|Reviews for Of Their Sense of Things|
| Sardonic Kender Smile chapter 5 . 11/2/2008
Way to completely pick the same pairing for the same sense as me. And then post it first. Why, I oughta...oh, wait, it's KentxLyn! (zooms off to read it) :D
D'AWW, this is adorable already. Lyn sneaking up on Sain like she's flippin' James Bond...HAHAHAHA and Sain's reaction! I could totally see that-oh, it's so perfect.
"Partially-masicated"...did you mean "masTicated"? xD GOTCHA. Although you don't lose any points in the Video Game of Life, since you've already used the word "felonious" in this fic (which I was quite delighted about).
BAHAHAHA SACAEN KISSES. Now WHY does that sound familiar? xD That's...so excellent. And Sain having to whisper it into her ear is cute beyond belief.
"Stomach threatened to wage a projectile war on his esophagus..." EXCELLENT. I almost lol'd. Except...I'd wake everybody up. The dialogue between Sain and Kent was straight-up amazing, also.
KENT. WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE.
Okay. So here's the overall-ness. I spotted a few typos, but guess what? I DON'T EVEN CARE. Because your dialogue was incredible, your characterization was flawless (especially in Lyn's case...I really loved her spitting cherry pits. It was so...unbecoming of a lady xD.), it's funny as all get-out, your description was brilliant and made me imagine absolutely everything...oh. And it's KentxLyn. Aka excellent job and congratulations for finishing and HUZZAH.
| Xirysa chapter 5 . 10/31/2008
SO. You're done! Yay! And on the last day, too. You made it! [tacklehugglomp]
I read the word "cherries" and was like... Mm. One of my favorite fruits. (Because cherries would be fruits, right? Seeing as berries are defined as having multiple seeds on the outside of the flesh of the plant and cherries have pits on the inside, cherries are most definitely fruits. And this was a conversation I had in my anatomy class with some of my friends the other day, too. Talk about deja vu...)
And then I read that she put the stem in her mouth and was like "HAI WAIT WUT?" I had a feeling it would have to be something like that, but still...
Oh, poor Sain. But that's what you get for trying to steal so much food! [looks away innocently] What? I've got an obscenely fast metabolism! And besides... Everyone I know (teachers at school included) already knows that I'm a voracious eater. Really, I'm notorious for it. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT HERE.
What really matters is that the mental image I got of Sain at that point made me squeal like a small child. Really, really loved it. Aw... Sain. I love you.
Anyway, congratulations once again on completing the challenge, and thank you so much for participating! Keep writing, love!
| Kitten Kisses chapter 5 . 10/31/2008
Oh, yay! So you're giving me something to do before work. Good thing, too, because I forgot to throw my clean uniforms into the dryer last night, so they're currently drying. I just have to remind myself to put them on before leaving for work.
Note to self: if I don't feel like a giant unattractive marshmallow on the way to my car, I must not be wearing my uniform.
Anyway, I'm almost shocked that you got this done! You make me proud, heehee.
[He dared to make a plea," Lady Lyn, please don't tell Madam C-"] The only mistake here is the [plea," Lady Lyn] instead of [plea, "Lady Lyn].
["Lady Lyn, perhaps someone else is better suited..."] Ahahaha, poor Sain isn't getting away with it.
[writhe like a basket of snakes] Good grief, what a simile! Hahaha!
[his stomach threatened to wage a projectile war on his esophagus] That's a comparison I'll not soon forget.
[As Sain watched his friend walk down the hall, he couldn't help but call out, "I hope you like cherries!" He received no response.] LMAO. Poor unsuspecting Kent.
Heehee. And here I thought she might be persuaded to leave if he let her tie a cherry stem in a knot in his mouth. Er... You can throw a brick at me now, if you like. [brick'd]
Well, this was cute, anyway. And hurrah for cherry stems! Kent's in for a world of awesome, that's all I've got to say about that. (You might want to inform him, though, that it'd be more comfortable to make out without his armor on.)
[Dodges a second brick]
But yay, you're done! And on time, too! And it was good. (And on the last day, Qieru updated 'fic. And she saw it as good.)
