Reviews for Even In Death
Steph A15 chapter 16 . 4/19/2012
I really did not see that war an unexpected ending but it was really good.
Steph A15 chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
I can't wait to see how this story goes from here
Bella and Edward Always chapter 16 . 10/28/2010
i think that this story is really good start and middle but im sorry to say i do not like the ending. I found that it was dealt with much too quickly. I also think that the whole gang should be vampires maybe enwadr should'nt change her you'r right, maybe victoria. Then they should all live happy ever after together in one big house with bella emmett rose jasper edward and alice and bella and emmetts mum and dad and i dont think you should ever write about characters dieing at the end of a story unless its them being killed, you should let peoples imagination wonder how they would end up whe they were older. Sorry i di'nt realises i was going to say so much, i realise you probs wont change the ending of the story i just felt that i needed to write this. Very sorry, i do think that you have a very good story here, that could be amazing with the ending polished off. No critisism intended :/ :D
Unknown chapter 14 . 2/13/2010
I don't want to be rude but the story was interesting for a while but then you started adding completely random stuff that made it unpleasent to read. All of it was good, don't get me wrong, it's just that it was so random it didn't fit in with the story.
Rehtona chapter 1 . 6/19/2009
You should plan out your story more, it was overly rushed and I think you added things in just for the sake of adding them in, that had no relevance to the story. Having her parent's die, her boyfriend cheat on her, then she dates his brother (but not really) then the sort-of boyfriend pretends to be a stalker? and takes her out to dinner, then on her way home she gets in a car accident, three months later randomly has sex with said 'boyfriend', her brother beats him up, goes to boot camp, Boyfriend dumps her, she runs off to the woods and gets taken home with some guy, runs away and gets tied up and raped... then all of a sudden she's back out with Jasper? Then he gets kidnapped by vampires and it all goes downhill from there. It was all too much. You need a plot line and an actual theme. focus on one big thing and revolve little things around it.

not trying to be rude, what-so-ever. I'm just giving you my advice. I read it all the way through and though I understood it, it was difficult, a story should be simple to read. You were reaching to much, is what I think.

Good luck on your other stories. I hope they turn out good, keep reading and writing and you'll only ever improve.

- Janicee.
da weirdness chapter 16 . 2/15/2009
i have no idea what is going on in this story. none at all. or what went on. they got bit but weren't vampires? i mean come on that just seems a tad bit ricock-ulous. but then again this whole story was just fucking bizarre. bella gets raped and lets jasper into her life again no worries...oh, no pda. right because private displays are okay after you get molested. well thought out. really. well done. try again.
Akanamay chapter 3 . 12/18/2008
He rolled my eyes, but listened.

I was just wondering how he rolled Em's eyes. Kinda weird huh?
alicelover232 chapter 15 . 7/31/2008
Italiangurlinamessedupworld chapter 16 . 7/30/2008


I love how it ended!

Keep writing,

dazzled01218 chapter 16 . 7/30/2008
Well.. this last chapter was VERY rushed i must say. lol

good story ]
dazzled01218 chapter 2 . 7/30/2008
WOW! You brought both my loves into one. Twilight and the Colts. w00t. lol

MayaRln chapter 3 . 7/16/2008
Okay..that was a funny chapter :D :)
Italiangurlinamessedupworld chapter 15 . 7/12/2008
poor alice and rosalie...

but i loved it.

keep writing,

Amber is a Jasper's girl chapter 15 . 7/11/2008
I picked up her wrist and kissed it, tasting her skin on my lips and smelling her blood in the small veins. I couldn't acctually kill her but a little tast wouldn't hurt would it? I was just about to bite into her lucious skin when I heard a growl from the other side of the room...I thought her parents were dead?

How is that? I'm trying to help...probably didn't help much but hey, i tried! That was a great chapter! Update soon!

barbiedoll123 chapter 15 . 7/11/2008
please let her become a vampire from edward
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