Reviews for Meteorology
DivineJudgment chapter 1 . 8/27
Oof. I read this story when I was, what, twelve? Now that I'm twenty-four with a remastered Crystal Chronicles game in hand, I remembered this story that had stayed with me all these years. Back then, I'm not sure I understood the depth of what you wrote. But now? Hoo boy, did I feel it all the more.

The subtle expansions of the pre-established worldbuilding, the dynamics between our four heroes, the internal struggles and inevitable tragedy of our protagonist - all of this and more made this a masterpiece from start to finish. The back-and-forth between scenes made the tension real and the emotion raw. Thank you for cutting my heart into pieces with every snippet. It may be the most bittersweet story I've ever read, but it is full of heart, hurt, healing, and the unfortunate truth of both our world as well as this fictional one we both seem to love so much.

I hope that, should you ever find this review, it brings you a joy Surdather never had the pleasure of maintaining. May the memories you have yet to make be happy ones :)
She Who is Woe chapter 1 . 4/7/2015
Holy shit, yo. This was...wonderfully written, beautiful, so much to it...and utterly heartbreaking. just...Heartbreaking.
extherian chapter 1 . 6/14/2013
It's only now, rereading this again so many years later, that I can really appreciate the technical skill in your writing.

Telling. So, so much telling. Amateurs are told always to show and never to tell, but you use telling to smash a ten-year timeline into hard-hitting paragraphs. You tell your stories through dramatic statements, spoken as the thoughts of the character, which provides commentary on "the way things are". By this I mean phrases such as "It began so simply, as most complex and troubling things do." Who is saying this, the protagonist or the author?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't make a difference. Statements like this, along with others that reference previous statements ("It was hard to believe it had been a whole year", followed by "It was hard to believe it had been six years" or something along those lines) tell a story in themselves. You write with laser-guided precision, scarcely wasting a word to express your vision.

Of course, there is the fact that the consequences of Surdather's actions and those of his teammates are show before the actual events occur (the grieving families, etc), a structure with successfully makes the reader dread what is to come all the more. And the execution of the character's emotions, realistic quirks and flaws was of course flawless. But what really stands out more than anything else is the impression that whatever you say, you know what you are talking about. Would your story have worked as well if the events were told in chronological order? Some of the emotional impact might have been blunted, but there's simply no faulting what you came to say to us readers.

Ultimately, that's what really makes a story: a stunning vision of life combined with thoughtful execution. The vision part is what I believe most writers struggle with. They have an inkling of something that might have been, but can scarcely articulate what they see in their mind's eye to themselves, never mind present it in an engaging manner to someone else. The technical execution of a work can be learned through practice and experience, but developing ideas requires an imagination vivid enough to see where they might lead.

And all the while, no pedantic descriptions of what each locale looks like or what the characters are wearing. No openings like "it was a hot summer's day in Tipa, the caravan was leaving and everyone was sad, blah blah blah". You waste no time in actually, you know, telling the darn story.

One thing that I found hard to get used to in Meteorology was the fact that Surdather appeared to be recalling the events of his life after they had happened, and as such, I as a reader felt enormously distant from each scene. The statements, one referencing the other even as it set up more statements to come afterwards, felt as thought they were being made in a vacuum, informed by experiences that the protagonist couldn't have had at that stage in the story. The opening line is a good example. Even though the story was told in third-person, I had the oddest feeling that Surdather was more the author than the protagonist, all the time talking more from the point of view of someone writing the events that occurred than that of someone who experienced them.

I think I ended up with this impression because I found it hard to separate your voice as an author from Surdather's voice as the protagonist. There were times when I wasn't sure who was speaking, or whether the person speaking was Surdather in that particular time and place, or Surdather in the present looking back on what had happened. Perhaps it's just me. Perspective just makes my head spin.

Oddly enough, I found the sections where Surdather was happy with his friends the hardest to read. They were just more emotionally flaying than the parts where everyone was dying. Actually, thinking back on what you said before about Surdather and company failing in their mission because they'd failed to truly bond as a team, that seems a little odd when you look at how well they get on in certain parts. You do get the feeling that there's things that Surdather misses out on, but he really does get closer to them as time goes on, rather than pushing him away. I found myself wondering why most of the team died on the way through Mount Vellenge, yet Surdather kicked ass and took names all by himself against Raem and the Meteor Parasite.

Forgive me for being so pedantic about such a well-crafted piece of writing. I'm not an emotional person so I find it hard to gush about things I like. I'm looking for inspiration at the moment, and attempted reading a work by James Joyce to get a look at his style. Sadly, his style is eye-wateringly boring, and only really shows its true worth if the reader persists for an extraordinarily long time with his work. I believe you are to be applauded for managing to be profound without being insufferable. It's a far rarer talent than you might think.

Incidentally, thank you for writing not only this work, but also all the other pieces of writing you've contributed to the community over the years. There are entire fandoms out there with thousands of writers, but who don't have a single one as dedicated as you are. Long may you continue to be inspired!