Er...yes. Anyway, keep up the good work, especially tomorrow when NaNo rolls around!
| Xirysa chapter 4 . 10/29/2008
He Adorabibibible. (And yes, "adorabibibible" is a word. I just made it up.)
So... What to say that sounds remotely useful...?
There are some parts that sound a bit rushed, but they weren't totally distracting. And I really like how you described the entire healing process. I mean, it's not just [waves magic wand around] [POOF!] "Ur all bettar now!11one Go haves cande"
Which is a good thing. And making Lyndis so concerned after figuring out Kent was injured? Oh...
LOL'd AT THIS [Before he could make any sort of objection, Serra had preyed upon him, beginning her own, 'professional', inspection, clicking her tongue in disapproval. It seemed the he too would not be leaving the tent for some period of time. At least, however, he would be able to watch over his lady this way and ensure her safety through the night.] And the bit at the end was too cute. Aw...
I wants me a Kent. Or a Heath. Or even a Sain. But mostly a Heath. [shot]
ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT. GO. WRITE. RIGHT. NOW.
| Sardonic Kender Smile chapter 4 . 10/23/2008
Why are you so good at this? Blast. It's all just so cute.
Umm, I'm going to get the concrit out of the way first (and I wish I didn't feel so obliged to offer concrit when I review stuff, but we're doing a lot of that in English and the flute player in me would eat my brain if I couldn't find something to improve, so...). Anyways, there are a lot of places where you have thoughts that feel as if they are being crammed together, such as:
"He vaguely heard someone address him, but he paid them no mind, that is, he didn't until he felt his horse jerk beneath him." Or: "He hastened to her side, she seemed well enough from a distance, but he could not be sure." It's mainly just a sort-of awkward use of commas, and not deciding where one train of thought or action ends and another begins. However, I noticed that as the fic progressed, you settled into a steadier flow and this problem went away.
Now for the praise! Lessee, there was a LOT of this that I liked. AKA all of it. I really like how your characters talk, for one thing. When, instead of "is Lyn in thar?", Kent said "Is she within?" I was like "YES!" So good! You write Kent very well-I liked the little "nicknames" he had earned (Sir Serious...no lie!) as well as the line Kent was thinking when he found out about the landslide: "...for everyone's negligence. Unacceptable. Everything." That was SO Kent-terse and angered by stupidity. For it is indeed quite angering.
And how he stays with her-! Aw! AW! He's so sweet! Lyn is really great, too, in this...trying to stay brave and lighthearted in a painful situation. Speaking of the pain...I LOVED how you described the healing process-how it's not just "wave the staff and the bleeding stops zomg !one21!". The details were excellent. I never thought that healing would be so painful, but hey—a LOT of medical stuff is painful. Like shots. They suck, but they make you better. Well, actually, they introduce the virus to your system and chances are you’ll get sick anyway, which also sucks. But that’s not my point.
Your imagery is excellent, and I think your take on Sight was very unique and well-portrayed. It’s also adorable how the WHOLE time Kent is looking for/after Lyn…and then when she can see, the first thing she notices is that HE needs to be looked after. ADORABLE.
Okay, well, I’ve rambled enough (at least until I answer your PM! xD). Good luck with your last chapter!
| Kitten Kisses chapter 4 . 10/22/2008
Hi Fence! Heehee. I'm sorry I didn't leave a review yet. I called off of work today, so I slept in a little bit longer and such. Now I'm watching some bored octopus they're trying to give things to do... Uhm...yes.
But now...now I'm ready for this!
["Lady Lyndis, are you well?"] Kent is like a concerned ninja.
[passel of human wretches] I couldn't help but picture like, Florina and Nino and the other cute, innocent looking characters when I read that.
[All three of the lords affected and no one else had been near enough to stop it. There was no excuse. All of them could have died, may still die, for everyone's negligence. Unacceptable. Everything.] I like this. Especially the short, choppy, one-word thoughts. They're very Kent-like.
[and composed himself..] You accidentally have two period's there.
[She had been expecting him, unsaid words followed, hanging in the air.] And I think that instead of a comma after "expecting him", a semi-colon would be better, maybe?
[I trust you can behave yourself until then.] LOL! SERRA! Hahaha, that sounds like her, doesn't it?
