Reviews for The One in the Shadows
Lenera Silvers chapter 47 . 10/3
Love this story so much its so good please update soon
J McAllister chapter 14 . 7/20
The story was average, plotwise.
Your writing style is, to put it bluntly, terrible. You've got no idea how conversations take place. And things are rushed into, and yet so ridiculously slow paced
Also, you could've taken all the time you needed to make your chapters long or merge them together. It's irritating to go to a next chapter just like that, without a chapter leading us to nowhere.
What you are giving us to read is like a half cooked version of a rough plot for a story.
Anyways, a good writing style also helps in making the plot look good. Take our beloved Harry Potter books as example. The plot itself was good for the first five book (especially book 5 despite it being a bit longer than the most), but average for the last two ones. I'm talking about the PLOT. There were too many plot conveniences where it wasn't needed, and I hated how JK down graded Harry's magical prowess in the last two books. It demanded more. But it was her writing style, and most importantly the construction and expansion of the Wizarding World is what we like so much. Most of the HP fans are fans because of the Wizarding World, and not Harry Potter per say. One of the reasons I like Fantastic Beasts movies much more than the original HP books.

Anyways, the story takes place in a version of the Wizarding World so different from the original. You could've added so many things! You could've added how things are dark as Voldemort is now back for six years already. Or how the war spread to the continent. A much larger picture of the war! Disappointing!
Comekian chapter 47 . 6/27
Kinda hoped this would be a complete story
Vampireking40 chapter 8 . 9/2/2020
Did the the Toad infiltrate the school as the worst Teacher ever in Hogwarts history in there 5th year. Quille and Lockhart where better then her and that is saying a lot as Lockhart did not teach them anything from an actual book.
Vampireking40 chapter 3 . 8/25/2020
I take it Hermonie is Head Girl. I am surprised that Ron was a prefect and not Harry brother. Was the Toad a teacher in there 5th year. I guess the Patil sister in Gryffindor became a prefect 7th year as Hermione got moved to
Guest chapter 1 . 4/9/2020
He kinda seems like a bitch, he’s a slytherian cunning and ambition are supposed to come naturally to him bitching about being in his brothers shadow and nobody liking him aren’t his natural traits if anything these would only fuel his desire to be better.
2678024 chapter 38 . 3/31/2020
made it to chapter 38...
writing was better than average...
story telling was more engaging at the beginning where there was character development..
chapters 30 on lacked coherence.
I can see hints of foreshadowing and plot-but nothing which actually drives the story forward.
...keep on keeping on
...this was an ameable effort
what am i doing chapter 12 . 12/19/2018
this is good
Shivam591 chapter 19 . 12/16/2018
What the hell is even going on
lovefanfictions72 chapter 24 . 11/3/2018
Really dont like how everyone feels that he should be the one to rectify this situation... stupid
TiffTang chapter 47 . 5/16/2018
All chapters are amazing
Are there more
It is veryyyyyyyyyyy thrilling
Foy the Snooze Button chapter 6 . 3/11/2018
Out rightly flirting with a girl you half know, Harry you dog you ;)
thirteenth soul chapter 47 . 9/25/2017
U abandoned it didn't u...
O well
BROCKLESNER chapter 19 . 7/7/2017
BROCKLESNER chapter 18 . 7/7/2017
I Liked Chapter Eighteen The Other Brother!
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