Reviews for Sunset
SnappleApple450Fan3 chapter 2 . 4/17/2013
Wow, i thought I would hate this but no, for some reason I loved it please tell me your going to update!
MaryAliceCullen01 chapter 2 . 9/19/2008
No. Just, no. I'm sorry but that is so un-called for.
MyVampiricObssesion chapter 2 . 5/1/2008
Wow. that is brutal but very interesting and very thrilling, i like it. write more you have an awesome talent
lalakawaii chapter 2 . 4/9/2008
wow.. this is intense. keep it up. i like this edward, finally getting pissed off with bella and her shnanagins
Collected-Disaproval chapter 2 . 4/3/2008
omg u killd jake! oh i cant wait to see what happens but im sad bout jake. cant wiat 4 an update!
Numbiture chapter 2 . 4/3/2008
*rolls eyes* Ordinarily I don't believe in leaving flames, but that story was seriously in need of it.

first of all, the skipping around in time was not done effectively. first she was running, then she's getting out of her car with nothing to warn the reader that the time has changed, then we understand why she was running.

except that there was really not point to any of it, because the characters are so completely out of character that its riddiculous. maybe not bella so much, because fanfiction very commonly makes her lame like that. your version of Edward, though, is so screwed up its insane. Edward would be hurt, and he might even kill Jacob though I doubt it. He would never threaten to kill Bella though, and he would never take Charlie hostage and possibly hurt him over it. The thing that made bella grossly out of character was the part where she didn't deny she had been using edward. she would have denied that, even if she thought she was a horrible person, because it only hurt edward more.

edward doesn't talk anything like what you made him talk, either, and all in all, this is the most disappointing thing I've read in a long time. the point of fanfiction is to take something from the books and twist it. maybe put the characters in a different situation, or change the situation just a little bit. that allows for a little OOCness, as it is sometimes needed to accomplish the story. your characters are so far from the originals, and even the fanfiction ruins of the originals, however, that writing this and calling it fanfiction in the first place was completely pointless. why do that when the only thing your characters have in common with the actual ones are the names and the fact that Edward is obviously still a vampire. you could have just written this as a short story, and perhaps then it wouldnt have been riddiculous to the point of being offensive to anyone who admires the edward character.

I know I'm being a bit of a bitch about the whole thing, and I'm sorry for that, but I honestly found the whole thing so riddiculous I didn't know what to say. like I said, maybe turn it into an original story instead and post in on fictionpress.
lovelybicth chapter 2 . 4/3/2008
tht was the scariest thing ihave ever heard

wtf kida twisted shit...

idk y u thnk he would react lk the