Reviews for Undercover
Dark Lady of the Sith chapter 28 . 2/12/2009
A fantastic conclusion! I wasn't expecting you to skip ahead to the end of StD like that, and it was indeed a pleasant surprise. I'm glad I found this story, and I look forward to your future work. :]

Ans as a bonus, I also made your review count a nice even 400. -
ShadowBlade989 chapter 28 . 2/10/2009
Wow, what an ending. I can't believe it took me so long to find time to finish this, school has a nasty habit of cutting back on my free time.

I gotta say, this story was absolutely amazing. By far one of the best I've read on this site. Especialy the way you managed to tie everything in with STD.

I can't wait for your next story to start, and congrats on finishing this one!
nutshak chapter 28 . 2/9/2009
:( aww it's finished! for ten months i have been looking forward to the updates of this story in my inbox, but alas, now there shall be no more. well, at least until you come up with another story! which you totally should do because with your ideas and writing skill it would be a crime not to write another story.

This chapter was one of the best ones yet. i especially loved how you introduced James Stoppable with his famous kimmie-cub saying to make it more companiable and funny for the reader!

And for the last review i ever give this storie, i'd just like to say one last thing,

Keep it up!
Slipgate chapter 28 . 1/31/2009
I have to say I don't subscribe to the overprotective re: Ron image many have about Mr. Dr. P. He gives the black hole lecture, but only briefly, and Ann's fine with it... it's just a way of saying "treat her right" and what was really mortifying about it for Ron was how it wasn't a real date to him, just going to try to break up with her but not getting the chance and freaking out due to the parents being so receptive and to what her dad was saying since he _was_ going to break up with Kim. Mr. Dr. P was completely supportive during Season 4 and very respectful of Ron in Graduation when they worked together. But the overprotective dad image can be fun for people to play with, and you didn't overdo it here... you just had her dad basically apologizing for being so hard on Ron back when and that was it, which I can see having happened offscreen in the series. And that's basically what happens here.

I have to say, large parts of the dialogue here, I'm almost wishing I could ask Christy Carlson Romano and Will Friedle to do a reading for me...

I love that you don't have a Mrs. Stoppable freaking about his son's choice in girlfriend (I guess I've just read too many of those recently) and I love that last little bit of physical intimacy (the Cheese Worms thing) near the end... and that last bit of italicized stuff before The End. But I'm not sure what the escape-proof windows is a reference to...

There was something you mentioned in the fic, a virus or something, where it sounded like you'd mention it again in a future work. Since that would be a followup to this fic in some way, I look forward to it. Cheers!

Slipgate
Slipgate chapter 28 . 1/31/2009
You've taken the end of So The Drama and made it very much your own. They do what they do in So The Drama but are the wonderfully communicative Kim and Ron I've been seeing in your fic so far. That's another strong point - you successfully place your communicative Kim and Ron in the very happy "StD just happened" moment and the results are wonderful to watch.

I love how well you've been able to show their emotional intimacy. Their discussions, their descriptive actions (bringing the back of your hand up to your mouth and breathing through your nose, for example) and everything else you see, along with the physical intimacy, feels like they really do have all those emotional connections together that Kim was thinking about back when she was seriously debating kissing Ron in that bubble-transport thing. That, and the wonderful description of their physical intimacy, is all passionate short of being smutty... I've read passionate M-rated fics that were tasteful and this is still more passionate than some of them. And in a way Kim's father unknowingly comes at just the right moment to unknowingly warn them not to go too fast, even though they're totally set in most every other way as far as knowing that they've found the one.

The "nor will I have have [a sister]" inside joke notwithstanding, it does seem, at least based on Bonnie's reaction, that you ARE deviating from Season 4. I remember thinking you were going to deviate from the way things went in StD until it turned out you didn't intend to... but it seems you might actually be doing so here. Maybe I just get that impression from the fact that Bonnie ends up ultimately accepting the relationship (whereas she snarked on it in "Ill-Suited" in season 4), but I got a vibe that's a bit different, and a bit more confident in the relationship, than Season 4 itself exhibited (though that was partly for age demographics suitability and partly to not throw the humor or other dynamics of the show too badly, thereby avoiding a shark-jump if they can). Another way in which it can deviate is the way Kim wants to include Ron in interviews and such (whereas in the series he still gets treated a bit worse, and Kim doesn't often let it get to her... the "Humans" magazine where they cut him almost out of the shot comes to mind here... not that they did it, but that Kim doesn't fixate on it having happened).