[She smiled up at him and reached towards his face, making motions indicating she wanted him to bend down over her, an inclination he readily obeyed.] It would be just like Lyn to be so mature and...I don't know...spirited, maybe? Yeah, even though she probably feels like crap. I like that Kent's obedient, too. She trained him well. [shot]
["Even so, better myself than you, Lady Lyndis."] Damn, that's sad. But it's Kent-esque, so no complaints from me. Of course, that's how most good, loving men feel about their women, eh?
[Her brows raised with concern and... hurt? "No, Kent. My life is not worth that of anyone else's and certainly not yours. You do not need to think such things."] Shut up, I like quoting things. Anyway, I like this line...well, these two lines, because first, by saying she's concerned and hurt by his words, it shows us that she is hurt that he would say such a thing. Not that it's a negative thing at all, because it's definitely not. I'm sure it'd be very flattering, not to mention touching, for someone else to say, "I wish it had been me". (Or in André's case, heh heh, "I'm glad it was me and not you".) But the really great part is that she says her life isn't worth that of anyone else's. I love that. Not only is that very much like something Lyn would say and believe, it's something I think she would not hesitate to say, especially to the people who are ready to give their lives for her- Kent, Sain, Florina, Wil. And maybe even others, like Nino or Ninian! I could see, though, how it would hurt her to see and hear Kent saying (although he probably doesn't intend it to quite sound so horrible) that his life is worth less than hers, therefore it should have been him in her place.
Oh, but Lyn, if he was there, maybe he could have protected you a little bit. You know he would have thrown himself over her in a second! But at the same time, she's probably just glad he's not hurt at all.
[If she denied him his purpose, then what was her true impression of him? What was her impression of herself? Duty aside, even, he regarded it an honor to serve and protect her. She was worth it. And yet... it seemed to trouble her.] I like these lines, too, but I don't have to explain why, because the answer is so obvious. [She was worth it.] was my favorite bit there.
[He was not entirely sure what his appropriate response should be, though he settled for stroking her knuckles lightly with his thumb.] Aw, poor Kent doesn't know what to do...
[what he might possibly due that would] Heehee, "do".
Ahahaha, Kent, you adorable man. Dang, where can I find one of my own? Heehee. Well, I like this, and you ended it in a good way! I like that Lyn was all concerned about him and a little bit of blood. That's very much like her.
Anyway, other things I liked was seeing a more "mature" Lyn. Though I can't deny I love the sweeter, flightier Lyndis, seeing the more stable, down-to-earth side of her was nice, too.
PS. For the first time ever, my cat is sitting on my lap on this couch, and she's using my hand as her pillow, and I have to like, move her to hit submit. Heehee.
| Xirysa chapter 3 . 10/8/2008
It's been... A week already... And... The gorgeous review I had put in earlier hasn't been sent? LE GASP.
I'm sorry. Don't hate me. Please.
Anyway, I now take the time to send in a new (AND BETTER) review! As my younger sister watches me over my shoulder.
Alright. She's gone. Now. Back to the review.
Rain is probably one of my favorite sounds. There's just something about it that's so nice and peaceful sounding...
Ahahaha, Lyndis would be so hard to corner and dress up. And then if she messed up whatever it was she was wearing... Oh my. What a chore that would be.
XD Embarrased!Kent! Oh my. I love it. I wish to see more of it.
Ick. Eric. Stupid-[censorcensorcensor].
Wish I could write a better review, but sadly... I'm short on time. I'm excited to see the last two chapters!
| Sardonic Kender Smile chapter 1 . 10/1/2008
Hey look, you exist!
Sorry about that...xD...it's just, a little bird told me (a little bird that likes to give KITTEN KISSES. UBER-COUGH.) that you were following MY senses fic...and then I saw that you were writing one, and even though you seem to have two other chapters of it, I don't ever remember seeing this before...so, of course, I completely pounced on it ).
First of all...you win. Because it's KentxLyn. And awesomely written. So...that's plus fifteen win points, I believe. I should go back and review the first two chapters individually, but I'm running low on time, so I hope you don't mind if I just say what I thought here. I really like how you write Lyn-incredibly stubborn, and in a rather childish light. Kent is adorable as always, of course...(I snorted at the smell chapter. It was so cute. My mom used to try to trick me into drinking my medicine, too, but...my mom ain't Kent and I SO did not fall for it xD.)
