|Reviews for The Legacy of Paneau: Veracity|
| Verity Kindle chapter 9 . 6/7/2008
cool! SO mysterious! Who was that masked man?
| Verity Kindle chapter 7 . 5/16/2008
| Verity Kindle chapter 5 . 5/3/2008
"What happened!" Elena asked with alarm, kneeling beside Cade. He had suffered at least two penetrating wounds to his chest, reducing his breathing to nearly nothing. Drawing on what limited ability she had, Elena gingerly placed her hands over one of his burns and began to concentrate, using the Force to mend him. She struggled to maintain her focus as Cade weakly moaned in pain."
Okay, just one little thing. If he had two major chest wounds and he's been lying there for hours, then his lungs are probably not in great shape and he may even have a collapsed lung. It takes a lot of breath- inhaling and exhaling- to make a sound. Isn't it a tiny bit unlikely that Cade would be able to do that? Not to mention the intense pain- I know, this is nitpicking, but I just thought I'd throw it out there for your consideration, since medical stuff is your forte. )
Anyways, I like the intensity of this chapter. And Elena is getting used to ordering people around! yay! lol
| Verity Kindle chapter 3 . 4/10/2008
Why is everybody so mean to Kaydee? )
| Verity Kindle chapter 1 . 4/1/2008
Oops. Well, Elena, do that thing where you get your lightsaber to fly into your hand! Or something!