|Reviews for Harry’s Twist|
| Taly-chan chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Even if you say it's cliche, it was a marvelous chapter, and you were right, the fun part was the last. Great job.
| enderswiggin chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Well, so far this story is brilliant!
Very well written and even though the plot is derived from a few often used themes, it is extremely creative and engaging. Great job.
This chapter really sucked me in. Can't wait to see the next installment. Thanks for the effort so far.
| silverlasso chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
I loved this; even if you are using some cliches, they're changed around to make it very enjoyable. It'll be interesting to see where the next chapter goes.
| pleasedeletemyffaccount chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Damn..This is definetly one of the best independent Harry stories Ive read. Is there going to be a pairing in this story?
Cant wait for the next update.
| gaul1 chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
good chapter, byes
| Archean chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
Love the way your going with the story, its an interesting twist to the manipulative dumbles and group. I'm looking forward to more chapters. Thanks for sharing
| David M. Potter chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
awesome story. i love luna. i can't wait to read more.
| BetaGuy chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Well we didn't see that coming.
| SaWa-San chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Abso-bloody-lutly fantastic! Just gotta LOVE it when Harry gets one over old Dumbles! I also enjoyed the bet quite wel as it gives a rather accurate picture of Lupin from the books themself, or at leasst how I always saw him in them...
Hope you'll go on ASAP!
| dogbertcarroll chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
| DeliaDee chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Hmm... This is very interesting. I believe this is the first time I've read a betrayal story where McGonagall knows most of what's going on and doesn't really object and is actually trying to help Dumbles. It's an interesting twist since she appears to be Dumbles' common sense. Remus is usually either completely committed to Harry or completely committed to Dumbles so portraying him as a spineless Lupin doll is interesting as well though rather sad. Luna is, as always, brilliant. I dig that you had Harry write the letter in the Prophet after the fact of the agreement between him and Voldie. It should make Dumbles' pathetic attempts at manipulating Harry back to his side even more amusing. All in all, a great chapter. Don't worry about the length. Longer is always better (um...you know what I mean). And the water slide is awesome. Now I want one too. :)
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Fine chapter and story. While no new ground has been broken, the execution makes the story worth reading anyway.
Good retroactive closing attempt on that huge plot hole but there are still problems. The biggest is, it should have been addressed in the first chapter when it is apparent to the thoughtful reader. This could have been easy dialog, e.g. "Harry, Aren't you worried about what Dumbledore will do?", etc.
The second is that not all of the means at Dumbledore's disposal were addressed. The biggest being targeted memory charms, mood altering drugs, and good old fashioned brain-washing techniques. Any one of those methods could potentially restore Dumby's weapon to operational readiness.
Another thing, you mention Pettigrew. Since Wormtail spent the first 2.5 years, of Hogwarts, riding around in Ron's pocket, he must know the truth of Harry's article and may have informed Voldemort well before Harry himself discovered the truth.
It will be interesting to see where you are going with this story as the central conflicts appear to be waining at the start! Where is the room for drama? (Or comedy?)
| SomeGuyFawkes chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
Satisfying start, if overused premise.
One big glaring plot problem. Harry's done all this from school!
That means Dumbledore will enslave him, modify memories as necessary and have Harry print a retraction in the paper. Game over and this major flaw was either overlooked or not handled well.
The writing mechanics are good.
| lmill123 chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
I love this story and am looking forward to your next update. Looking forward to the fallout from Authur and the twins towards Ron, Ginny. Looking forward to the next order meeting. Wait till they and the minstery learn the deal Harry made with Voldermolt That any country Harry lives in if off limits to the deatheaters. Look how many people will be leaving Europe.
| snipescougar chapter 2 . 6/16/2008
Hm ... What to say ? I guess this story would be best summarized exactly as you have titled it ; Harry's Twist .
What I mean is that the basic plot premise ( HP finds out he has been manipulated since even before his birth and he reacts .. ) has become sort of cliché . Even the detente bit with LV has been done before . That said you have managed to give it a sufficient enough twist to give the story quite a refreshing look . I certainly have not seen any fic in which HP's first salvo is revealing all in public . I loved that bit . So good work .
I guess the basic premise of the story restricts you in how much you can do with a character or where the story can go . Keeping that in mind I have to say this is one of the better efforts in writing a story based on this particular premise .
You have included one too many clichéd bits into the story that it would have been better without . Seer Luna is the most prominent of these . I guess it is fun playing around with such a character but it is no less frustrating for an avid reader of fan-fiction to find her in almost every other fic and god knows every one of them portrays her the same way . Done with the rant now ... Still the point is no less valid ...
Manipulative Molly being yet another one ... That said the small bit about family gossip of Molly dosing Arthur and also Arthur seemingly unaware of the manipulations ... Hm ... Good fodder for a decent side- lot me thinks .. Kudos for that anyway .. Cheers also for Minerva being in with Dumbles plan .. Too many fics portray her as a blind sycophant who cant see what is going on right under her nose .. Good going with that one ..
Overall a good effort . 3.5/5 .. Could have been more if only you had tried just that bit harder to keep out the clichés ..