|Reviews for Where I Belong|
| me chapter 9 . 8/21
THANKS FOR THE WICKED REFERENCES MY GOD THEY WERE PERFECT
| DisneySoul4996 chapter 4 . 8/12/2014
I like the pace this story is going at. Good Job :)
| GardevoirLove4ever chapter 23 . 4/26/2014
Beautiful, simply beautiful! ;w;
This is an awesome story, keep up the good work! w
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/26/2014
I really really love this
| IHaveCookieInMyEye chapter 5 . 6/24/2013
This is a cute story. Caught the reference immediately, good movie lol
| Fire's Shadow123 chapter 23 . 5/25/2013
I loved it! Absolutely loved it!
| Dreaming-Paradise chapter 8 . 3/23/2013
you have an ipod? Woohoo I'm notthe only fanfiction person with an ipod! anyway great chapter
| Dreaming-Paradise chapter 4 . 3/23/2013
lol,my sister covered her mouth and ran off from this story anyways I love this story favorites
| Darling Dani chapter 23 . 2/26/2013
It was so beautiful.
| Emily chapter 5 . 11/23/2012
This is a really good story. I understand that it's already completed but I still like to comment... Why is King Triton trying to marry off Ariel when she's got 6 older (single) sisters?... Just wondering...
| Silver Wolf 626 chapter 15 . 10/1/2012
Nice use of the Enchanted quote
| Silver Wolf 626 chapter 5 . 10/1/2012
I recognized those quotes right off the bat!
| Silver Wolf 626 chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
Interesting...I can't wait to see what happens next
| jerry533482 chapter 23 . 4/30/2012
I've stumbled upon this tale several years ago and of course finished it and loved it; in another recent binge on some of my old all-time favs, finally I have decided this story is quite deserving of a review.
I loved how so much of the plot directly went the same as the movie in so many ways; yet ariel and eric were both perfectly aware of each other and their feelings for each other for the most part. It was like watching back to the future only fresh and new and in a classical disney tale. :) It did feel a bit rushed in the first 3 chapters given how quickly ariel's relationship was developed, but it indeed paid off. And then ariel lost her memory when she became human...making a dilemma just like the movie where ariel can't fully express herself. And then Jordan in effect created the finale, otherwise ariel would have been completely unobligated to hurry her progress with eric and an end was plotted; and even so the story subtly kept the limits of the movie (eg 3 days, the kiss, etc). Excellent original villain btw; I also actually enjoyed how sebastian, flounder, and Scuttle were mostly left out. They appear in EVERY fanfic I've seen, it's actually almost annoying. Instead the story focused on ariel and eric, much like romeo and juliet. It's alot like a good tv series; depending on the episode very seldom is the entire cast seen, each character has their own moments. They keep the characters fresh adn dont overuse them. This fic probably bettered by sticking to majorly ariel and eric (i dont really see how well it could play out if she'd been in constant communication with her sea-friends like in the movie while she was on land anyways). The ending i'm really neutral on, but looking back at it I'd have to say you handled it pretty well. In a lot of ways ariel and eric switched roles (eric was the one fully aware of their love in the time they were together on land, in the ultimate ending eric lived under the sea, etc). But yeah, a very entertaining and HQ original spin on TLM to keep us arielholics entertained. :)
Dreaming Wide Awake, you have exceptional skill for writing. Plus the fact that you churned this entire story out in what, 6 months? That's disciplined quality control and production right there. My main terminator story i've been working on since 2009 is still only 2/3rds done, my updates come once every couple months. It'll probably be about as long as Where I Belong. I don't know what your situation is with writing nowadays, but nonetheless it'd be awesome if you could make more of these. Not necessarily TLM, but still, more stories.
6/5 stars ftw!
| Rhine Lei chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
This is a very cute story and I am enjoying it, but I would like to offer my opinion on your writing if you don't mind. You use descriptions well. Sayings like "her reflection was clear as water itself" give a fantastic mental image of Ariel, but you repeat some words a lot. "He didn't stop playing, of course, because he was afraid he was afraid he'd scare it off, but he still wondered who/what it was, nonetheless." Using 'Of course' and 'none the less' is unnecessary. It is an issue I was always harped on during my writing work shops and it took me a while to understand. We feel the need to over explain things so that the audience understands, but in this situation you are not giving them enough credit. We can follow his thought process, and if you are using 'of course' you are implying that this is an obvious point. It weakens your writing, which I rather like and think you can continue to improve and grow into a truly wonderful author.