|Reviews for Lunière|
| PreferBrunettes chapter 14 . 3/1/2009
I've had to read this chapter a few times because at first read I kept playing the original version in my head. The next couple times I was trying to mesh all their thoughts, Alice, Edward and Bella's together to see how they all fit. So I have a question - you started writing this before the MS chapters came out, but have you read it? I read MS back when SM first posted the chaps and not since, but from what I remember you've done a good job at figuring out Edward's behavior.
Random thought - dude, how the hell do they all ride in that same car everyday and not end up hurting each other. 5 very opinionated and sometimes high strung vamps in a little volvo. end of random thought ;)
Alice's thoughts made me think of something - if Edward hadn't saved Bella and she had been hit by the van, do you think Edward would have taken her to Carlisle to turn her just as Rose did with Emmett? Alice is right, he doesn't understand love, but I think his attachment to Bella would have compelled him to change her because he couldn't imagine a world without her living in one form or another.
This is where the shit hits the fan. Your story has slowly been building to this point - from the periphery we've been watching Edward's behavior change but not really realizing where it was leading. As much as all the Cullens have been wanting happiness for Edward, it was never expected to come in human form. And since Edward isn't one to share and to talk about his feelings, I guess fate lead them to this point. I really never thought of all this until I read your chapter. And just like Alice's realization of Edward's love, I'm realizing that the Cullens were also happy with the status quo. Alice easily accepts the deviation and sees it as a turning point for Edward and accepts that Bella should be turned to be his mate.
"It was love, but did he know it? Of course he didn’t. He didn’t know what love was. He only knew what love looked like from the outside. His mind worked only to analyze and rationalize. Love was neither of those things. My poor confounded brother.
My mind reeled with the implications. The obvious obstacles that stood between them tempered my excitement and joy for Edward. How was Carlisle going to pull this off in a town as tiny as Forks? Clearly we would have to leave with newborn Bella to prevent any accidental deaths, but what about her father?"
Ugh, it's so frustrating how clear headed Alice is about this yet her brother is the absolute king of rationalizing but not seeing things clearly. The obstacles she sees are not the same ones that he does. It makes sense that a person, or a vamp in this case, would want their mate by their side. She doesn't yet realize that it's not that easy when it comes to Edward and what he thinks is "right." I think I'm rambling now but I feel like I had a break through here how things start changing between Alice and Edward. Where they may have agreed on things before, Bella becomes a major topic of disagreement. phew
| PreferBrunettes chapter 13 . 3/1/2009
This chapter was fantastic. Funny, light-hearted and how all snowball fights should be. I love that it's a war game, but I guess when you have super strength and speed you've got to make things more challenging. And the way you take advantage of both Edward's and Alice's abilities and make it a part of the storyline and not just an afterthought.
| PreferBrunettes chapter 12 . 3/1/2009
I'm not necessarily a fan of vamp Rose and it's not her fault - it's just the way she is. I think in the books she got the short end of the stick but you do such a good job giving her voice for being a minor character. I can almost understand why she is the way she is and love Emmett even more for still loving her.
I adore the way Edward and Alice interact - there's such a loving sibling bond between them. Plus we get to see both of them in a different light and much more well-rounded. Especially Alice - her love for fashion and her family. This line was funny and sad - "Reoccurring flashes of a dead human girl just didn’t make for a pleasant past time." If it were anyone else, they would have given Edward a hard time, but not Alice. That small velvet box isn't for Alice, is it?
And, of course, I love every bit of Jasper and Alice.
| PreferBrunettes chapter 11 . 2/28/2009
my last review was supposed to be for chapter 11 as well (i opened the review box while reading 10) sorry
| PreferBrunettes chapter 10 . 2/28/2009
As your story moves along, we more of how duplicitous the vamps' lives are. We're so used to them being a certain way since it was from BPOV that we don't realize that they are constantly pretending and acting. But you weave their two lives seamlessly together.
It's interesting that you don't have Edward confiding in Alice more, but I would guess because Edward doesn't fully understand himself why he keeps wanting to interact with Bella. I'm really enjoying viewing the B/E story from a third POV. It makes it new, and even knowing how the story ends, I want to find out how you're going to get us there.
| PreferBrunettes chapter 8 . 2/28/2009
The way you write the Cullens and their interactions with one another is so "normal." Just like a "real" family with bickering and games and love. And you show the bond between Alice and Edward beautifully - it's not just him saying to Bella that they're close. They carry their burdens together and that was very obvious when he came home and how much they rely on one another. Even though, technically, the family is "odd" (7) with him, he rounds them out. But Alice has become the peacebroker - she is invested in keeping her family together because they're the only family she's ever known. My heart aches for her.
And the passion you describe between Alice and Jasper is so consuming and beautiful. I can actually feel the heat between them. How they make things right for one another - if only life could just go away sometimes and they could remain in their bubble. Damn Emmett for ruining it but Emmett infused humor is always a welcome. I love the words they repeat everyday:
“I love you Jazz, thank you.”
“For you, my Alice, anything.”
