Reviews for Mystery Man
Super Natural Girl 01 chapter 1 . 11/23/2010
eh more detal whould have been nice,not that i'm trying to sound mean or anything.
Vani88 chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
Hm... I am at loss at what to think about this story... it is nice, albeit very short... On the other hand however, I can't help but be shocked at the way things were decided... it's almost like in animal kingdom, where the winner gets the girl... I think it would have been interesting to draw the story out... as I can't see Jake as the type of guy who "abuses" of the fact that he just won against Edward to take advantage of Bella... I'd rather see it that Jake is giving Bella time, until it is her coming to him...
hannahsnfl chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
Too short and un-described.
kaitebug chapter 1 . 11/30/2008
i dont think that after lossing edward the first thing she would do is have sex with jacob. i like it
jetblackbaby chapter 1 . 9/10/2008
Well. I guess I'm not really going to go into the fact that you have some ridiculous story lines...that's just unnecessary.

A.) You need to learn more about *cough* intimate situations? The way you describe your characters having sex is...sad. seriously.

B.) Utilize spell check please. It totally screws up whatever you're trying to get across when we, as readers, have to figure out half of the things you say and what tense you're trying to actually use. Yeah. Duh.

C.) Learn how to indent! Jesus. Conversations are seperate not all bunched together. You're missing commas and quotes and periods All Over The Place!
Milky Raine chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
TT no! POOR EDWARD! *goes off and cries*
Soon2BFamous chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
more please!
Torqueo Animadverto chapter 1 . 7/21/2008
What the hell was that? So yea Edward dies fighting for Bella, and 5 seconds after seeing Jacob, she's like oh yeah Jacob come on let's have sex? Get real. Wasn't she the least bit sad? I mean the love of her life dies and she doesn't even shed a single tear or is even sad? Wow. I didn't like it, at all. Your a good writer, you just need to work on being realistic.
storm-brain chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
and she, like, doesntfeel sad for Edward, who is DEAD?
sarahtwilightlover chapter 1 . 7/11/2008
dats really good
Miss Texas chapter 1 . 7/9/2008
i really liked it. i expected her to cry over Edward more , but i'm glad she didnt
huffpuff94 chapter 1 . 7/3/2008
Bella's reaction to Edward dying was quite funny. She was just kinda like "Oh well Jake, let's have SEX!"
xhellogoodbyegirl116x chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
um yeah, you're my new hero. this is exactly the story i've been searching for. come on, i know bella and edward are in love blah blah blah...but she can't admit that felt something for jacob in new moon? yeah right. go jacob.
littlecrickit chapter 1 . 5/27/2008
yeah! GO TEAM JACOB!
MissBehavior chapter 1 . 5/17/2008
Aww, it's sweet ]

I was squaling like some crazy obsessed fangirl (not that I am one, *lol*) when Jake won.

No offence against Edward, but for some reason, I really, really like Jake. He's so much nicer towards Bella, and he's hot (both literally and figuratively) and he wouldn't dare hurting Bella.

So in my opinion (and my opinion matters a lot xD) you have written a very nice one-shot. It might have been a bit longer, though ;]

Keep up the good work!
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