Reviews for Harry’s Twist
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Fine chapter and story. While no new ground has been broken, the execution makes the story worth reading anyway.

Good retroactive closing attempt on that huge plot hole but there are still problems. The biggest is, it should have been addressed in the first chapter when it is apparent to the thoughtful reader. This could have been easy dialog, e.g. "Harry, Aren't you worried about what Dumbledore will do?", etc.

The second is that not all of the means at Dumbledore's disposal were addressed. The biggest being targeted memory charms, mood altering drugs, and good old fashioned brain-washing techniques. Any one of those methods could potentially restore Dumby's weapon to operational readiness.

Another thing, you mention Pettigrew. Since Wormtail spent the first 2.5 years, of Hogwarts, riding around in Ron's pocket, he must know the truth of Harry's article and may have informed Voldemort well before Harry himself discovered the truth.

It will be interesting to see where you are going with this story as the central conflicts appear to be waining at the start! Where is the room for drama? (Or comedy?)
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
Satisfying start, if overused premise.

One big glaring plot problem. Harry's done all this from school!

That means Dumbledore will enslave him, modify memories as necessary and have Harry print a retraction in the paper. Game over and this major flaw was either overlooked or not handled well.

The writing mechanics are good.
lmill123 chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
I love this story and am looking forward to your next update. Looking forward to the fallout from Authur and the twins towards Ron, Ginny. Looking forward to the next order meeting. Wait till they and the minstery learn the deal Harry made with Voldermolt That any country Harry lives in if off limits to the deatheaters. Look how many people will be leaving Europe.
snipescougar chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Hm ... What to say ? I guess this story would be best summarized exactly as you have titled it ; Harry's Twist .

What I mean is that the basic plot premise ( HP finds out he has been manipulated since even before his birth and he reacts .. ) has become sort of cliché . Even the detente bit with LV has been done before . That said you have managed to give it a sufficient enough twist to give the story quite a refreshing look . I certainly have not seen any fic in which HP's first salvo is revealing all in public . I loved that bit . So good work .

I guess the basic premise of the story restricts you in how much you can do with a character or where the story can go . Keeping that in mind I have to say this is one of the better efforts in writing a story based on this particular premise .

You have included one too many clichéd bits into the story that it would have been better without . Seer Luna is the most prominent of these . I guess it is fun playing around with such a character but it is no less frustrating for an avid reader of fan-fiction to find her in almost every other fic and god knows every one of them portrays her the same way . Done with the rant now ... Still the point is no less valid ...

Manipulative Molly being yet another one ... That said the small bit about family gossip of Molly dosing Arthur and also Arthur seemingly unaware of the manipulations ... Hm ... Good fodder for a decent side- lot me thinks .. Kudos for that anyway .. Cheers also for Minerva being in with Dumbles plan .. Too many fics portray her as a blind sycophant who cant see what is going on right under her nose .. Good going with that one ..

Overall a good effort . 3.5/5 .. Could have been more if only you had tried just that bit harder to keep out the clichés ..
jabarber69 chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Hey excellent update! Love the little tidbits of the letter every now and then. Also the slide was original and yes i too have seen where harry and tom meet in their minds and talk, but hey I dont see any thing wrong with using someone else ideal, as long as you take thier ideal and then go your own way with it! I mean face it we all plagarize Rowlings work! but we take her ideals and go our own way or at least most of us do!

I also like Luna, especially the Luna from the last movie, I think she and Harry would be a good match!
luckykas chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
Great plot. I always thought that after Sirius's Death, Harry had nothing left to fight for. And though Ginny with potions seems cliche...JKR herself is to blame for that. The romance between Harry and Ginny is so haphazardly depicted and so abrupt in the canon that this hypothesis is a distinct possibility. What I don't understand is why are you set on making only Ron and Ginny to be beneficiaries of the plot? What makes the rest of the weasels untouchable?hope you get a chance to update soon, looking forward to see how it plays out.
honore chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
I have always loved a Harry that gains an understanding of the manipulations that have gone on in his life and decides to do something. I think you are on to something here. I loved it. Looking forward to more. Thanks
Rabid Reader 4 chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
oh, I had to reread the first chapter, but it was well worth it. I love what you are doing. I especially like the way you have written voldie. I never could understand how someone that crazy and sadistic could have the cream of the wizarding world wallowing at his feet. I find it makes much more sense that his time as a spirit caused much mental strife but as he heals he reverts to the much more believable guerilla warfare leader that is depicted in the beginning of cannon.

I look forward to mroe and hope your muse keeps you writing.
that1 chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
This chapter can be summed up as - WOW!

What more need be said?

Keep it up!
jpotterNY chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
What a fun start to the fic, I'm glad I looked at it! I can't wait to see where you go with it. Personally I kind of like the way you dumped the whole mess with the friends so quickly, I have read enough fics that I will occasionally wish the first couple chapters were summarized to a simple list of events - went to Dursleys, slipped away, went to the bank, got money credit card, got trunk, went shopping... Then get on with the 'new and different' parts of the story.

I also loved your Luna in this chapter, and the end scene with Harry leaning too far. I could clearly see the whole thing in my little brain. :)

Jim
killing u with umbrellas chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
i love it. plz upadate soon.
RANGER99 chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
oh boy iam loveing this keep it up,
Steven Kodaly chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
I like Harry's personal entrance to his meeting chamber with Tom's representation!

It's always nice to see people remember the difference between 'living' and 'surviving'. It's even nicer to see people move from the latter to the former.
PsychoLeopard chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
Ahahahahaha!

First off, if you get it from three different sources, it's not plagiarism! Or so I hear. :Looks shifty: Love the waterslide, and Harry's decision to act like a kid. I hope we'll hear more about this theory?

I love this twist. I thought I saw how it was going last chapter, and then boom! You switched it around on us. Can we get a bit of a flashback of Harry and Voldie working things out over the summer?

I LOVE Luna! She's so random and creepy and yet sweet and loyal.

I'd love to see the twins' reaction to the article and their revenge (assuming they have it) on Ron and Ginny. So I'm hoping you'll come back to that.

Great work. Looking forward to the next chapter, though if Two Sides comes out first I certainly shan't complain!
karlii chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
well... although I thought you might've gone on a bit about Ron... all in all, I think this is a fine chapter! The length is fine... I like long chapters, in fact! :-)

I love how Tom and Harry are already negotiating... very fun! And it'll be interesting to see what the Twins make of all this. Remus too. Even though Harry wins the bet this time, I'd like to think that eventually, the wolf will decide that the Alpha is wrong, and at least leave that pack.

Keep up the good work!
564 | « Prev Page 1 .. 23 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 .. Last Next »