Sorry for the jumbled review. I couldn't stop reading long enough to review each chapter. and one small thing - the spelling is Gaultier
| PreferBrunettes chapter 4 . 2/27/2009
In the books Alice's ability is not flushed out enough for us to understand the burden that she carries. It's more like a secondary response of "oh, it must be hard for her" but without comprehending the full extent of it. With just a few flashes you show how much effort it takes for Alice to coexist with her ability without it consuming her - to differentiate between reality and vision.
We're so used to seeing an Alice that loves Bella that its very interesting to see her act otherwise - there's no love at first sight. So, what I infer is that Alice's own feelings for Bella arise from what Bella means to Edward. I can't wait to see how things develop.
Fav line - “It’s nice to see you too, wee one. I missed your company for dinner,” Jasper winked at me, “Emmett just doesn’t kiss like you do.”
Your Jas just makes me melt.
| PreferBrunettes chapter 2 . 2/27/2009
I am so excited to be reading your story. I don't venture into AU very often, and I am realizing that's a mistake because I think the strength in Twific is in this genre. It's not easy capturing the voice of the actual characters and you are doing just that with Alice. I can see her, and feel her.
I loved the twist in the last chapter where she thought her vision was caused by Jasper. What I'm really excited for is seeing Jasper through her eyes. Jasper is such an unknown in fanfic and is usually a two-dimensional character without much personality. My favorite line so far- "His angel’s face was my first light when everything else was darkness and pain. He was so beautiful in my first memory that I didn’t think he could have been real. I was terrified that the all-consuming burn of thirst would scorch the image of his face from my mind, but his face never left me. From the moment he took my hand we have been soul-bound. I would be lost without him. He has changed his whole existence for me, and has never once complained. He could easily make me feel his agonizing self-denial, but instead carries the burden alone. I wonder who I am to be deserving of someone so self-sacrificing."
The books make it seem like Jasper is more attached to Alice than the other way around, but it makes so much more sense the way you have it written. And I adore the nickname Jas has for her - it's so unique and says so much just about their relationship. Of course he wouldn't refer to her by the same nickname that Edward uses.
On to the next chapter...
| victorionious chapter 19 . 2/26/2009
NO! sorry. I would've reviewed much, much, much more but I couldn't take my eyes off the page. Slight OOC (Jasper-I dunno. Just doesn't feel like the Jasper we all know and I love. Rosalie- dead on. Emmett- a little too mean. Edward- Okay, he's dramatic but not that dramatic! Carlisle-great. Esme-perfect.) And what the heck's with all the French? I have to keep googling or looking phrases up! But, other than that, very very good. Full marks! A! Five stars! Thumbs up!
| victorionious chapter 1 . 2/26/2009
So, she did see Edward's thoughts... but mistook them for Jasper's. Nice. You're an excellent author.
| igo3cho chapter 19 . 2/26/2009
Ah, that was sweet. And sad. I like this line: "my, no, our Bella," Lol
I don't know if I should resent that Catholic joke, or laugh at it XP
| Ava Sinclair chapter 19 . 2/25/2009
What I admire about you as a writer, among many things, is that you don't become complacent. I see that you keep pushing yourself to be better every chapter, and I see the results. I've read this chapter about four times post-beta and every time, I smile all the way through it. I love the Alice/Edward banter; I love their closeness, and I love the turmoil that both of them go through. You've made Alice so realistic with the way she struggles with her gift and her emotions.
I also appreciate the way that although Alice, Edward, and Jasper to some degree are the main characters in this fic, you don't demean the others through a one dimensional characterization. My favorite moments were Alice's indignation, and then jealousy, and the talk she had with Jasper about it. I also absolutely loved the bit with her struggle with blood-lust; so many stories seem to forget that Edward is not the only one who struggles with it.
I am really looking forward to seeing more of Bella though Alice's eyes as she becomes more and more integral in their lives.
Favorite Lines: Eighty-something year old vampires didn’t stomp their feet and run off to their rooms, but for one crazy moment, I actually contemplated it.
Only Emmett ever saw that side of her; she was very careful to keep the rest of us on the periphery of her turreted heart. Both Rosalie and Edward saw emotions as potential liabilities, and they could be frustratingly stoic as they crumbled inside their walled castles.
green-tinged disgrace (if I ever have to invent a band for any of my stories, you know what I'm naming them)
I hadn’t heard a word that tumbled out of Lunch’s mouth; it took all of my focus not to create a screaming appetizer from the seated snacks.
“You pulled me out of class so that we could have sex in Edward’s car?” TEASE!
Begging? How very un-Edwardian. (I'm stealing Edwardian for next chapter of EF, by the way.)
| feminin chapter 19 . 2/25/2009
wow this was an amazing chapter and I cannot wait for the next. You story is still my most favorite!
| missie33 chapter 18 . 2/24/2009
I love this I cant wait to read more!
| love bite chapter 19 . 2/21/2009
wow- what a wild ride. There is so much depth and etail to your writing. You have really fleshed out Alice's character like no one else. Can't wait for the next installment, even if it is short. It will still be worthwhile.