Reviews for Cloud Age Symphony |
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![]() ![]() ![]() You used terms quite oddly when you were writing this. "mist still thick and LADEN against the ground", "machine had been DECKED open" "Puissant, SALIENT power" "he was a rotund, OBTUSE man" "his forehead GATHERED sweat" "Well played, little girl." said Pein, although he didn't look particularly JUDICIOUS about it." If English is your second language, you did really wonderfully, and I salute you. I've enjoyed the story quite a lot. You write well. I do keep tripping over terms that might seem suitable if you go by their FORMAL definition, but don't work when considered through a colloquial lens. "Deck", used as a verb, can mean "to decorate", or "to hit someone very hard, causing them to fall." Used as a noun, it means "a flat surface that forms the main outside floor of a boat or ship. "Laden" means "heavily loaded or weighed down. You can MAKE A CASE for the use of some of these terms, but you have to twist around a bit to do so. (Or do a Google search for synonyms, and then plug them in carelessly, which might not entirely convey the correct meaning.) Colloquially, an English speaker wouldn't say a street was "laden" with mist, as the term is generally used to refer to something or someone that is loaded down with a heavy burden. If a writer wanted to be paraphrastic and circumlocutory (That is, to "overdo" his word use, ie; get entirely too fancy), s/he might say "obfuscated". It would be more clear to say than "hidden" or "heavy". (If English was your first language when you wrote this, I bet you've ditched the thesaurus, and are writing more "naturally" now.) |
![]() ![]() ![]() it's not "chai teait's just 'chai 'or 'tea' |
![]() ![]() In fact, the name Naruto does not come from Icha Icha, but from Jiraiya's first novel, the strong perseverance ninja biography |
![]() ![]() ![]() Bruh what? So anyone can learn the basics of Mokuton? Wtf? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh, so it's somewhere before the Pain arc but after the tenchi bridge arc but everyone is just aged up a bit. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Naruto is 18 years old, Jiraiya is still alive and training him, Sasuke is a Konoha shinobi, and he doesn't recognise Pain or Konan? Seems the timeline was already weird before Naruto started time travelling. Also, Hanzo's reign would've already been common knowledge for a long time before this so there's no reason to try to hide that and make the dinosaur joke. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So nobody in the entirely of shinobi existence has ever snapped their fingers while using chakra? |
![]() ![]() Wow, this was so great... |
![]() ![]() Oh my goodness Well we’ll We meet again |
![]() ![]() Now it really hurts Minato when he realizes Naruto won’t see them again, when they died..he won’t see him again.. |
![]() ![]() I wasn’t expecting this well they did it But what happened, and why do I hope Sasuke gets what he deserves… interventionn |
![]() ![]() Ah, what a speedy fast big brain leap indeed. We're just getting the blood to confirm the insanity of yes, of all the things, this |
![]() ![]() wah. We meet again. |
![]() ![]() I’m glad it ended on a cliffhanger, because my eyes were running away from me and now I have to go Next chapter! who And It hurts to see Sasuke But I hope and wish that Sasuke is thinking like he always did Like Shikamaru, like a friend, coming with his own thoughts about his old friend The mention before of Naruto wanting to talk about it with Sasuke..lol remember seeing his mom xD yeah talk about that, or Naruto thinking about Kakashi not remembering him or acting, but a really good actor..in that case.. he remembered a 1000 years of said anything But Naruto will be back, after two years?! And sandaime has sort of given hop,e yes, though dwelling on it now, only makes it hurt slightly less..two years.. |
![]() ![]() That last sentence hurts, a lot. And I feel Kakashi is on another page, but is Naruto paying him less attention because he knows him? Miss Kakashi3 I wonder what his memories are of this.. |