Reviews for Undercover
MutantPiratePrincess chapter 23 . 10/3/2008
*sniff* Gosh, this really was the most amazing and touching chapter of your whole story so far. It was clearly different from all the chapters before, but still, it was special, and an incredibly powerful one. Reading Kim's emotional goodbye letters really brought me near tears a few times (they still do, every time I read them). This one sentence in her note to her parents already:

"Anyway, if you are reading this it means that the world was saved but I wasn't."

The whole message to her parents is just incredibly touching - and the fact that she addresses her "other" parents as well is just heart-warming.

This chapter actually starts and ends with the two notes that really come from the bottom of her heart, and this was an excellent choice. One can really feel the intensity of her emotions!

Her notes to Nana, Jim and Tim, Monique and Wade were all wonderful in their own ways. Best parts were the reference to the first in person meeting with Wade in "Team Possible", the "P.S." in her note to Monique and the line "I know you can do it - you're Possibles!" in her note to her brothers (I did like the reference to "A Sitch in Time" and the P.S. that would make the tweebs go "Yuck!" all the way, too).

But the very best, the most wonderful, the most touching, and the most perfect part of the whole chapter was, of course, Kim's goodbye note to Ron! It really made me go "AW!" all the way, and I just don't know where to start telling you how touching and heart-warming and, yes, sad, it felt to read all of this. She's really pouring her heart out, and I can imagine how hard it must be for her to do that. I really enjoyed the "jelling" part about Madeline and Louise, too, but the paragraphs about the love she feels for him were the most wonderful ones.

"With all the love in this or any other universe,

Your KP"

This left me just going "Aw!" over and over. :)

But thinking about how her loved ones would react to these letters... IF they would read it, IF things had come that way... it's just unimaginable.

Now, to end my longest review to your shortest chapter, I can only repeat: You did an amazing job here! This chapter really touched my heart - and so did your Author's Note at the end! You're most welcome, my friend and thank YOU for your incredibly kind words about me and my story. ;)

Keep up the amazing work & see you next time!
MrDrP chapter 23 . 10/3/2008
Nicely done. Of course, given what Kim wrote, I really am wondering how you're going to maneuver them into being "just friends" at the end of the story. Whatever you do, I suspect yours truly is going to find it tough to read.
noncynic chapter 23 . 10/3/2008
Outstanding? The question mark is there because I'm sure that's not good enough, but can't think of a better word. Very characterful, if that's really a word, can't remember for sure.
Dark Lady of the Sith chapter 22 . 9/30/2008
Oh boy, what's Ron planning to do now? The plot thickens.

Sorry about not reviewing right away, but I didn't know that a new chapter was up. At least I won't have to wait as long as I would for a new chapter if I read it on the 19th though. :P

Update ASAP!
MrDrP chapter 22 . 9/22/2008
Another well written chapter. Good dialogue, good plot development. Looking forward to more.

My one complaint: Spindrift. You've got way too many nods to other works. You're creative enough to come up with wholly original plot elements on your own.
Stubbs101 chapter 22 . 9/21/2008
If I remember rightly, kim's on a suicide run so ron's going to have to be quick!
Mr. Wizard chapter 22 . 9/20/2008
Very good chapter for leading up to a very big scene. You have so much going on in their minds, so much more than the show really allowed, but you've thrown them a very different baddie also, one that can really focus the mind.

Really want to see what Kim tells him, and how he reacts, especially since both are thinking about going beyond friendship.
MutantPiratePrincess chapter 22 . 9/20/2008
Great to hear it from Ron again! This chapter really felt like a relief, after the last one's horrifying ending, though the ending here was kinda dark, too. But let's start from the top.

The beginning of this chapter kinda confused me, since it took a few lines to get what was going on. You really teased us here with Melissa - I was just as sure as Ron was that she would fling her arms around him... *snicker* But Mel and Ben do make a cute couple, though they also add to Ron's feeling uncomfortable. Anyway, the talk between the three of them was really emotional, seeing that Mel's sister is one of Whateley's hostages. And from what they said, I'm starting to hate Spode more and more...

Then again, my favorite part was the one where Ron was left alone with his thoughts.

"Not to mention the whole Madeline and Louise deal..."

WHY NOT? *lol* But seriously, I loved the insight on Ron's thoughts here, especially the part about the comparison Ron/Kim to Luke/Lorelai - so THAT was the favor he asked of Rory! I never would've guessed that (probably because I don't watch GG), but it was so sweet! As well as the part where he had a close look at Kim's carry-on bag. But my favorite line was:

"Somebody tell me again why Mankey was ever born?"

