|Reviews for A Tale of Midgar|
| Licoriceallsorts chapter 13 . 3/6/2011
I'm really glad you revived this. It's always been a fond favourite of mine. It's been a while, though, so I'd rather forgotten who Notch was. Possibly if I'd read through from the beginning, I'd have realised straight away that the person he was talking to on the train was Yvonne, but I didn't, so I was quite confused for the first part of that conversation.
The battle in the church was exciting - great place for a battle. The beginning was a little hard to follow. I couldn't even remember which side Notch was on, at first. This line: "Unwilling to enter open ground where they'd be exposed to the Corneo's superior arms, there was no counterattack as Notch sent the Hell House through the gap, three Enforcers in its wake" puzzled me. I could work out who was unwilling to enter; it seemed to refer to Notch. The parts where the barrel dropped on the Hell House and it exploded, and the parts where Notch was running up the stairs, and fought hand to hand with Marcia Fujeo, was very vivid and I could see it all clearly.
I like Notch/Eric. He's a kind of everyman. Not particularly good at anything, and stuck in a world where he is infinitely disposable because of his ordinariness. I admire his determination to live, and his clear-eyed grasp of his situation. As you know I'm not a big action fan, so my favourite bits are where he's reflecting on what to do next. I loved the idea of the train system being sacrosanct, and the guy living on the train and making a living as a fence. "Nice guy, apparently." Nice touch.
I'm really unclear as to why Notch attacked Yvonne, but once he did, all the rest made sense. Presumably his reasons will be made clear in the next chapter.
Thanks for posting!
| Licoriceallsorts chapter 8 . 8/21/2010
I'm really enjoying the way you interweave this story with the events of the game. Palmer! Your action scenes are well-written and easy to follow. I guess all that practice paid off. But I can't guerss who the Maverick is. Am I supposed to know?
| Licoriceallsorts chapter 7 . 8/21/2010
Hey Clement, I know what they could do. They could leave their weapons in Midgar, and buy new weapons once they were inside Junon!
This chapter was really good. I just loved your lady soldier. She was nails.
I'm so hooked by this plot now.
| Licoriceallsorts chapter 6 . 7/11/2010
Hi Clement, it's LicoriceAllsorts. I realise this story is a little bit old, but I wanted to tell you how much I like it. For me there's nothing more enjoyable than a whole bunch of NPCs going about their daily lives in parallel to the events of the game. I've really enjoyed all the chapters; this one, however, is my favourite. Quite often when I read fanfic I'm unable to visualise the characters going through the motions described, but here I can completely picture Heidegger and Corneo, Rapps and the science department minions in all their pixillated glory. You have a gift for description. The detail is exact, vivid, and never overdone. I can easily imagine Midgar (if it was a real place) being a lot like this. Are you ever going to go on with it, or has it reached the end of its natural life?
| Mysteriouslyabsent chapter 2 . 1/9/2010
Ye-eah! :D I'm loving this so far- maybe I'm just a sucker for gangs-ness, but hey... ;) I like the way you show your familiarity with the fandom in a casual way (Kotch and Skotch, muggers on the train etc) and come up with a reason for the Don to provide info on AVALANCHE that shows there's something in it for him. Plus it's got FF7's gritty edge, but it's tempered with humour and it's well-written. And the ending of the second chapter is lovely. ;) I'll read more when I have time (damn exams), and kudos so far! :D
| Pelican Eel chapter 9 . 4/12/2009
A great original idea!
| Mr. Ite chapter 1 . 3/25/2008
By "Major props" I meant kudos, thanks, congrats etc.
| Mr. Ite chapter 2 . 3/22/2008
Major props for an original idea! This is wonderfully refreshing.
You could benefit from more description. I don't think you are in any danger of being too 'flowery' or 'ramble-icious' if you expand on things, especially since you have a way with words (the first two sentences were just golden) and have an original story to tell. For instance, the small, subtle bit about the five disbanded gangs was a really cool expansion on the slums 'verse, and intriguing as hell. I would love to read more on things like that - things that let the reader know more about the setting or characters - it really helps us get even more connected with the world and care about the characters. And with a cast of new characters, I want to know more about them!
But all in all, it's pretty sweet so far. I'll keep my eye out for more.