Reviews for Sake and Tears
21stCenturyAuthors chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
very good :D I loved it, especially how everyone took the news and how deeply Tsunade cared for Naruto
lifesbutawalkingshadow chapter 1 . 3/15/2013
Hey there!

Bet you never thought you'd get another review for this story again, neh? Especially not one that contained ALL THE WORDS!

*Ahem*

First and foremost, let me just say that I enjoyed your story. I was snooping around the Shifting Time group, clicked on the staff and ended up here. And, in truth, this was good. I enjoyed the dichotomy of the bolded and regular text, and I liked the way you wrote.

They're extremely minor, but I do have a couple of points (deeply pedantic ones, and for that I apologize).

The first is in your second sentence. "Why did she take this freaking job again? Oh yeah. Because Naruto asked her to."

It's a very tiny point, but the use of the word "freaking" just doesn't seem right. The word "freaking" should be reserved for first world problems. It's too soft, and it gives the whole thing a sense of lightness and flippancy. A better one could be "cursed", or you could take the opportunity to swear. Everyone loves swearing!

It wouldn't be a problem (if it was later in the story, it could be easily brushed off), except that its the very first sentence used to describe Tsunade's mindset. It sets the tone for the entire piece, and it lacks the oomph factor.

Somewhat poetically, the second issue I have is with the last sentence. Now, this one is more of a matter of personal taste. Instead of

"Nothing mattered anymore. She would do her duty and live, she would continue as Hokage and destroy any threat to Konoha. But she would not smile again. Naruto's death had broken her utterly."

I would make it:

"Nothing mattered anymore. She would do her duty and live, she would continue as Hokage and destroy any threat to Konoha. But she would not smile again.

Naruto's death had broken her utterly."

It's the closing idea of your piece, the final thought that the readers will be left with. For an emotional piece like this, the final thought should (in my unexpert opinion) stand alone. The final phrase seems a little clunky too. It could be cool to have the final thought of the piece be something like:

"Nothing mattered anymore. She would do her duty and live, she would continue as Hokage and destroy any threat to Konoha. But she would not smile again.

For she was broken."

Or some similarly abstract piece. Similarly to my first point, this wouldn't matter if it was simply part of the body of the story, but the fact that its at the conclusion of your tale gives it a certain import.

Still, the fact that these points are the most important things I could come up with should be a testament to what I thought of the rest of your story.

Of course, this was written about five years ago, so I have no idea as to your current writing skills. Hell, I can't read my stuff from five years ago without cringing. And believe me, it is worthy of cringing.

Anyhow, adios!
SNHunter chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
This is a great story, even though Naruto did die. I like the way you made it hit Tsunade so hard. you seem to think along the same lines as me like many of the other authors I've read from tonight, but even so I'd never kill off Naruto. I hope that as your story progresses you'll bring Naruto back to everyone.

keep up the great work and do bring Naruto back. even if he is bloody and near death.
RetickLover chapter 1 . 6/27/2008
this was like...really good...sad too.
Jigoku no Yami chapter 1 . 4/24/2008
*Cries* So sad.

I have an idea for a second chapter, like a Rumor of a person matching Naruto is spread, and it reaches Tsuande, and with it, she gets her hopes up, and goes to look for him, I believe yopu copuld end it on a happy note, or make it more tragic, then the end of the first chapter.
The Known and Unknown chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
Wow! It's really good and sad. Depressing, I wanted to cry. T.T

I really liked the line ,'As the world fell to pieces.' Although, I think you should've ended it there.
Shikamaru's babygirl chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
That was so sad. I feel like crying. That was a good oneshot, very sad, but sweet at the same time.(By sweet I mean how Tsunade saw Naruto as her family) Good work.
CassandraChristine chapter 1 . 3/28/2008
Aw. That was so sad. Yet so sweet. I'm almost crying, and I don't cry very easily. You did an awesome job.