of odd word choice in a review, after all. ) Aside from that, your writing here shows no phenomenal effort to bring out immense detail, but at the same time does well to establish a setting and a fair amount of detail between the dialogue. It reads easily, aside from the flow issues I mentioned, and is generally satisfying in how much detail and information it gives. It doesn't do much in terms of carrying any specific tone, remaining pretty ambiguous in regards to that, which actually rather fits, since the piece if focused on Dwicky who is definitely something of an ambiguous character. One thing I'd warn against is putting vital information about the setting or thoughts of the characters in a short little paragraph directly before a lengthy amount of dialogue. Dialogue catches the reader's eye considerably more than a small, thick mass of details, and as such, it's not unreasonable to consider that the reader may just skip right over reading the non-dialogue part without really noticing it. I probably would've done this myself had I not gone through and read it more than once, and it's not really the fault of you as a writer or anything. But it's something that I try to watch out for while writing, and I'd advise you to do the same. ) All around, your writing is easy to read through, fairly satisfying, but nothing particularly outstanding in this piece. But it fits the story well in its ambiguous tone and such, so good job for that.
Overall, I'd probably rate this piece about an 8.372 out of 10. It's a great story, the characterization is generally a little better than just being acceptable, and the writing style fits, but you could still work on your flow and such and there were a few aspects to this piece that were pet peeves of mine. Still an enjoyable piece, though. Good work! )
| Alana-kittychan chapter 1 . 1/14/2009
Alana: Nice just what I think how it should end lol
| Helena F. Lupin chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
I've never been so happy with a twist in my life. I really liked this short story. I like a good twist at the end of any story, and you pulled it off very well.
| Karasu Kagami chapter 1 . 1/9/2009
I believe thisd is one of the greatest, funniest fics ive ever read. Not only do i fav it now, i worship you as a goddess of slash-im saying this unknowing of your gender but confidently-for only a goddess could possibly be so deviously twisted enough to write this magnificents! And yes. I am aware i spelt that wrong. Youre bloody ~fan-freaking-tabulous~!
| youkodoll chapter 1 . 1/3/2009
YOU HAVE GOT TO MAKE ANOTHER STORY LIKE THIS ONE, I ABSOLUTLY LOVE HOW YOU MADE DIB! I LOVE HIS BAD BOY ATTITUTUDE AND ZIM AS POSSEIVE AS EVER! YOU COULD MAKE A STORY WHERE ALMOST ALL THE ALIENS JUST LOVE DIB AND WOULD LIKE HIM TO JOIN THEM ESPECIALLY THE IRKAN'S ENEMIES, THAT WOULD BE AWSOME! GREAT JOB!
| mysoulmate chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
It was a most enjoyable story. Mainly the end when Dib sounds like a right bastard.
| CyphonFiction chapter 1 . 11/30/2008
AHAAHH! XD Oh its brilliant XD I just love it XD Dib and Dwiky were captured excellently. The entire plan was fool proof XP
| The Bog Witch chapter 1 . 11/29/2008
I almost shot milk out of my nose when I read that ending. Great build up!
| Black Footed Ghost chapter 1 . 11/28/2008
I really enjoyed this story. All your stories so far have been really fun to read. Thanks for such pure awesomeness.
| Angel's Nocturne chapter 1 . 11/26/2008
*stuck between laughing her ass off and releasing a fangirl cry of joy*
This... this... Oh HOLY MOTHER OF IRK THIS IS THE BEST ONE-SHOT FOR ZADR IN THE HISTORY OF EVER! *huggles you* I was COMPLETELY not expecting that ending! You set it up PERFECTLY, leading on with Dwicky and Dib in the bar, and the introduction of the scars soon followed by Zim's appearance... oh, it flowed with exact perfectness and slid from each scene to the next beautifully!
And... and... THE ZADR-NESS! Muy perfecto! You captured Zim's enraged state, he was crude and terrifying and hilarious without being too child-ish, and Dib's cold, masochistic nature just melded perfectly with Zim's hot passionate fury. I was... I was just TOTALLY blown away when the Communication Drone called Dib a "Taller", and then when Dib called Zim his "Tallest" I just started an rampant bunch of gaps and squealing that went on for a whole five minutes... whoa, I don't think I EVER got this worked up for a fic... EVER... it was that good, man, THAT awesomely good...
Great dialogue. The description was nice, nothing was choppy or felt rushed, the whole story just flowed in the most precise way that you got carried along with it until you get whacked on the head with Dib and Zim's "TALLEST" status, and then you're just screaming "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD NO WAYY! XD"
Overall: SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME WITH CHERRIES AND WAFFLES ON TOP. I don't think a bad word can be said about this fic AT ALL.
Except that the world needs more of them. Or at least just me.
Kudos and cookies to you, superior author! I look forward to now raiding your other stories and fan-gasming over their pure genius style!
| The Archiver chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
ahaha, how deliciously twisted yo made Dib, I love it. I enjoy a dark revenge story like this.
| Liani Risate chapter 1 . 10/11/2008
Haha-I love the end, that was so funny!
| ZOMFGH chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
That was so funny XD
| N.Kirei chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
XD Dib is such a bastard. XD Aww, man, I really liked this one-shot!