Reviews for This Time Imperfect
Shirayuki Hime999 chapter 2 . 9/29/2011
nicely written!

and nice song choice. i like AFI a lot too!
icedragon10126 chapter 4 . 1/26/2010
Great!

Cute ending. :]

Loved it.
Renn chapter 4 . 11/8/2009
A really nice fic! I like how you've written Byakuya's emotions and the way he clumsily expresses himself...)
apola55 chapter 4 . 11/7/2009
yay! i love byaren yaoi!
Drakka801 chapter 4 . 6/18/2009
aw, so kawaii! theyre both in character, too. great job! :)
xxRainbow-muffinsxx chapter 4 . 4/25/2009
so cute so cute so cute so cute i loved i loved iloved it! u get 10 pans of cookies i loved it soo much!
Still Evil Flame chapter 4 . 3/12/2009
I love the pacing in this. The frustration and emotion builds and then overflows just as you can't take anymore and then the perfect payoff! Wonderful.
Byakku8 chapter 4 . 3/2/2009
fun
nabraska chapter 4 . 1/14/2009
JGFTYRFDHFTGJ

hot
Faith Lee chapter 3 . 8/9/2008
Aww. I just want to pick Renji up and pet his hair, like I do my dog. *looks at dog*

doggie!Darla: *tilts head*

*imagines doggie!Renji*

oh my god. :D
SilverBlueGrey chapter 4 . 7/15/2008
aw... it's cute... I like it! Keep writing! Renji is so awsome! I lurves him!
kawaiichiisaikitsune chapter 4 . 7/1/2008
Why, chapter four, you're the best so far!

Ooh, and would you like at that? It's all one big section. This is gonna be hard for me to separate. Hahah. :)

Firstly, I'm really happy and impressed that the dream came back. That it had a deeper meaning than to describe Renji's feelings or how Byakuya might feel on the situation. But seeing it used again in this chapter, to further Renji's view, it seems, of what's happening, was amazing.

Secondly, Renji's slang is really annoying. I understand that you have to write it that way, but I think some spots could've been written a little differently. But, however annoying, still loved the dialogue between the two.

Thirdly, Renji's anger is just so interesting. Just makes me want to read over and over what he said. And his feuridian slip (sorry I can't spell that word) of sorts is just pure love.

Fourth, I normally hate anything involving the word perfect. But the paragraph "Byakuya continued to stare his fukutaicho down, concealing his emotions, but every time...let his emotions out for the world, or even just Renji, to see." was absolutely breathtaking. Probably the most alluring, intriguing, and loved parahraph (for me) in the entire story.

Fifth, Byakuya, trying to explain himself, all dainty and girl-like, is a sight to be memorized. Hahah, even if it's in the fiction world.

And lastly, the ending was love. I didn't understand the beginning of the paragraph describing the positioning of hands, but other than that, it was amazing. And Byakuya's sudden, unexpected change of character was refreshing, no matter how weird or disbelievable (I don't even know if that's a word...).

Once again, I love your story. Very, very, very beautiful. I'm definitely going to keep this somewhere, whether it be computer-favorites, user-favorites, or alerts. :)

Favorite line: "It had nearly breathed spring breezes toward him, light, tantalizing."

Thank you for the wonderful story. Quite amazing.
kawaiichiisaikitsune chapter 3 . 7/1/2008
Wow-zuh, third chapter, you have outdone yourself! :)

Once again (and again and again and again and all that jazz) I love reading your writing. The style just intrigues me, keeps me interests. And if it happens to waver for a minute, it doesn't last very long and I have to read what you write. Snaps for you, hahah. (And that sounds conceited, doesn't it? But I don't mean that. I actually have the problem of skipping words and just skimming stories instead of reading them, but I don't with yours. So mm.)

First part, I love Byakuya. As cold and lifeless as always. So passive and noncaring. But oh how that almost-smile on his lips makes his character so much more alluring. And how, it seems from his perspective, he describes Renji's scrawl as "a child just learning his strokes" was amazing. How could I forget the great ending line, as well?

Favorite line: "Byakuya knew it was selfish of him to point it out so boldly, but it was the only way he saw that he would get his desired result: his fukutaicho back to his messy, wonderful self."

Part two, Renji is so emotional. Let's them get the better of him, it seems. But his angst, though slightly annoying (and makes me want to punch him), is so vital and so well-done (which is rather uncommon in many angst stories I've read). Again, the portrayal of him makes me happy. :)

Part three, Byakuya's getting a little crack of emotion there. Even though he's away from any prying eyes, he's narrowing his eyes a lot and sighing with feeling. That just says something, doesn't it?

Last part, may I say, is pure love. Renji is so fun to read and envision in my head. Switching to and fro emotions is eye-catching. And the dialogue just blew me away. Only what, five lines, and it was so impressive. Especially the line Renji "pleadingly" said to Byakuya before going to make his exit. I must say that's one of my favorite lines of dialogue's I believe I've ever read.

And the emotion in Byakuya's "Renji"! Oh man, I'm in love with this story. Great job! Again! :)

-Dana.
kawaiichiisaikitsune chapter 2 . 7/1/2008
Go second chapter!

All right, like before I really like your writing style. Sometimes it feels like the sentences are a bit too drawn, or long, but still understandable (which is the key! haha).

I must say, I like how casually Byakuya was drawn into this. At first I thought it was rushed, but I just skimmed over it and I rather like it. Being focused on the muscles and losing face at the exposure of skin is, while not too refreshing, understandable. Good and simple for someone like Byakuya. And I applaud you very much for putting the "It was cute" line before the "Forcing himself to forget the feelings..." line. If the first had been missing or afterwards, I think it would've killed the whole section for me.

The dream was a bit iffy for me. I liked the thought of it - a plastered Renji must have some wicked dreams. I like how, on some level (if you believe dreams show your true desire), Renji's still obsessed with making Byakuya lose his icy facade. Byakuya's line "Ice and fire do not mix" was pure love for me. But I was rather saddened that he contradicted it so easily and just simply kissed Renji. But, eh, it IS Renji's dream.

Lastly, I really enjoy how you're portraying Renji's character. His obvoius irritation,; his angsty, smitten, childish behavior. I don't know how, but I love his hangover moment. Pure love, again. Great job!

Favorite line: "He wanted nothing more than sake and a good sprawl on his futon, and being one who generally obliged his wants, he soon found himself semi-drunk and sleepy in his room, wondering where all the light had gone." :)

-Dana.
kawaiichiisaikitsune chapter 1 . 7/1/2008
Wow, very powerful. I really like this. And your writing style is absolutely beautiful. So easy to read and alluring.

I like how there was an overall turn around. It went from child-like play, to tension, to angst. I'm really impressed how it flowingly switched from one to the other, the lines between just seeming to blend. Very nice job on that.

And, I must say, this has got to be my favorite line: "Guess that’s my role in this squad, to be something he can’t control." Even though he denies it later on, that line just caught my attention.

Great job, once again.

-Dana.
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