|Reviews for The Demon in the Hyuga Clan|
| Freedom Phantom chapter 3 . 3/21/2013
Great chapter! Glad Hinata told them and everythings all right!
| Freedom Phantom chapter 2 . 3/20/2013
Great chapter my man! I loved it!
| Claus chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Although this is only the first chapter of 39, I think I should tell you of how people are treating Hinata worse than (canon) Naruto. To canon Naruto, only the worst would look at him with contempt and usually only for a second or two. They did not try and hurt Naruto, besides maybe the children, because they hated the nine-tails not Naruto. Hinata, being the heir to a well-respected clan, should be respected. On that note, Hinata would have special training both in taijutsu, chakra control, and general knowledge. So the only difference that should be here with Hinata is that Hinata has more chakra and healing, as well as the nine-tails. Also, Hinata's mother had byakugan and was a jounin-level ninja. Besides, the clan is very proper and respectful, so Hinata would still be in contact with her mother, to an extent. I apologize if any of this was covered in the chapter, I like correcting people and the mistakes were snowballing so I read half the first chapter only.
| Master Solo chapter 14 . 12/17/2012
would continue reading if I didn't have to get up tomorrow. Great story so far. I sort of figured that with Hiashi dead and Hizashi still alive, the second daughter would be born in the Branch House. Also figured that Neji is not an evil or hateful person. I totally see the Granny thinking, I got two sons here. They're identical twins. The only difference is that one is power hungry while the other is both power hungry and homicidal.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
| Inu YashaKagome chapter 39 . 11/21/2012
Rewrite your story without Hinata being young forever and grow old and have little Naruto's babys too. But good story without the eyes and be a immortal girl to live a sad live without her lover. And please try your best.
| White Night Dragon chapter 39 . 11/21/2012
Damn, it took me really long to read all this, but... I honestly, sincerely enjoyed every chapter! True, sometimes it was a bit long, but that only added to those feelings I loved to feel during reading it! I'm really sorry you decided not to finish this story properly, but I'm still glad you posted this ending to at least show us how should it ended. Thank you very much for this story.
| PureBlossoms14 chapter 31 . 8/26/2012
ughh tsunade doesnot love pervy sage. Sorry to tell u that because tsunade love dan.
| agnieszka-luv-hp chapter 33 . 8/2/2012
A transplant of eyes? But what about Hinata's byakugan?!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
This looks great so far!
| Guest chapter 39 . 7/3/2012
i hate that you dint put any thought into it because it would be much better if you just wrote it like the rest of the stories
| FreelanceBum chapter 39 . 6/28/2012
Wow who would have thought I would agree with Sakura when she is acting like a bitch to Hinata.
I hated Hinata's characterization throughout the entire story, with the first and most telling part being when she refused to tell Shino and Naruto about Orochimaru in the forest. She never once respected them enough as people or friends to make a decision. She would always rob them of the choice by lying CONSTANTLY to both of them.
That combined with her insecurities made her one of the worst girlfriends I have had the displeasure of reading about. She continued to lie in the relationship, and pussies outs in a horrible fashion. Then she Initiates most of the intimate moments between them, while worrying that the relationship is getting too physical without enough emotional support.
I could rant for probably more than the word count could allow for on how this version of Hinata is pretty terrible person. However, I think I have made my point here.
Sasuke seems a bit flanderized in his evilness and stupidity, but I find that fairly consistant with the source material. So good job, I guess.
Jiraiya teaching Hinata sage mode and summoning kind of bothered me, but I'm not sure why. I still feel that should have gone to Naruto. Not really the biggest of concerns though.
Chapter 39 never gave what happened to Nagato. Or Konan. However I guess outline is outline, and thank you for posting it even as the biggest wall of text ever.
It takes a lot of chapters to distinguish itself from team 8, and as I said I really, really didn't like Hinata in this story. I'm glad you wrote, sorry you got so much crap from people about it, and hope you have less shit like that in your future stories. Overall very well done.
| FreelanceBum chapter 4 . 6/23/2012
Flame flame, rip off of team 8, etc so forth.
Ok, thats out of the way. I kind of like the distant father figure in the fourth, in most fics with alive!minato Minato is basically the greatest thing since sliced Orochimaru. That sad why would Naruto still be ostracized in class. He is top of the class relatively attractive, and son of the Hokage. I can see it pissing him off to be liked for the last part, but that isn't the angle you went for. Meh, not a large point but I can live for it.
I also feel the team pulled together too quickly to be realistic, seems to have happened in the course of 7 hours . That isn't a heck of a lot of time.
I'm not sure how I feel about Hibana yet so no comment there.
Shino is too far in the background, but I guess thats Shino for you.
Enjoying your work so far, and as much as I hate to say it even with my mild joke above I hope to see it distinctly pull away from resembling team 8. I've read and reread team 8 so much that it is hard to not notice similarities
| Alltariss chapter 39 . 6/12/2012
Considering that is removing a lot of fics since they're too lazy to implement decent age restrictive measures, I'm at least happy that you gave some form of a conclusion to your fic. It gives the readers some idea of how things would have panned out until the end.
I really enjoyed reading your fic and congratulate you on writing a wonderful tale.
| Shinatouzumaki chapter 39 . 5/8/2012
Good story it sucks how u didn't carry on though