|Reviews for Rising Star|
| Wordlurker chapter 1 . 8/29/2014
What I'm not getting is how the Cylons magically infiltrated the Savior's systems. They need an access point to upload anything, like a wireless network they can connect to, and if it is encrypted, firewalled, etc, they need to crack those protections and then the systems have to be compatible as well. If the OS is too different, a virus or malware program won't do shit because neither system can understand the other. The virus/malware program would just be nonsensical code incapable of executing anything.
And even if they do all that, their chosen access point has to be connected to the other systems. If it is just a communication hub and not directly connected to the main system/network it won't matter how many viruses they upload to it, or how advanced they are.
Basically, cyberwarfare is not even remotely as simple as movies like Independence Day would have you believe. The Cylon's quick and seemingly effortless intrusion into the Savior's computers feels incredibly unrealistic.
That aside, I like what you've written so far.
| Nate chapter 14 . 8/28/2014
Ok - the fucking neoluddite colonials disparage advanced medical treatment, take hegemony soldiers as hostages, and act like fucking spoiled brats and the hegemony keeps fucking bending over for it.
Yeah - Fuck this fic.
| Nate chapter 13 . 8/28/2014
Yeah no - they should of just fucking shot or spaced Zarak or destroyed the fucking ship.
This is definitely turning into a shitfic.
| Nate chapter 12 . 8/28/2014
Yeah - Once the fuckhead colonials started with the shitheaded hostage taking they all deserve to FUCKING BURN.
| Nate chapter 2 . 8/27/2014
While I'm enjoying this story as of Chapter 2 - I do have to say that "Captain", and I do use that term loosely, Sutherland was a reckless asshole that deserved to be taken outside and fucking shot.
| EffervescentNova chapter 13 . 6/21/2014
The minute I read The Guardians of Los Angeles I skipped straight to the end of this chapter. It is hilariously bad writing. Also a Novice of Gaia? It sounds like humanity has reverted to the state of primitives.
No real involvement from Earth. Earth which was the whole focus of BSG is now just some distant entity and forms part of a hideous utopian empire.
The all too human alien species in this fic are so numerous and borrowed from so many sources that they now form just a large featureless mass with no definition or character of their own, which is what I feared would happen in my earlier reviews.
1500 people are not enough to produce enough ore for refining when you're dealing with 12 worlds with tens of billions of humans. Killing Adama in BSG made sense as it would through the remaining military command into disorder, this would not be true of the military as a whole whose succesion rules are very specific. There was still no explanation as to why the commander in theatre and of the whole colonial war effort decided to just sit on his hands and wait and see what happened during the fight for the colonies. More bad writing.
Despite its length and detail this story is too thin to really justify reading any further.
| EffervescentNova chapter 11 . 6/13/2014
2 million people in a world of billions are not going to in any way a noticeable drain on resources.
500 species on board one ship? Nonsense, alien biologies could never function on that level. Not unless you make the 'aliens' basically just human with fur or grey skin like you have done. It seems in your story life is more varied on earth alone than the whole rest of the universe; so much for infinite diversities. Again, being good and moral is different between species, radically different. So a star trek approach is useful for tv but incredibly boring in this medium.
If the cylons had the ability to crack planets the colonies would've been history regardless of what the Space Guard has tried to do. Remember the cylons smuggled thousands of infiltrators into the colonies. It is no great trick then to destroy the colonies with this technology.
So much of this story is forced. Cain for some reason not only allowed her cylon lover to remain free, an act of treason in itself but also particpate in the defence of her ship and in the planning of an assault on a critical cylon target. Have you actually seen BSG? Do you remember who Cain was? She was not this doeey love struck, smitten teen girl who hugs and kisses her junior crewmembers/lovers in view of her officers. Utterly terrible writing, teen fanfic stuff. The spelling and grammar suffered as well.
| EffervescentNova chapter 10 . 6/12/2014
Having doctors cutting into brains now. More anachronisms. It's millenia in the future, understanding of neurology and nono-technology should make any and all manual surgery of any kind entirely redundant. You've gone the star trek way which is only 4centuries in the future. If the Hegemony has the ability to adapt genes on such a level then implants of any kind would be wasteful when you can simply alter an individual at the genetic level.
