Reviews for Hakumei
Core Code chapter 2 . 9/6
Another pairing you should have is the Canon ships, like sakura x sasuke
Demishinobi chapter 5 . 8/22
I'm glad you put that song in this chapter.
Demishinobi chapter 3 . 8/22
This is an amazing fic. I like that you actually checked for a mythological being from Japanese legends, instead of making one up.
Silverserpent74 chapter 5 . 6/26
When I saw lullaby I thought tayuya was going to make an appearance, partly because in fairy tale lullaby is a flute and tayuya uses a one. Strange way of thinking I know.
misuky7 chapter 33 . 6/9
I loved this. I'm so sad it's ended. I cannot wait to read more. :3
moodysavage chapter 32 . 5/24
I was so happy to see Itachi! And that twist with Orochimaru was a total surprise but I really liked it. And I'm so glad Hinata was able to see that her dad cared about her safety. Poor Kiba... really Naruto, how long does it take to say 'Danzo killed the Hokage'? And I'm really liking Zabuza. There's so much I love about this story!
moodysavage chapter 9 . 5/20
I really like the omake scenes!
moodysavage chapter 2 . 5/18
I like this. I don't think I've ever read about so many of the characters being so young that actually ARE portrayed as kids. Their fighting was ineffective but it showed their willingness to fight and their ability to learn from the scolls but not at a ridiculous 'we are little adult-like prodigies.' This is so much more believable.
Guest chapter 3 . 5/16
hm nice story , i can relate this to nagato,konan filler story before they were find by jiraya ,the only down side is that prety much all the group memebers have some special ability beside naruto and i am afraid you go after that shit canon(sry language) were naruto got the shit of the shit and somehow he had to do it (i am a naruhina fan, but i think kishimoto gived all to the likes sasuke ,neji ,etc when naruto got nothing but somehow the plot armor was there the somehow win with all odds against), hope you can give somting that makes naruto a lil better beside big mouth and happy ( willpower to never quit) go lucky thing
Demento56 chapter 33 . 5/13
This story started out weak but, to your credit, it did improve considerably towards the end of the five year span you were writing it.

It's a 6/10 overall. Sadly, while the premise was very interesting and you did a pretty good job of making every member of Hakumei a distinct character, the actual writing wasn't great. Between the clumsy exposition, the heavy handed imagery and symbolism, and the constant misspellings and typos of names (you confused Nara Shikaku and the Bijuu Shukaku about half a dozen times, when you weren't too busy getting them wrong in new and creative ways), the plot just couldn't compensate.

That said, I am disappointed that you only had one chapter of the sequel in you. If your writing improved, it could have been a very good story.
SilverDragon1218 chapter 33 . 5/13
This was AWESOME! Even though it was a little sad at the end and Danzo is still the most evil criminal mastermind at large. I can only hope for a happy ending. Great idea, loved it
Discordmaru chapter 33 . 5/6
I really loved this, such a interesting and different view of what if's. It started out slightly rushed, but by the 2nd 3rd chapter I was in for an awesome ride. Now gonna check your profile see more of your work. (fave, followed, & reviewed because it's worth it.)
daragunshot chapter 7 . 4/18
Spite. The true fuel of greatness and success.
Andorxor chapter 28 . 3/31
I hope Santa spears and fights Danzo
Sharq attack 69 chapter 10 . 3/31
Rip kakashis dignity
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