|Reviews for A New Kind of Threat|
| Ladykind2008 chapter 8 . 3/31/2009
wow...I love the story. I want more and I hope Phillip kicks ass
| miklik chapter 8 . 7/24/2008
I really like the story. I really liked the not-nurse-klutz-buffoon line. Hysterically funny. I can't wait for the next chapter to come out. Keep them coming!
| Asterisk78 chapter 8 . 4/25/2008
Okaysies, I really liked this, but I had no clue what was going on. I appreciate that you were trying to keep the tension going, but seriously, please tell us what's happening so we can get on with the story.
And you're totally right. Hi-Tech does squeak.
P.S. Check your email!
| White Eyebrow chapter 7 . 4/7/2008
Good dialogue here. I'm eager to see what happens next.
| White Eyebrow chapter 5 . 4/7/2008
This is an unorthodox style of POV shift, but it works (not a critique, just an observation.)
I'm experimenting with this myself. Have you tried, as an exercise, giving each character a quirk of speech or manner (or something similar) to help differentiate them from each other. I only ask because a problem I have is they start to sound similar during the introspection parts.
| White Eyebrow chapter 1 . 4/7/2008
My only nitpick here is your Author's notes.
Your fic hasn't even started yet and you're already trashing it. This might not have been your intention, but this is how it comes across to me.
Your interpretation of fandom is no less valid than anyone else's, regardless of wether you've written one or one-hundred fics.
Just present your story proudly and let it stand on its merits.
| Asterisk78 chapter 7 . 4/7/2008
Oh man, that was funny. I think my favorite line was the one where Heavy Duty says that Phillip is smaller than his left arm...and the best part is that it's probably true.
Um, leave off the quotes around where Snake Eyes is talking. You don't need quotes, and it's actually just confusing. And you left off a few periods (You were typing fast, yes?), and you still keep capitalizing!
But it was still awesome, and I would like to remind you not to take as long with a chapter next time. I'm really bad at waiting.
| Asterisk78 chapter 6 . 3/28/2008
Yay! I love it all...
But why are you letting Snake Eyes touch a car? Isn't that like, I dunno, one of the signs of the Apocalypse?
| tigger79 chapter 5 . 3/26/2008
Like the story, keep writing!
| Asterisk78 chapter 5 . 3/25/2008
You poor child! I'll try and rustle up some people...you beg for reviews so much it breaks my heart *sob* Maybe I'll log out and review you anonymously. Would that make you happy?
Somehow I think not.
I love you, Brainy! (Of course, in a completely platonic sense. Think the Greek philia, or brotherly love) Your writing is so awesome, and I love to read it. I didn't find any of those nasty capitalizations after the dialogue this time, or at least there weren't enough to annoy me.
And I loved the part where Snake Eyes calls Storm Shadow a butthead. I laughed really loud, and I think I disturbed the neighbors...
| Asterisk78 chapter 4 . 3/14/2008
I love this. It was hysterical! Of course, considering that we think alike, it's not unlikely that you might possibly write something I think is funny. My favorite parts were definitely the dialogue, though you definitely got me when the suit was beeping, and Snake Eyes mentioned Heavy Duty...
One thing though...you tend to capitalize the word after dialogue. I know you know you do this, so just check it!