|Reviews for Never Leave a Man Behind|
| firstdragonrider chapter 1 . 3/29/2009
That was a very good short fic that gave great inside to how Jack must of really felt. You did a fabulouse job on describing his feelings! Keep up the good work!
| PatriciaS chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Should think Jack would feel like that seeing his team go through the gate. Nicely thought out and done. Thanks for sharing.
| Altum chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Not bad. I'm not intimately familiar with Stargate (I saw the movie and I saw the original show in bits and pieces, collectively maybe nothing longer than an episode and a half, and I've seen even less of Atlantis), but I do recognize the characters (I think) and I understand the situation, so I'm pretty sure I follow you in this, haha. Kudos?
[squeezes his lungs until he’s finding it hard to breathe correctly] - I think turning that to "he finds" rather than "he's finding" is less jarring, not to mention more in line with your other sentences throughout.
[god’s sake!] - Christian God, or something similar? Most monotheistic religions would capitalize God, but I'm not sure if I'm missing something.
The parenthesis I rarely see in actual prose, but you handled them well. I might have used hyphens instead, maybe, but that's just stylistic difference.
Everything else was well done.