Reviews for Hakumei
jcampbellohten chapter 32 . 16h
Why does it say Completed if it's not completed? A few chaptrs ago I thought it was completed because the rebellion was going to be successful. Anyway, good story, despite the typos everywhere. I don't know how I feel about Orochimaru being a brainwashed good guy. On one hand, it feels like a cop-out, even if I've never seen it done with him before. On the other hand, I like the idea of Orochimaru being a good guy.
jcampbellohten chapter 13 . 8/26
Okay, you did it: Iruka went dark, and I can see him with Anko now. I like how Anko actually cares about him enough to be upset that he's become so much like her. I'm guessing the first two are... Itachi, then Orochimaru and Kabuto? And Danzo somehow managed to gain some form of control or compulsion over Orochimaru's mind?
jcampbellohten chapter 8 . 8/26
"Mercenaries... Group of ninja... They called themselves Hakumei."
o.o Yooo, I just realized the extra symbolism down the line: they're "Twilight", eventually in opposition to "Dawn" (Akatsuki).
jcampbellohten chapter 2 . 8/25
I like that they weren't good at fighting yet, because they're not even Academy age yet, right? The bottom-half shadow clone being able to attack was funny.
I can't see Kimimaro being with anyone. The only thing he cares about is Orochimaru, and he's old enough in canon that I think Orochimaru may have gotten his hands on him already at this point. Konohamaru/Hanabi is practically established fanon, and is a pairing I like, personally. I don't know who Isaribi is, so sure, why not? I have trouble seeing Iruka/Anko unless Iruka turns into a drunkard and/or mean person because he's so distraught over Naruto (and the others, kind of) having disappeared.
CrystallineX chapter 13 . 8/17
Tentative guess for Mystery man 1 : Orochimaru?
And I know for a fact that Mystery Man 2 and the woman that he's talking to are Iruka and Anko. Onward!
Silver Dragonfly chapter 33 . 8/14
Just finished reading all 33 chapters of this one. Good job tracking the multitude of characters as this little baby of yours started to spread out and find some wings. I was a bit surprised by the way the invasion planned out, but its much more believable at this point in the story. (After all its hard to remember that Hakumei is still only 12 and still pretty fresh out in the world at this point.) I had kind of hoped Zabuza had actually killed Kisame, but wasn't too surprised to learn otherwise. Anyways, belated congrats on completing a complex story and project. (Or at least Part 1) )
lunargaurdian chapter 8 . 8/13
Love this story, I laughed so hard at the Omake throughout the chapters so far! Can't wait to read more!
Guest chapter 33 . 8/11
This story is amazing... I can't wait for you to write the sequel.
avada96 chapter 3 . 8/10
Have nothing against your story in particular.
It's just, if Madara was the founder of the Uchiha clan, when you take into account that at the time of this story he would be around 90 years old, it would be nearly impossible for Madara to have been able to procreate enought to create a clan as big as the Uchiha Clan is said to be.
Don't forget the Clan is the one responsable for the Uchiha Police Force that is big enought to police the entire village, add in the children that would exist, plus housewives, eledry and refdormed and you end up with a clan with aroud 250 to 300 people. Now I don't know about you, or those who read this story but one man in around 75 years (if he started reproducing when he was around 15 to 18 years of age) give birth to clan that large.
Just sayin.
Guest chapter 16 . 8/5
There are no sora fans
midnightangelsflame chapter 7 . 7/31
You captured ero-saninin's personility very well i like it!
XxTealJadexX chapter 4 . 7/21
huehuehue XD naruto
btw you misspelled byakugan, it's a not e
Brightpath2 chapter 33 . 7/18
Phew . . . . . . . when my friend mentioned an epic Naruto fanfiction that was complete and that I should read it, I didn't expect to love it this much.
You've clearly put a lot of effort into this fanfiction. You've made me like all of the characters more, including Sasuke (my favorite character, even if he is a total idiot), and I adore the way you portray Hakumei's friendship.
And Jiraiya and Tsunade are the BEST.
Your plan with Orochimaru is looking really interesting. I'm excited to see where that goes.
As someone a bit newer to Naruto (I'm early on in Shippuden right now) there were a few spoilers, but I've already been dished out a few dozen spoilers since Naruto is so old.
I hope you regain inspiration for Hakumei Kakumei (Twilight Revolution, hmmmmm) soon. Keep up the good work! I hope you're enjoying writing your original story with your friend.
jj chapter 33 . 7/16
i kinda hate u right now but i still like this story my only major issue, besides the fact they didnt win, was that kiba didnt get to join naruto and yumi wasnt killed i really wanted her to get killed. but good story great job and cant wait for the next part
jj chapter 25 . 7/16
hahaha haku and deidara love it
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