Reviews for Mafia Princess
AnnabethCullen349 chapter 4 . 3/9/2014
Hahah so I'm reading your story - which is awesome btw! And I live in NJ and when u said Bella was from Lakewood I started laughing really hard because I live in a couple towns over from there by the beach and I started laughing because I don't know if u made up the town or not but Lakewood NJ is where the gangs and mafias are! I just thought it was crazy that you said Lakewood! Anyway. Carry on! :)
booksxforxlife chapter 7 . 2/27/2013
Hahahaha! That's so funny! At first when she said OHMYCARLISLEYOURINLOVEWITHHE R! I thought you were saying Carlisle was in love with her! It confused me and I thought it was Carlisle who was saying her blush is beautiful. :) Great job so far!
Twimima7 chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
I like your story and yes it is a different mafia princess. Charlie trying to marry her off is not going to work as far as she is concern. Let's see what she will do.
tinkerbear10 chapter 13 . 3/15/2012
omg u had to end it like that. i love it alot alot and hope there is soo much more to it!
Yesthosearehornsundermyhalo chapter 13 . 1/8/2011
Writers block sucks, so simply let me help you. I am an English Literature major at college so I have got heaps of experience. Now not to be rude I think where you went wrong was starting the relationship between Edward and Bella so quickly, maybe a little more time would have been better, anyway! Where I would go next, ONE Let Alice take Bella shopping without Edward. let them begin to have a normal time when Alice suddenly visions someone attacking them in the shop, a russian Mafia preferably. Then before Ali can stop it they swoop in and kidnap Bella. Bella without time to reacts cannot put up a fight until they are holding her in a "room" her Mafia instincts kick in and she shoots them all before Edward gets there to save her. Making Bella stronger in her Character. Transform Bella into a Lara croft character, she has the experience. TWO Make Dalton / Jason really dislike Edward and make them have a fight where he demands he stays away from Bella, then force Bella to stay with Jacob for a while to get some distance. Jacob can be trained in Martial Arts and he convinces Bella to learn, though the whole time Bella is sneaking out to meet up with Edward in Secret as he can't go on the Reservation. THREE Make Tony and Ang go on a wild goose chase trying to find Bella with Tony realizing along the way his feelings for Ang, though he tried to deny them he can't! FOUR Get the Mafia to send a message to Bell saying they have her father and he is only just alive she must give herself for him. After all her Martial Arts training and gun power she decides she will go, not to sacrifice herself but to kill the mafia holding her father. Get Jacob and Edward to come together to help Bella track down her father and kill the bad guys! FOUR Once Charlie is found and the bad guys killed bring him back where Dalton / Jason and him have a fight over who is the better father! Then Bella must choose, does she return to Italy with her dad to live the Mafia life she hates, or does she stay with Jason to have the normal life she wants. That's all I got so far, if you need anymore help I am an email away! I would really take Bella and make her a kick ass kind of girl! Make her come out of her shell and become a flirty, kick ass, strong willed girl who will have Edward and Jacob drooling even more! Seriously I would love to help you, your story is fantastic! I have some more different ideas which will take the story in a different direction if you don't like that but personally that's where I would go. okay I think i will have exhausted you by now with all of this. Have a wonderful day!
Edward-Jacob4ever01 chapter 13 . 8/21/2010
pls continue soon! pls hurry!
nicole1962 chapter 12 . 2/27/2010
nicole1962 chapter 13 . 2/27/2010
nice tory:)
Eve1313 chapter 12 . 12/24/2009
I like this story a lot. You need to continue it. Why don't you just revise the last part of chapter 12 to *She sat next to me...* instead of *I patted the seat next to me...* and that way Jason can tell Bella that it's nothing to worry about, and she can go on her shopping trip with Alice and Edward the next chapter, then the chapter after that could be of Jason, Chris, Tony, and Angela meeting up to talk (or something else), and then have a chapter of Mike and his sister maybe explaining their plan. These are all just suggestions, and you ain't gotta go with it. Again, I love your story!
the-hottest-cullen-girl chapter 13 . 11/24/2009
i love it
MissAlyssaCullen chapter 12 . 10/7/2009
Hey! I'm liking the story so far! But did you notice Jason slipped in front of Edward? This is what he said...

[I nodded and sighed “Upstairs to the left. Hold on you can take Bella's yogurt up with you will ya?”]
JASPERxHALE-YES chapter 13 . 10/6/2009
TwilightandCanadaforever chapter 13 . 5/27/2009
really gd
gothgirl1245 chapter 13 . 5/26/2009
Please write more it is really good. Why don't you write were that Bella finds out what is going on wtb tony and she said that they can trust them and why don't try to add mike and his sister pov so that way they will know what they are planning.
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