Also 'transfer power from life support to the armor' is a nonsense statement.
| EffervescentNova chapter 9 . 6/11/2014
More Space Magic. More of the same from the previous 8 chapters, one long confused battle. Really getting stale now.
Why was Adama made commander in theatre in an earlier chapter then? Why did he just sit and wait if that was the case?
The Sentinel has been a bit of a damp squib so far, all that build up for little pay off.
Seriously this battle is begiining to drag on. The number of different species involved detracts from the realism and leaves an actual lack of tone and colour. Because they are all alien, they are presented as either being too human or cartoonish.
| EffervescentNova chapter 8 . 6/9/2014
This chapter was much sloppier than earlier chapters. Spelling, grammar were all noticeably worse and the interactions between factions were a little trite particularly the interactions between Alli and Caprica Six as well as the doctors of various species.
Like many fanfics the aliens aren't really alien in your mind which is why the interactions of all the species are basically human and why despite their varying biologies they can all serve easily on the same spacecraft in other galaxies. Worse, it explains why you have that silly Space Guard Code of Honor waxing about infinite diversities in infinite combinations, as long as they accept human morals and code of behaviour. Also what kind of belief is it that accepts that extinction is inevitable? It's nihilistic and not at all what humans would ever allow themselves to believe.
Still more anachronistic technology but now also space magic in the form of psychics. Shields are absurd even though all you need to do is power some ionized gas or polarize your hull, but EMP drainers (why not on ship?) and psychics are fine?
Why didn't the ship under siege simply jump away? The cylons manage it easily enough and how exactly do 5 millenia advanced missiles get confused at point blanc range? Why was the ship under so much pressure? There were only 5 basestars and this ship was 3 times the size of the Victory and the 5 basestars were also contending with 2 battlestars?
Would a mon-calamari psychic say 'you twat'?
Why have so many crossovers if you're just going to ignore everything from those unverses?
Sloppy compared to earlier chapters and this battle is beginning to drag on seemingly with no end in sight, with no real strategy or cohesion to any of the manouvres. The Sentinel was incredibly sloppy for an agent with access to the most advanced training and technology of a civilization 5 millenia more advanced than the cylons and he was clumsy and inept for being, in your words, a 1 in a billion soldier.
| EffervescentNova chapter 7 . 6/9/2014
If terran fighters can accelerate at near luminal speeds then their missiles should be at least as fast, otherwise they would be entirely useless. Having a cylon warship 'dodge' the Space Guard's missiles is not believable in this context. Again the Space Guard tech seems anachronistic considering the crossovers involved.
Otherwise this has been a great story so far.
| EffervescentNova chapter 6 . 6/7/2014
The forerunners could create shield worlds as well as the arks. The shield worlds were 2 AU in diamter, or 300 million kilometers and had masses measured in millions of earths. So this intergalactic civilization isn't on their level yet.
I'm surprised the Scarren empire could ever be a threat to the Hegemony.
| EffervescentNova chapter 5 . 6/7/2014
An EMP barrier is ev enen stranger than a 'shield' which is essentially just a powered ionised gas. Your EMP can drain heat and kinetic energy, yet people are only slightly affected?
This is very well written, but the multitude of crossovers leaves everything a little disjointed and also contradicts much of the species respective universes, ie. Halo, Farscape etc... It also makes the supposedly ultra-advanced technology seem anachronistic by comparison.
Perhaps simply making th Hegemony human, or of species that you've created yourselves or even just species from one crossover would've made this elemen of your story less cartoonish. Because otherwise it's an excellently written story.
| Hat O' Doom chapter 16 . 3/2/2014
| Amonits chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
Super empire across 3 galaxies, and they are rendered useless by a cylor virus?
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL nope, this story is not for me...