|Reviews for The Eternal Dying Flame|
| Thuram chapter 17 . 7/12/2014
DANG. SO GOOD.
| Guest chapter 17 . 9/20/2013
this was a fantastic story :D i love it
| sakura.souen chapter 17 . 7/20/2013
Your story was very good. I think you are ready to right that book series if you want. I really loved the end and i hope that book series will be as good of a plot as in this fanfic. Thank you for the story.
| The Tenshis chapter 17 . 5/2/2012
No he could since sakura has straight hair so could have a resemblance except maybe the lines
| Cotton and Cash chapter 17 . 3/31/2012
Yep, that pretty much covers my response to this story. I think it was perfect because the characterization was spot on. Oh, I wanted to MURDER that stupid Uchiha for being such a selfish bastard...and I cried so hard when he "died." Surprisingly, it also hurt a lot whenever Ino died, because I don't think I really expected that to happen...although I must say the distinct lack of Karin after the war made up for it. This last chapter... I honestly feel that Itachi really, really needed some sort of recognition for his actions, although I know that his name probably would never make it to that "list of heroes" that you mention near the end there. It's all very sad, isn't? But I can only hope that this is a future we can all look forward to: a new Team Seven, where there is no chance of the past repeating itself again.
| Blossoming-Bn3k chapter 17 . 2/24/2012
I beg to differ but I imagine Sakura would not be able to go through the process of learning the Juuken that quickly. It is true that being a medic-nin gives her extra advantage in knowing chakra points and body anatomy but the main idea being that Juuken requires a graceful and fluid movement that her bold and harsh punching of grounds cannot master so quickly. She has learned one fighting style and would be more prone to stick with it to prevent that quick of an adaption progress, I imagine it'd take more time, as she is not Mary Sue. Also, it is true that learning Juuken to make you more sensitive to chakra does not make sense.
Also, it has come to my attention that although your story is good - excellent in grammar and all that, there lacks within a certain...depth required in all stories. Add a bit of creativeness and familiarity to it because honestly, it seems so strangely distant and formal. Like you're addressing a letter to everyone about what happened instead of showing it to them through simple yet vivid sentences. It did fit the first chapter with all those dramatic recollections. And the last one about closure (which were by the way, both great chapters). But that might just be me. I guess everyone has their own style and their own tastes. :)
Another thing, Sasuke seems strangely ooc. It all seems too convenient for the stuff he feels inside and etc. and I doubt Sakura is as emotional as she was before, easily tearing up for the littlest of things. And yet another thing I've also come to notice is that annoying habit you have of inserting yourself into the stories. Again, it's sort of like a hint as though you're narrating the story to us, instead of allowing itself to reveal to us the course of events in a natural and real-image-like manner.
...and oddly enough, I want a sequel. (yes, you can take that as a compliment D) I wanna have more of this new Uchiha Itachi, he's adorable. *tears spring up* Tell me you're gonna make a sequel, pretty please? At least you'll do more justice to it than I ever could, since they are after all your characters. Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Mikoto genius. I also want to see this new generation's 'doom of separation' and what form it would take up. :'(
And about that book series poll (which btw, I'm sure you've already made your decision all those years ago). I'd say go for it. :) You'll improve more along the way anyway. _
Over 'n' Out!
| Blossoming-Bn3k chapter 1 . 2/23/2012
*sniff* The ending part seriously brought tears to my eyes. :'( Also...the whole chapter - it was like a summary of everything. Someone could read it and skip to Shippuden without worrying about missing some parts. And you managed to do it in a decently short way. Wow. *thumbs up*
| HappyDeathFairy chapter 17 . 1/12/2012
This was absolutely amazing! I loved reading it! I think you should continue on with the book series that you have an idea about! :D
| Kitsune no Yuki chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Very deep and emotional. I sincerely loved this. Author-san, you are a very talented writer. I am sorry that this story had not recieved as many reviews as you would llike, but, for those that reviewed, you can tell that they love your story.
Be well, and best of luck, ne?
-Kitsune no Yuki
| RandomImagination chapter 1 . 9/28/2011
I am going to continue reading on, and I'll probably give you feedback on the main body of the story then, especially since you've admitted it might be boring. I just have a major point to make about the intro, and I wanted to tell you that first:
You have a good grasp of grammar and wordflow, and there isn't much awkwardness. However, that's eclipsed by the flaws of the intro. First of all, don't interject author's notes; they jolt the reader out of the story. Save it for the beginning and end. Translations can be tolerable, but most of the time you do want to leave those at the end. For one thing, a lot of Naruto fans either know what you're talking about or know enough Japanese words to get a sense of it when they add the context.
Most importantly, you should never have written pages of introduction summarizing Naruto here. Never. This could be about a fourth of the length, or even less, and be much, much stronger. You can summarize for stylistic reasons, but this goes far overboard. There is no reason to summarize vast amounts of the series; this is FANFICTION. And it's not a crossover. So I guarantee you that pretty much everyone reading it has seen significant portions of Naruto. If they haven't gotten to some of these parts, you should probably be more worried about having spoiler warnings than ruining it for them. Maybe some of them want to pretend you're taking creative liberties, and everyone else knows exactly what you're talking about, even if you're vague. I honestly couldn't get even half-way through the intro, and the section on Orochimaru's betrayal is the only thing that I think might have come from you before the poem. Your full summary, with a little fleshing out, some added dramatic language, and paragraphs, would honestly be a better prologue.
| marquies chapter 12 . 9/24/2011
the name for tenten's twin rising dragons is Sōshōryū. if you need stuff like that, .com helps
| Purple Lettuce Head chapter 17 . 8/17/2011
Absolutely amazing. I loved the emotion that I could feel in this as I was reading. I like the idea of it being Team 7 centric, focusing on their struggle and able to overcome them as a family. The whole thing was extremely well written, never losing a spark. You are an amazing author and I can't wait to read more of your work. Have fun writing :) Ja ne
| Midnight Namine chapter 17 . 6/23/2011
Hi Erendhyl! I hope you are doing well!
I've read this story 3 times now and I love it even more every time I read it.
In regards to whether you should start a series, I don't know if I'm too late to say anything but I just wanted to let you know that I think you have the potential to write something amazing. I'd say go for it, and just keep writing until you're satisfied with what you've written. Maybe have a few friends read it beforehand or something, pointers are always a plus!
Good luck! :)
| Emma chapter 17 . 1/28/2011
| Emma chapter 5 . 1/28/2011
But that just it...
Sasuke is lost in darknes,
He wants to destroy Konoha...
You have a really good story,thank you for it:)