|Reviews for Paradox|
| reincarnatedpharaoh chapter 4 . 7/17
I really like this story...now I understand why yugiohpedia had separated Atem(Atemu) from Yami for they are two different people. From what I understood from the last chapter, Atem sent Yugi to the future so that when they met, Atem would be like rewritten.
I was asking because I can't wait. When will you update this story again? I like this story so much and can't wait for another chapter to be added.
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/29
:( I thought it was being continued? been over a year since last update...
| xxSirenxx chapter 4 . 3/23
Lol what happened to it not taking years to update? I had forgotten how much I love this fic so if you could I'd love an update.
| Meredith Caerwyn chapter 4 . 2/23
Let me start of this review by saying that I know only the bare bones of Yu-Gi-Oh story (my knowledge of it can be summed up in two sentences: "I know only important character names" and "I am vaguely familiar with the card game") and history has never been my strong suit. That said, I still find myself completely enthralled by this story.
Part of that is the idea of time travel, one of my favorite story ideas. Another part is the potential of the relationship between Yugi and Atem, their dynamics, but no matter how good the idea or how big the potential the thing that kept me reading was your writing. It is wonderful. I especially liked the newest chapter. Even 6 (or is it 7 now?) years ago, while unpolished, your writing had a certain charm to it, some kind of spark.
The fact that I kept reading despite my unfamiliarity with Egyptian history and ignorance of Yu-Gi-Oh should tell you how much I like this story.
I eagerly await the next chapter,
| Hooh chapter 4 . 12/22/2014
This is amazing. I could ramble about all the things I adore in this fanfic, but more than anything, I am extremely grateful that you still updated...after six years. :P
| shelwyn chapter 4 . 11/18/2014
Don't worry about updating, you have the rest of your life to write after all.
| Chasing chapter 4 . 10/18/2014
Fascinating dynamic! Very unique, as far as the fandom is concerned. Write on :)
| Sin chapter 4 . 10/3/2014
Hope next chapter will be up soon.
| mute-by-choice chapter 4 . 8/10/2014
So, um, from the authors note at the end it sounds like you need inspiration/suggestions. From the flow of the story it sounds like Atem needs bonds with other people he can trust. So to me it seems to me that Yugi's job is to help him form those bonds. Set's father aside, Atem's advisors seem like good candidates for this. And the plan that the original Atem came up with to get Yugi to his side wouldn't have worked without their loyalty anyway. Mahado and Mana sacrificed themselves and became Duel Monsters for him and then fought for him serving as his soldiers in the future. Set became Pharaoh, caring for his kingdom and his people. And it always seemed to me that someone would need to create the gate to the underworld and leave clues like set's memory stone behind so that people would know that Zorc would come and that he would need to be sealed. As Pharaoh Set was the person in position to do those things. Then Reincarnated as Seto he had a harsh life and became fiercely independent with a harsh personality but even so came through for Yugi when he was needed (after his wake up call). Shimon, I don't know much about, but from what we are told of Yugi's home life his reincarnation seems to be the one who raised Yugi, taught him right from wrong, inspired hope in him before he had friends, and made sure he never went hungry. Isis's descendants (at least in this story) guarded Atem's Tomb for generations and her reincarnation assisted in putting together the clues to end Zorc and then in convincing Yugi to go back in time. Shaadi existed as a ghost for over 3000 years in order to carry out Atem's will and send Yugi back to him. Atem's plan didn't account for the reality of what being trapped in the puzzle would do to his memory's and his sanity, and without his advisors he would have been completely lost. These people are more than just loyal, they're devoted. Imagine what they would/could do if Yugi manages to convince Atem that it's okay to need assistance and to let them help him.
| Una Chica con Internet chapter 1 . 8/6/2014
I really love your history! plz continue!