He he, okay, gonna end this long review by saying: You're doing a great job at making me go "Aww" all the way, touching my soul and yet keeping up the suspense and making me want to read more - and soon! Keep up the fantastic work!
nutshak chapter 22 . 9/20/2008
Totally Badical man! Again, not much happened, but again, it is so entertaining and awesome that you just cant stop reading. update soon!

Keep it up!
CajunBear73 chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
Ron just can't ever give up on bringing himself down can't he? For all his comparisons of similar relationships to his and Kim's, he just can't understand that each one has their own factors that set them apart from theirs. Then there is the Ron-factor all by itself to throw its own version of a screwball into this.

In the middle of an 'end-of-the-world' sitch Ron contemplates so much that may just end his friendship with Kim instead of preserve it. The boy just can't help but crap in his oatmeal as a way to save the dish... can he?

There is so much that Ron doesn't know about what his BFF is up to to save the planet as he tries to bring himself to a neutral status quo in dealing with Kim's pack. His musings lead him further away from his considering risking an attempt at taking his relationship with Kim further, to his planning to tank the whole thing in order to spare either of them heartbreak in the end. Just another rule for him to mock as he follows along.

Now comes the big confrontation and how Ron 'saves' his heavy crush from sacrificing herself to save the planet, then ruins his stake in romance with Kim ... for now?

But there's a little thing such as an internal explosive in his BFF's body to contend with when Spode's plan comes to an end.

Hope the angst of Ron can overcome the threat of world destruction.

CB73
NakedMoleDogg chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
Hooray, another chapter to an awesome story! Capitulo numero veintedos - muy bien. (I don't really speak Spanish, just a few (5) courses in grade school - I hope to become fluent eventually)

So this time we get to delve into the mental workings and situational perspective of our beloved male hero. If it took him as long to think that whole train of thought through as it did for me to read it all, he's probably late for his showdown by now, haha!

I like to see Ron having rational thought for once. Too many people tend to see him as a goof-off with no sense of logical thought, but you put them all to shame - no offense to other writers! Anyway, you demonstrate that he is completely sane, in his own way. The Ron Factor is just a "carefree expression of individuality," as I have heard and accepted as truth from another writer.

During the part where he notices the first aid kit, I got an idea of what Ron was thinking, but I was unsure if it was the same as your intended message. I figure it had to do with Ron wanting Kim to chillax a bit for some recuperation time, but in your opinion, does he think Kim is depressed (similarly to his own frustration at life)? And what role to the story did the two 'white coat' scientists play in the elevator?

Ron has a plan involving his romantic dealings with Kim, I see. I was afraid that you were about to turn the end of the chapter into a songfic (I dread such a possibility with a passion).

No outstanding grammar issues, aside from an 'effect/affect' slip-up and a double progressive tense (having to paying). I try to be observant; hopefully it isn't putting me into the overanalyst category of critics.

Best regards and good luck with your next chapter - may it arrive with haste!

-NMD
waveform chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
Nice little bit of introspection from Ron in this one. It's nice to see that Kim's not the only one struggling with her emotions over this sitch.
noncynic chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
Okay, Kim influencing the IRS? You're starting to stretch credibility there, I'm Afraid.

Ron's behavior and thinking perfectly in character, I think. But of course the fact that he 'has a plan' causes a bit of trepidation.
screaming phoenix chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
If you’re going to do what I think you’re going to do then I’ll tell you its madness, pure madness, but what a glorious madness it is.

You cleared up some things here but left others to be resolved for another day. I did like how Ron was thinking Melissa was going to hug him but went to Agent T. instead.

The retrospection by Ron over the last several days, indeed, over the last several months was well done. We have been without Ron’s mental musings for awhile. He’s not as random as people think he is; especially when Kim is involved.

So Ron got the low down on how Luke and Lorelei broke up huh? I do believe he’s going to get a silly notion on how to keep his relationship with Kim going on that even keel that the other two people missed out on. I still like to know what went on between Madeline, Louise and Ron. I know it isn’t what everybody, especially Kim, is thinking.

“shippiness” cute reference there.

I hope we see the long overdue reckoning for Spode coming up soon; he has much to answer for

I see a major confrontation between Kim and Ron in the making with some potential for disaster in the offering. Followed by recriminations and re-evaluating some, what some thought, basic beliefs, finally culminating in a magnificent final victory.

All or nothing Ron, all or nothing, go for the silver, maybe get the bronze, ‘cause in the end you capture the gold!
melissaeverlasting chapter 22 . 9/19/2008
Nice comeback chapter! You are rounding off this story nicely :D

-Melissa
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