|Reviews for I Don't Love Him Anymore Naokun|
| Commander chapter 1 . 3/15/2008
Kind of a strange coincidence that you've written fanfiction for the only anime I've ever really liked. :D Anyway, on to the review. You've got some good stuff here. I love little drabbles that look into the inner thoughts of characters. My suggestion would be to not rely so heavily on dialogue and add in a few more inner thoughts that the characters aren't saying to each other, but merely feeling.
A couple of notes-remember to always capitalize proper names like Mamimi and Naota, and to make a new paragraph each time a new person speaks. It makes it easier to read. XD
Nice work overall, though! I think you wrote them pretty well in-character. Keep writing! :)
| tasty cheez chapter 1 . 3/11/2008
good lil' fic, but I think you made the characters... to much themselves? I hope that makes sense. Naota is a little too angsty. mamimi is a little too hyper. It's not too bad but I just thought you ought to know