I love your headcanons, and I would like to see Yuugi helping Atem grow like the original history with the planotic love x3
sorry for my bad english
| mikidagreat chapter 4 . 7/28/2014
This is such a tough story to review because, on the one hand, the first three chapters were written so long ago, and it was difficult to put up with the grammatical errors in the first scene alone. On the other hand... this chapter really impressed me. Halfway through reading, I noticed how polished your words have become-I had seen glimpses of that in the previous chapters, but there was something really quite poetic about how you wrote this.
I think that it's one thing to be able to write grammatically well, but it's another thing to write stories imbued with a certain charm and beauty. Congratulations on becoming a published author! I can only imagine how skillful a writer you are in your native language.
As for comments on plot points or characterization: kudos to you for how well you research everything that goes into this story. I really commend your patience and effort in making this a realistic fanfic because, even though Paradox is ""just fanfiction,"" this brings so much depth to the story and adds to my enjoyment. Oh! I just have to mention that I love Sa-ad, who is so adorable and funny and charismatic it's hard to believe he's not a fully fledged member of the Yu-Gi-Oh! cast. He also sounds super dreamy. :D I don't have any particular requests for the Atem/Yugi relationship-I trust in your creativity and judgement to not make this (overly, haha) cheesy or cliche. I'm enjoying what's in this so far, anyway. I think this story has a lot of potential and that it's in capable hands.
I'm definitely looking forward to the rest of this story. Good luck with everything!
| eclipsed flower chapter 4 . 7/26/2014
sweet baby jesus
i am so very happy to see you continue writing this c:
i really can't well, eloquence, so im just dropping a word of tremendous thanks, because the way you handle your writing and the politics and most of all, your characterizations excite me too much
(and really, i just want to see where you're going to go with atem and yuugi's relationship. heh. incestuous edge indeed)
just- thank you for your beautiful writing and plot and if i don't stop now, this'll just be a paragraph of incoherent gushing.
| one123 chapter 3 . 6/17/2014
can you please leave of historic battles and all that because yu gi oh is fiction and to that this story is a fiction of a fiction so it will need a lot of creativity maybe even fake country's
| Cacau1005 chapter 4 . 5/24/2014
Oh, I'm so glad to see you're continuing this. For some reason, I never received the alert on my email about an update, so only now I discovered you posted a new chapter. Despite it's shortness, it made me sooo happy :).
So, I really liked how you worded this story. Well, at this point, most of your stories that I read I liked, but this one is super special since I am a great Puzzleshipper. But what I really liked was the background you gave to Egypt and to the characters themselves.
We all know that Atem was very young when he sacrificed himself. But I thought truly amazing that you thought about the implications. Indeed, why would Atem sacrifice himself? In the anime, there are many things left out of the background. The idea that the government of Kemet only had it's Pharaoh and it's seven priests as commanding power, as it was implied... There wasn't a real basis of the real Egypt at all in any part of the Memory World. So, while I'm not sure if what you're writing is true (about the Council), it does give us a base to rest on.
I never thought it would be instant fluff and, indeed, I would be heavily disappointed if it were. There are huge gaps between Atem and Yugi, for a number of reasons. First, his past with Yami, that grew to become a very different person than Atem. Yami became used to Yugi and his world even before he regained his memories. Not only that, but according to your story, Atem spent 8 years "half-souled". The only reason i imagine he didn't go to the level of Season-0!Yami (even more terrifying considering he has the backing of a country behind him) is because of hope. Hope that I imagine slowly thawed as the years passed.
Becoming Pharaoh at 10 years old, and without his "light" as well, Atem didn't become very... kind. I can imagine a lot of fights in the future when Yugi discovers Atem's treatment of the slaves.
They both love each other, certainly, but they are strangers. Until they can fit in a mold of their own (if they ever can) I imagine there will be a lot of fights and concessions. And that, without all the confusions that will happen along the story itself (like the rebellion).
Oooh, I'm getting shivers of my own. Fangirl alert, I suppose. I hope you'll update soon D.
ps: sorry for the orthography. English isn't my first language.
| Sin chapter 4 . 5/19/2014
I wish you good luck in your stories. I like them all but many of them are not completed yet. I hope to see them full. Please continue this story. It's the most interesting in this fandom.