You neatly sidestep the "if Kim and Ron kissed as kids, why didn't he mention it under the truth ray" issue with how he simply didn't remember that stuff at the time.

You also deal wonderfully with other stuff... there were a few times when I felt Kim cut off Ron or vice versa (such as when she mentioned he hadn't initiated a kiss or hug until today) but then I realized that it wasn't a cut-off so much, since either they knew the rest of what was to be said, or no reply was needed (in the example I gave, the important fact is that he initiated them today even if he hadn't in the past). Seeing that last little bit of confidence instilled in Kim when she asks the question of why he spoke up at BN headquarters, and seeing a reason why Kim ended up being so weird to Ron during sophomore year AND why the two who supposedly always go to dances etc. together (according to "Crush") never did during the series until they got together... that they'd thrown a kink in it right before that time and that Kim spent the next year a litle upset before getting over it to a degree. I also thought that Ron should've gone into other reasons why he took the plunge tonight (like how he'd been planning on it originally because he felt he was losing her) but again, the fact that she almost died and the fact that he admits he's had the thought in his mind for a long time probably says enough about that so that he's not cut off so much there either.

When I read the comment about "I'm a Believer" I ran through the lyrics in my head and thought it was so perfect that you referenced the song. The Smashmouth reference was also good since they actually showed up in a KP episode and the KP kids, contemporary to their time, were into Smashmouth. But I at first thought that the "oh the band isn't important" note was because they were rambling about details when they could be talking about "them" some more or kissing again or so on... but I had a feeling there was something there and I checked... the Monkees, haha, no wonder she dodged naming the band. Kim knows Ron well too. Not that he'd freak that much, but it really is an unecessary and perhaps perturbing detail for right then.

I'm not sure what was supposed to be symbolic or ironic... but I think Ron didn't know either... also I'm not sure what frustrations and insecurities you might be referencing with Kim (when she talks about her snarkiness) but I can imagine what some of it MIGHT be (especially your fic's Kim if not directly the series Kim).

Anyway, I'd talked before about wanting to see into both of their heads. You definitely did that here. You might have a bit more of "Ron's head" here, but that's fair since we'd been lacking lenses into his head in recent chapters, and I think you get a sufficient lens into Kim's head during the chapter as well even _if_ Ron gets more.

Also, they've learned a huge lesson, in this chapter, that as communicative as they are, they need to go ahead and say to each other all the things that they're not saying (cf. the "marriage" discussion and how they might've known each others' feelings more clearly a lot sooner, albeit learning now was for the best in this one case). So they'll be even more communicative in the future.
Slipgate chapter 28 . 1/31/2009
I noticed other parallels... way back when, Ron felt Kim's breath and words on his face when he was doing her eye makeup... "feeling the words on his face" when she comments after the first kiss in Chapter 28 reminded me of that. Both times, the image of feeling the words on the face is wonderfully descriptive intimacy. I'm really able to imagine all of it, and it's quite wonderfully communicated so I can try to imagine Kim's and Ron's feelings at any given moment and imagine the events as a third-party observer. Thank you for that.

It's actually surprising how small a topic Connecticut is in Chapter 28, since it is the subject of Chapters 1-27 and I ended Chapter 27 feeling a whole lot from that weekend needed to be reflected on. You sort of made that almost tiny by having them reflect in one way or another on YEARS and YEARS and YEARS, rather than specifically fixating on Connecticut (which, given your admirably achieved intentions with Chapter 28, would've been a mistake to try to do). I loved that Kim was still giving him confidence in them being okay right NOW despite what they were talking about (all the real or imagined slights he'd given her in the past). I loved that Kim's slights, or at least some of them, are brought up (like when he mentions being locked in a closet, she doesn't say sorry because she's bad at it but also because he already knows she's sorry and they proceed on with the topic of conversation at hand). Likewise when Kim recognizes how differently they reacted about other people being interested in their friend (supporting the Josh thing vs. hiding the Tara thing). It really is fair to the good and bad points of both people while not dwelling, instead considering that the past and proceeding with confidence. That scene where she kissed his hand to let him know they were totally cool right now and that they were just discussing the past... there is so much happiness and confidence in the relationship exuded in this chapter that it just gives this warm glow to everything that came before... they've talked out much bigger issues than anything that happened in Connecticut, and Connecticut is taken care of almost by proxy or sense of scale as a result. You also neatly handle how Kim realizes she'd also been acting in such a way as to make Ron think she wasn't interested (cf. comments like her skepticism about them dating in the episode "Grudge Match"). You also, in so doing, help put Erik in perspective as someone Kim embraced the pursuit of because she was thinking Ron was rejecting her outright and he seemed to be receptive to her, so that she was only pursuing him because she was seeking SOMEONE to fill that spot in her life while Ron's rejection had her thinking that he may fill other spots ("We'll still be tight"/"Erik isn't going to change what we're all about") but that he didn't even intend to or dream of filling that spot anyway. It helps a person see why Erik not being for real might discourage her (not only Ron, but every other guy seems uninterested) and thus "crush" Kim Possible, while making sure Erik is put in perspective with all those years and isn't overblown as being more significant than he is, thus neatly sidestepping him and the "rebound" interpretation entirely. I was impressed at how much you accomplished in this chapter without even referencing "out there... in here" since you seemed to be trying to parallel "somewhere out there" with it last time, but you didn't bring up Ron's words here to differentiate from that last chapter... instead, you once again dealt with a whole other set of issues that ended up covering the same emotional bases for the characters.
Slipgate chapter 28 . 1/31/2009
Michael,