Good luck and all that,

SeoulGamer
TyrantChimera chapter 1 . 3/15/2012
Terribly tragic, but wonderful at the same time. I was moved by this!
Going.Nowhere.But.The.Shine chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
I love this story, but I have one small complaint: I got a little confused because of the order that the timeskip thingys took place, and I was confused if _ was alive of dead. (I say blank because there were a few characters I was confused about like that.)
ecophobia chapter 1 . 2/20/2012
I love this!
TitleContreven chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
...

Why is it that sometimes, my job as a constructive reviewer has to be so damn hard? I've already read and reread this five times in an attempt to draw up something constructive to offer other than the nitpicking about the few spelling and grammar mistakes that I found (one tends to notice those more and more in rereading, you know), and I've found nothing. Well, I'll give it one more go, and this time, it's personal.

*one reread later*

Well, I've got nothing. Congratulations, you've made me a failure, SasukeBlade. I bet you feel so proud of yourself, don't you? :(

But of course, I kid. The ten months of work that you put into this shows through undoubtedly, bringing together a story of a caravan that eventually defeated the evils of the land. But that did not come without cost. Surdather lost the friends that he never thought he would have, and, in time, the tales of the caravan that saved the world faded, as is so very typical to historical events even of this caliber.

The style of this story is absolutely perfect considering the main character and his struggle through his life as a caravanner. While the constant jumping between time periods seemed like it would be awkward at first, it only added to how well the story flowed in eventually telling the whole story of the caravan's endeavors. The ending was especially powerful in its execution: it is so precisely because it lacked the eloquence of the rest of the sections of the story.

The first time I read through this, I was left speechless. Here I am, several rereads later, and the story is still awe-inspiring to me. Enjoy your time in the spotlight, as this is, hands-down, one of the best stories I have ever read. Period.

You're an inspiration to us all. Thank you for posting something so wonderful as this.

~ TitleContreven
Ravensbleeding chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
This was such a sad and beautifully written piece. It's one of the best I've ever read, and it's definitely going into my favorites. Keep up the awesome and amazing and totally soul-touching work.
BreathlessCyan chapter 1 . 6/21/2009
Your writing is special, you bring out every single heart-wrenching emotion that make you want to cry. You let us feel exactly what you want us to feel, to feel what the caravanners are feeling. We understand their thoughts and actions, simply because you want us to, and you bring that out in your writing. In the end, the long hard journey of a caravanner is forgotten, only there for a moment in time. I hope to see some more of your work soon...
Mokyn chapter 1 . 2/16/2009
Wow...

I don't think I have enough time to tell of how much I loved that. From the moment you said "Ladies and gents, the story that consumed my soul" I knew I was going to be reading something that had a lot of work put into, but not something that get to me so much.

The idea was just so different from what I've seen in other Crystal Chronicle fanfics, where everyone in the caravan gets along, but this wasn't like that. Surdather didn't care about anybody, he was apathetic and unfeeling towards almost everything, or so he wanted to believe. He had the most interesting perspective because he'd be feeling emotions and trying to tell himself that, no, it's something else.

And your writing is amazing as well. Just tiny sentences here and there that could be passed off as nothing but had a lot in them, such as one part that goes, "Before they learned. Before they knew. Before they shattered." Your style is just beautiful.

I'm not going to lie, there are tears in my eyes right now from reading what he wrote at the end. It's one of thise lines that expresses in such a small amount of words everything that was written before.

I know I've gone on for a bit about everything that I liked in this, but take my word for it, this isn't saying everything about what I loved.
The Trinity Tree chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
This is an absolutely beautiful piece of writing. As I read it I could practically see the story unfolding in pictures. You have amazing talent and this story really moved me.

Surdarther was a brilliant character. He seemed so alien to begin with, especially as at every opportunity you reinforced that he was not like the other races - no tear ducts, no need for affection - and yet at the end it was so easy to know how he felt. I really loved this piece and I'm so glad you took the time to finish it to the standard that it is. Well done.
espresso cup chapter 1 . 9/17/2008
brilliant :)
reiner chapter 1 . 7/7/2008
I almost cried. Believe me when I tell you that this is the best fic I've ever read on the site. Ever.
Zoe chapter 1 . 5/29/2008
There's only one review for this? It deserves at least fifty!

This was an amazing piece of writing, and I didn't skip ahead or skin once during my reading of it.

You constructed the story very well, and you seem to know your character Surdather extremely well. You must, because by the end of this I felt like I did.

Anyway, this review doesn't do your writing proper justice. Great job!
ladycordelia17 chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
Surdather, Jake, Tah Det, and Kareen-they start out as different as four people in this realm can be, but they grow to love each other, from the bottoms of their hearts. Standing against every form of danger possible can do that to people...

And when they make their final stand against the Meteor Parasite and Raem, it rends Surdather's heart that he alone returned to Tipa...the climb up Mount Vellenge and the many battles cost the rest of the caravanners their lives. And the memories of their time together will continue to rend his heart for all eternity.

My, you could outdo Shakespeare as a tragedian, couldn't you? T_T