Now, for Sound! It sure kicked the crap out of my chapter, that's for sure...the sound references weren't subtle, but they were VERY well done, I could picture everything perfectly (who says it has to be subtle, anyway?). And the dynamics between Eliwood, Hector, Lyn and Florina were awesome. And Eric is a creepster.
One tiny thing I noticed...this sentence here: [His accouterments were far inadequate for any amount of protection, and, without his customary style and expanse of armor, he felt a little exposed.] It seemed a bit off, to me, to suddenly read a sentence from Kent's point of view. Since the story is told from Lyn's eyes, perhaps instead of directly stating how Kent would feel (something that only Kent would know), you could have written "he seemed/felt/looked/etc. a little exposed." And whatnot. But that's such a minor detail...excellent job, overall! I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
| Kitten Kisses chapter 3 . 10/1/2008
Hello there, you!
It's about time. I was so ready to read this this morning, and then...nothing! I was so disappointed that I went back to sleep for an extra half-hour. (And I really needed it, too.)
Anyway, I only found one mistake:
["L-Lyn! Um... did... did I not make it lose enough?"
That's it, Florina. Keep going.
"Loose" in the first and third sentences instead of "Lose", but it's just a typo...thing, so no worries there.
Of course, you know what I think. THIS IS EPIC. Lyn's so cute and devious and I love seeing her like that. Kent's concerned and SERIOUS and still sweet, and I like that too. Hector's loud, Florina's amazing, and Eliwood is useless. Oh, wait...Hector's useless too. I almost forgot.
Miriam is too cute, too. She's awesome.
All in all, a great story. I expect more soon. Like, ASAP. But I'll pester you daily on AIM 'bout that, so don't concern yourself too much with this epic-lame review.
| Shimizu Hitomi chapter 2 . 8/29/2008
Oh, lol! I loved this. So cute. XD I remember reading the first one in your LJ too and meant to comment, but I think it was an older post and I forgot. Or something. I have no excuse!
But anyway, I love the way you capture that unabashedly curious aspect of Lyn's personality. And Kent... Hee.
| Kitten Kisses chapter 2 . 8/29/2008
Heehee, you know I waited for this...
Anyway, these are my favorite lines:
No No. That wasn't fair. She wasn't allowed to bring him in.
That was cheating.]
But you probably knew that. Epic. Absolutely epic. And like I said before...Lyn's characterization is awesome; she's so amusing. And Kent... Kent is win. Seriously. Him and his seriousness, being all concerned and willing to help. That's why we love him, right? Right?
I guess this means I should write a KentLyn 'fic again sometime soon, eh? Everyone else is beating me to it! D
| Xirysa chapter 2 . 8/29/2008
Bwahahaha... Your 'fic totally owns mine. Simply epic. Sorry for a lack-luster review, but...
Hehehe I love how childishly Lyn acts throughout the entire thing. Freakin' hilarious. And Kent has to make take the elixer! This made my day.
| Xirysa chapter 1 . 8/29/2008
Oh, Kitten Kisses told me you were writing this... And now that I'm reading this, I am in awe of your style. Speaking of which... Manna, that was NOT a short review! Alright, done there.
Yes, I realize that you said that this was an old work, but... In my own senses 'fic, I actually rewrote an older work of mine and warped it around for some of the senses. And yours is KentLyn too? Sweetness. There's not enough of it in the world.
I'd really like to know which senses you found harder than others-for me, it was sight. But then... I thought they were all challenging in their own way.
Anyway, I'm excited to read more! Keep up the awesome work!
...And I still can't believe how many people are actually doing this challenge... O.o
| Ceres 82.1 chapter 1 . 3/24/2008
Aww..nice fic you have there.
Although there were hints of sensuality..the writing, narrative, and description is great.
And you had a nice pairing too.
| Frog-kun chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Wow, sheer great writing! They way you describe emotions and settings and all that! I usually give long-winded reviews reviews but I can't think right now...