I've been waiting for the weekend to write this review. I also spent the time to reread my old review(s) (but not all your old chapters) to try to see what I'd said to you before.

While I haven't directly compared Chapters 1-27 with the happiness of Chapter 28, I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chapter 28 is one of the happiest and most wonderful bits of Kim and Ron pairing I've ever read.

In a funny way, while Season 4 episodes helped draw me in to the Kim Possible fold, and I don't have anything against Season 4, there is something to be said for how the series would've ended if So The Drama had been the end... I've seen many fans and many fics get perturbed about Ron's college situation throwing a kink in the works, for example, that was an absent issue at the end of Season 3. Graduation can leave you more uncertain compared to the peaceful passion that can follow on in the imagination from Season 3's closer. Don't get me wrong, I like Season 4, but there is something to be said for how the series originally ended at Season 3 even if you also appreciate S4.

This chapter is one great example of that peaceful passion. I read Chapter 28 at a time when it was greatly appreciated (and I knew it would be happy based on what you said before). I'd been looking for a fix of that peaceful passion, and Chapter 28 exhibited it as well as _confidence_ in the relationship, which was something else I also really wanted. It just hit the spot in both ways to such a degree that it was fantastic. I've read some great post-StD fics, and some introduce kinks to their lives for the sake of the drama of that storyline. Yours didn't try to do that, and instead exhibited confidence in that relationship, partly because of the fact that it was the resolution of a story instead of the start of one, but also because the entire story, even as things seemed to be going south, was confident that these two characters' lives were intertwined and it plays out so in the end. It also gave me enough after StD cuts away to "The End" to not just get a rehash of the happy end of StD but also a great deal of satisfaction with the immediate aftermath. It's great.

In reading my last review, I seemed insistent that the suicide bomb needs to be discussed in this ending. I'm actually fine with the fact it wasn't. Part of this is that she already wrested with this issue in her own head, and part of this is the fact that you had Ron contemplating Kim dying and needing to tell her stuff just as Kim had contemplated such things. (I also never realized the parallel you were going for between DNAmy's electro-dude shocking Kim and later Erik doing so). The significant part of that bomb is that she faced the possibility of her death, and that you did it in such a way that Ron also faced the possibility of her death... so you had the emotional crux of it without discussing the "old news" bomb itself. You had your cake and ate it too...

When Kim had become really harsh about Ron after his apparent rejection in the previous chapter, I remember being at a loss for going that negative on him, but some other reviewer pointed out that Kim would be desperately rationalizing to herself reasons he wasn't suitable now that she was rejected rather than really meaning what she was thinking. I hadn't thought of that... and this chapter dealt nicely, although lumping it all collectively into one conversation, with "how poorly I've treated you since the Connecticut mission" and had an "implied" apology from Kim regarding it all. You realize that Ron did pick up on how she wanted him to ask her but that he thought it was a moment of weakness, you had them BOTH coming to understand what had happened there, and you also had Kim recognizing what she'd done since Connecticut without specifically saying "I'm sorry." The Kim in your story has a hard time saying I'm sorry but is able to let Ron know when she is in other ways, and she does that here. Chapter 28 also let us know about the thoughts Ron has been having in recent chapters - which is what I and others had commented was absent from those chapters. He also did pick up on the curtness, as I expected, but probably took that to be initial reaction from the supposed rejection he had given her which would blow over... and, it turns out, is why he'd asked her if they were friends "forever" last time - to make sure that she was at least okay enough with him to be able to say yes to that and reassure him. Granted, the BN headquarters sitch could also be seen as a moment of weakness, but putting it in terms of having thought she might be dead and wanting to finally tell her what's been in his mind for a long time before she maybe really is dead kind of negates that... so you sidestep comparisons being made there neatly.
melissaeverlasting chapter 28 . 1/28/2009
Yay! I get my username bolded! I wonder if that means my reviews were the weirdest... hehe.

