|Reviews for Lunière|
| PreferBrunettes chapter 2 . 2/27/2009
I am so excited to be reading your story. I don't venture into AU very often, and I am realizing that's a mistake because I think the strength in Twific is in this genre. It's not easy capturing the voice of the actual characters and you are doing just that with Alice. I can see her, and feel her.
I loved the twist in the last chapter where she thought her vision was caused by Jasper. What I'm really excited for is seeing Jasper through her eyes. Jasper is such an unknown in fanfic and is usually a two-dimensional character without much personality. My favorite line so far- "His angel’s face was my first light when everything else was darkness and pain. He was so beautiful in my first memory that I didn’t think he could have been real. I was terrified that the all-consuming burn of thirst would scorch the image of his face from my mind, but his face never left me. From the moment he took my hand we have been soul-bound. I would be lost without him. He has changed his whole existence for me, and has never once complained. He could easily make me feel his agonizing self-denial, but instead carries the burden alone. I wonder who I am to be deserving of someone so self-sacrificing."
The books make it seem like Jasper is more attached to Alice than the other way around, but it makes so much more sense the way you have it written. And I adore the nickname Jas has for her - it's so unique and says so much just about their relationship. Of course he wouldn't refer to her by the same nickname that Edward uses.
On to the next chapter...
| Authoress of Evil chapter 19 . 2/26/2009
NO! sorry. I would've reviewed much, much, much more but I couldn't take my eyes off the page. Slight OOC (Jasper-I dunno. Just doesn't feel like the Jasper we all know and I love. Rosalie- dead on. Emmett- a little too mean. Edward- Okay, he's dramatic but not that dramatic! Carlisle-great. Esme-perfect.) And what the heck's with all the French? I have to keep googling or looking phrases up! But, other than that, very very good. Full marks! A! Five stars! Thumbs up!
| Authoress of Evil chapter 1 . 2/26/2009
So, she did see Edward's thoughts... but mistook them for Jasper's. Nice. You're an excellent author.
| igo3cho chapter 19 . 2/26/2009
Ah, that was sweet. And sad. I like this line: "my, no, our Bella," Lol
I don't know if I should resent that Catholic joke, or laugh at it XP
| Ava Sinclair chapter 19 . 2/25/2009
What I admire about you as a writer, among many things, is that you don't become complacent. I see that you keep pushing yourself to be better every chapter, and I see the results. I've read this chapter about four times post-beta and every time, I smile all the way through it. I love the Alice/Edward banter; I love their closeness, and I love the turmoil that both of them go through. You've made Alice so realistic with the way she struggles with her gift and her emotions.
I also appreciate the way that although Alice, Edward, and Jasper to some degree are the main characters in this fic, you don't demean the others through a one dimensional characterization. My favorite moments were Alice's indignation, and then jealousy, and the talk she had with Jasper about it. I also absolutely loved the bit with her struggle with blood-lust; so many stories seem to forget that Edward is not the only one who struggles with it.
I am really looking forward to seeing more of Bella though Alice's eyes as she becomes more and more integral in their lives.
Favorite Lines: Eighty-something year old vampires didn’t stomp their feet and run off to their rooms, but for one crazy moment, I actually contemplated it.
Only Emmett ever saw that side of her; she was very careful to keep the rest of us on the periphery of her turreted heart. Both Rosalie and Edward saw emotions as potential liabilities, and they could be frustratingly stoic as they crumbled inside their walled castles.
green-tinged disgrace (if I ever have to invent a band for any of my stories, you know what I'm naming them)
I hadn’t heard a word that tumbled out of Lunch’s mouth; it took all of my focus not to create a screaming appetizer from the seated snacks.
“You pulled me out of class so that we could have sex in Edward’s car?” TEASE!
Begging? How very un-Edwardian. (I'm stealing Edwardian for next chapter of EF, by the way.)
| feminin chapter 19 . 2/25/2009
wow this was an amazing chapter and I cannot wait for the next. You story is still my most favorite!
| missie33 chapter 18 . 2/24/2009
I love this I cant wait to read more!
| love bite chapter 19 . 2/21/2009
wow- what a wild ride. There is so much depth and etail to your writing. You have really fleshed out Alice's character like no one else. Can't wait for the next installment, even if it is short. It will still be worthwhile.
| fanwriter95 chapter 19 . 2/21/2009
wow, loved the chapter! :) please write more soon, I don't really care if it's short, this is really good. I almost forgot how much I like it.
| 00MaryAliceBrandon00 chapter 19 . 2/21/2009
This story is so great! I read what was posted of Midnight Sun, and I actually kind of like this better haha...it doesn't match up perfectly with Twilight, but I am seriously behind on my project because of you lol...great job, please update SON! _
| Noirr chapter 19 . 2/21/2009
Absolutely riveting. The depth of the characters draw you in and make you hold your breath as you wait to see what their next move will be.
| RilienRhovanion chapter 19 . 2/20/2009
i like your writing much better than s meyer's. i don't often write reviews, so when i do, you know i LOVE your story. i'm eagerly awaiting the next update!
| persephonesfolly chapter 19 . 2/20/2009
If I wasn't already hooked on this story, I certainly would be now for the simple reason that you used 'ratiocinative' in a sentence!
It's such a relief to read intelligent and engaging prose.
"Both Rosalie and Edward saw emotions as potential liabilities, and they could be frustratingly stoic as they crumbled inside their walled castles"
Beautiful imagery! I like the way you give Rosalie a vulnerable side.
"I heard the bell ring and the milling herd of the adolescent Forks population lowed and brayed in the hallways behind us." was another personal favorite of mine. I had to snicker over the aptness of that particular metaphor, as well as the havok blood typing day played on the Cullen family.
It's fascinating seeing Alice's take on the Bella/Edward relationship and all the upheaval it causes for the rest of the family.
Good move ending the chapter with a question. It brought the focus back to Alice's plight and her conflicting reactions to her brother's romance. I'm glad she's got Jasper there to calm her down and try to get things in perspective.
| 00MaryAliceBrandon00 chapter 11 . 2/19/2009
I am so loving this story! you do Alice's pov soo well! I feel like Stephanie could have written this!
| The Diamond in the Rocks chapter 19 . 2/19/2009
A perfect balance of romance, suspense, and romance. Just your ability to understand each character on a level of depth that most people haven't realized even exists is what brings the story to life and makes it so lovely. You give the characters more... more CHARACTER and personality that not even Stephenie Meyer gave them. Yet everyone is still perfectly in character. Amazing, I wouldn't be able to write this in my wildest dreams. It's as if you know Alice and Jasper and Edward and Emmett and Rosalie personally, as if you've had a sit down with them and gotten to know them as close aquaintances. The description in the whole thing as well, it just ties everything together and sets the mood for the story.
Definitely worth the wait, and that's saying something, because the wait was quite long. )