Okay, okay, I know they were. But no matter what strange/mental/eating-the-paste-special things I said, you have to know that this story is just magnificent. The way you crafted together the somewhat untold story of Kim and Ron with elements of humour, suspense, action, adventure, and least but not least Gilmore girls (Oy, with the poodles already, how good that was!)... well, it was breathtaking, to end this horrible run-on sentence. I can only imagine the time you put into this, writing these novel-length chapters and editing them to perfection. It was an honor to get to read this story before anyone else, and I feel like a superior (and at the same time very inferior! :) writer, having learned from your example.

Last but not least, I'd like to quote someone (you probably won't recognize the quote, though): "Shakespeare Who? Academics now agree Michael Howard is the greatest author ever to appear in the world of English Literature..."

And I understand what this unknown person is talking about! ) In fact, you know what? If you wanted to try some other type of writing, such as... I don't know... depressing poetry... I'm sure you'd be GREAT at it. And trust me, my friend, that's a compliment.

-Melissa out! (*sniff sniff*)

P.S.: I think I'm going to miss writing these reviews almost as much as you'll miss reading them! Haha...hehe... ha?
Wushu chapter 28 . 1/27/2009
Admittedly I had stopped reading because i was worried about where the story was heading. Today I decided to finish reading the story and i am glad i did.

you did an excellent job with the leadup and post-STD elements. I am very happy to see someone actually cover the events following [directly, that is] the kiss. well done, i do hope to see more from you soon.
wopr chapter 28 . 1/27/2009
I really cannot wait to read what you write next.
Muzzlehatch chapter 28 . 1/26/2009
I think that there's a Fannie due here! Or two or three.
The defenastrator chapter 28 . 1/26/2009
Well I can finally be content to be finished with this story. Lol. I thank you much for a good read and applaud you on the fact that this was your first writing. Although I don't write, (I've tried and fail many a time) through my readings of I have gained some amount of ability to peg how new people are to writing. (I'm more of an analytical person then a creative one.) I would have pegged you as a pretty good writer from the beginning and have seen that improve over the course of the story. I do have two suggestions though:

1) Update quicker write shorter chapters and don't be afriad to leave things off in the middle because you didn't have time to write everything. I found myself having to reread 2 full chapters to remember what happened

2) have someone else read your work before you post it every once and a while you write a sentience that makes sense when you think about it but not when you first read it. It really breaks the entire mood of the story when you have to go back and reread a sentience.

I liked how your only references to real world places and people other then landmarks were limited to when they were absolutely necessary and even then they related I actually am making an exception to one of my pet peeves here simply because real world reference was so well done and had a very good reason for it in the story.

Again I thank you for a plesant divertion that took up meny hours of my time.

Kim:"And to think that's time you would have otherwise wasted"

and in answer to the what was that all about. I try to include a quote from the show in all of my reviews. It's kind of like my signature.
motorized-sasquatch chapter 28 . 1/26/2009
Wow, the ride's over...and what a ride it was!

I think these last two chapters really were perfection...they wound the story down perfectly and provided us with reading thrills of a different sort than the other chapters of the story. Reading chapters devoted to emotional tumult can be just as exciting as reading about explosions and fighting. You really captured the emotions of our heroine and hero perfectly, as well as the final scene.

Sorry about not reviewing for a while there. I've kind of been asleep at the wheel of late.

I eagerly await your next KP story, if one is in the works.
Ms.VioletB.Hollister chapter 28 . 1/26/2009
Oh my goodness. That was faster than I thought! It was also very good, just to let you know. You are probably the best author on this site-that I've met. You write extremely well. What is your grade in English? Have you ever thought of becoming an author? I can't believe it's over already! You should do a story on what happens after Graduation. That would be awesome. If you do I promise I'll be the first to review it!

.Hollister
LaaArtWrtr chapter 28 . 1/26/2009
Bravo! I've enjoyed this story from the very beginning. I hope to see more from you in the future.

LAW.
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